Feathers and Fabric

Sick, Sick, and did I mention Sick?

2008-08-06T06:55:00.001-07:00

Boy, it's been quite a while since my last post! Not an intentional thing, trust me. I have a disease called Ulcerative Colitis and it's not a fun thing to have. Mostly it remains in remission and life goes on with happy things like wildflowers, daisys and sunshine. But, occasionally, for whatever reason, the colitis comes out of remission and raveges and attacks the body in such a way you have to experience it to fully understand it. That's what's happening to me right now.

This 'flair' [as it's called] actually began about May 6, 2008. Normally, 99% of the time, the medication I'm already on will stop the flair in it's tracks. This turned out to be one of the 1%-ers. Due to our move from Arkansas to Washington already planned, set and confirmed and ready to go, I continued to believe that the flair was a 99%-er and would go away. By June 12 it'd gotten so bad that I'd gone into a mild state of shock and ended up in the hospital from June 12 to June 23. June 23 I was released on an oral steriod commonly used to put colitis into remission, prednisone, but for some odd reason my body refused to accept and absorb it and I ended up right back in the hospital again on June 30 to July 11. This time they had to insert something called a port in my chest to receive IV medication at home. Not a bad thing, looks weird, but it's making me better.

I'm 20 pounds underweight and very weak still. Colitis can be compared to cancer, even though the two aren't related in any way shape or form. With cancer, you know you can get it into remission, but there is no schedule or law or rule that says when that will happen. You just do your meds and follow the rules for getting to remission and that's all you can do. That's what I'm doing with my colitis. Taking my meds and following very strict rules with diet and rest.

The diet for colitis really is a vegan diet and since I'm allergic to animal protien, it's not a new thing for me. I was vegan before this flair started. You learn what your colon likes you to eat and what it doesn't. What you could eat while in remission you can't always eat during a flair. Spices and fiber and water content all effect how your colon will react to things. The hardest part of a vegan diet and food allergies is the regaining the weight part. Vegan just isn't a high fat diet! So that will take time, too.

What I miss most during this healing process is my crafts. I am too weak to sew. I can't take the pictures I need to reopen my store right now, but if I did reopen my store right now, I'm too weak to keep up with it. That's been the down side, the sitting and doing nothing part. The upside has been our new home with 5 picture windows, each nearly covering the entire wall it's placed in, plus a climate cool enough for me to leave doors open for an amazing sea breeze to gently grace it's presence in our home. My view is from the top of a bluff looking down over Ediz Hook in Port Angeles Washington. I get to watch the ships and sail boats come and go. The sea [The Strait of Juan De Fuca] is calming and soothing and on clear days I can see Mount Baker 88 miles away in the northern part of Washington all the way on the other side of Puget Sound near Canada. I can see Victoria British Colombia, too. Despite being confined to the house and not being able to do a thing but sit and rest, I don't feel trapped or confined. Too much bright sun and fresh air all right in my living room.

I do hope to make more posts, of my progress if nothing else, as time passes. There is no way to predict how long it'll take to get my colon into remission, but prayers and healing vibes are always welcome.

Wagons West, The Conclusion

2008-06-24T09:35:00.000-07:00

Below is the continuation of 'Wagons West', Edgar Allan's Journal of our move from Arkansas to Washington state. In a week-ish, store stuff and craft stuff should once again make an appearance in my store and in my blog. But, all right now is dependant on Murphy of Murphy's Law fame. Murphy is currently stalking me and wreaking havoc where he finds havoc need wreaking. So, for now, enjoy the conclusion of our adventure. Diamondmeenuh Creations will be back up and running soon!

The Exodus Continued:
May 29, 2008: Mom got us up way too early again today, especially since we didn’t get much sleep since our neighbor on the other side of our wall kept going in and out and slamming her door. Well, none of us crashed, if nothing else, but it was quite noisy. Dad stuffed us into his truck in the right order without Mom saying a word and we were off and driving. Well, Dad was driving, Mom was watching AsaMina cause her hormones are still a bit nuts from all the time changes and early mornings and all. All of our systems, including Mom’s are a bit off. We like our tight schedule. Mom promises it’ll settle down again when we get to the place she’s calling Washington.
Today is also Cleo’s 12th birthday! Cleo told me Mom always seems to move or do something dramatic on her birthday, so she wasn’t surprised at the caravan ride to Washington landing on her 12th birthday. She said they moved to Arkansas on her 8th birthday. But, she also told me that this was the one time in the whole universe it was ok for Mom to be doing something dramatic on her birthday cause tomorrow we get to see Huey and Momma Tina! Huey is the love of Cleo’s life you know. She got really depressed, she tells me, when Belle and Ralphie both crossed over the Rainbow Bridge and didn’t want to live anymore. Then she met Huey and it was love and first sight. This will be the first time they’ll meet in birdson, you know. They talk on the phone and on the computer. Cleo’s my security blanket. I feel safe when she’s beside me—well in the cage beside me as we both like our own private space—and she feels safest when she’s got Huey’s picture. I’m glad Mom respects our feelings so much and makes sure me and Cleo and Huey are always together.
Mom took mostly scenery pictures today. I found New Mexico a really weird place to look at. It was very, very, very flat and there were no trees at all. But, as Dad drove further into New Mexico there were these odd mountain-hill things that popped up out of the ground. They were rather pretty. Mom said we went through the Painted Desert. It’s called that cause the dirt looks like it was painted. I thought that was fun to watch go by. I didn’t count birds today cause the scenery made me a bit nervous. We also went through mountains like I’ve never seen before. Cleo and Mom both told me they are like that in New Hampshire. I’ve never been there before and Mom and Cleo both told me it’s the other direction from what we’re driving. I guess I won’t see New Hampshire. Mom showed me a snow capped mountain called The San Francisco Peak. It was really cool cause I’d never seen a snow capped mountain before. It looked like it had one of Dad’s cowboy hats on.
Mom also told me that tomorrow she’d give me a rubber ducky and floaties cause my water bottle top didn’t hold suction today. She said I could have gone swimming in the diapers on my tray. Mom calls the paper towels she puts in our travel cages ‘diapers’ cause she says they catch ‘processed leftovers’ just like human pampers do. Mom’s a bit weird, but I’m glad cause I do love my Mom. My other two mom’s weren’t weird and they didn’t love me or even like me. By the way, does anyone know what ‘floaties’ are and why do I need them to swim in my wet diapers? I know what a rubber ducky is. I do hope I get one tomorrow!
I guess the one thing that excited Mom and Dad during the trip was that we crossed the Continental Divide at 1:32pm. Does that excite you? It doesn’t me. What is a Continental Divide anyway? One of those weird human things? I was watching the road when we crossed it and I didn’t see anything different than before the Continental Divide or after. Gotta be a weird human thing.
We’re now at Camp Cockatiel at another place called Motel 6 in a place called Flagstaff Arizona. I like this one better than the one we stayed at last night. It’s brighter and the A/C isn’t blowing on us. Mom had to cover us to keep the chill off. AsaMina likes this Camp Cockatiel, too. She and Worthington have the desk spot directly against the TV. She’s watching with her face nearly against the screen. Mom thinks it’s funny. I’m just tired, so I guess I’ll end today’s entry here. Tomorrow we head for San Diego and Momma Tina and Huey’s house! May 30, 2008: Another early day according to the clock Dad has in his truck. But, it feels much later. Mom said that we went through this thing called a ‘time change’. Actually we went through two of them. So, even though the clock says 6:40am pacific time, it’s 8:40 Arkansas time. Mom says our bodies will be really confused for a few days, but we’ll be fine. I was just grateful for the bit of extra sleep last night.
Today I counted airplanes and helicopters. Mom said they’re not birds, but they do fly like them. They made me and Cleo a bit nervous, but Mom was there to reassure us that it was ok. We traveled through this place called The Rocky Mountains. It was really cool, too. The mountains look like uncolored parrot sized pellets all piled one on top of the other. Mom said that’s where Pet Rocks are born. I’m not sure if she was serious or not since I’ve never seen or heard of a Pet Rock and Dad didn’t say anything to her. Cleo and Mom counted down the miles on the signs for San Diego all the way there.
After we got through the Rocky Mountains we went through a place called a ‘desert’. This desert was different from the ones in Arizona, which had rocks and cactus and funny little wiry bushes. The desert in California looked like a sand box with little wiry bushes in it. We also went through three things called ‘Border Check Points’ when we were on Route 8 in California. Mom and Dad thought it was weird since we were in California and not this place called Mexico. I’ve heard of Mexico on the news. I know Mexico has cool music cause Dad played some for us on the radio through Arizona and California. But, I can’t tell you much more cause I’ve never been to Mexico. Mom and Dad said we got close, however. If AsaMina had sneezed she would have slimed Mexico it was so close. Mom and Dad said that the border check points were to make sure we didn’t have illegals with us. I guess that’s why Mom micro chipped us and got our health certificates, too. We were legals, not illegals she explained to me after we got through the first check point. When we got up to the little building where the border check people were standing we were all super quiet in the back seat, even Tyson Parker didn’t wolf whistle at the lady who stopped us, and the border check people just waved us on. They didn’t check anything except where we came from. Dad told them Springdale, Arkansas and I guess that means Mom and Dad aren’t illegal, either. Mom said it was very good that we were quiet cause she didn’t have to take out the papers we got at the vet and show them to the border people. Mom said she was very proud of us, especially Tyson Parker who normally wolf whistles or yells ‘come-eeeer’ to ever human he sees.
Mom said it was the first time she’d seen signs for Los Angeles since she was 17 years old. Dad said he was 13 years old the last time he saw this side of the Untied States, which I guess was a long, long, long, long time ago. Mom and Dad are old, you know.
Once we got mostly over the mountains Mom read Dad the directions to Momma Tina’s house. Dad at one point told Mom we had to find Route 65 and Mom said Dad wasn’t’ listening so Cleo made sure Dad knew exactly where to go. She gave Dad all the directions, but Dad didn’t listen to her either. Mom told Dad to listen to her and Cleo. See, Huey and Cleo do this BSP thing where they can be with each other in ‘spirit’, so Cleo knew the area and exactly where Momma Tina and Huey live.
We found Huey’s house with no problem thanks to Cleo and I was so happy to see my Momma Tina! Momma Tina is really cool and nice. Huey only had eyes for Cleo, but Mom and Momma said it was because they were seeing their pictures move for the first time. Huey loves Cleo and Cleo loves Huey—even though they are real to each other now. Cleo got the cart next to Huey’s cage and the rest of us got put on a coffee table pretty low down. Camry, Huey’s sister who’s a medium sized sporty model dog, came over and stuck her nose up against our travel cages. None of us, including Worthington, are afraid of Camry. We’d never have one of our Weenie Cousins sniff us like that, but Camry is ok. We all knew she was safe and wouldn’t hurt us. We haven’t seen Cricket yet. He’s Huey’s brother, a cat. Cricket gets nervous around Huey and Momma Tina said that all of us were probably giving Cricket grey fur. I think Mom saw him , however. Momma Tina fed us tortilla chips and we got to stay up WAY, WAY past our bed time so we could have as much fun with Huey and Momma Tina as possible before we have to leave for San Pedro tomorrow. I really don’t want to leave. It feels so much like home here. I feel safe here and I’m not scared or shy at all with Momma Tina or Huey or Camry. I even showed Momma Tina my anti gravity boots and did some of my extra special back flips just for her, too. Momma Tina likes my anti gravity boots and back flips. I even let her get really close to me without panicking, too. Mom was very proud of me for that. I think I was proud of me for that, too.
Huey made Worthington duck a few times, which made Mom and Momma laugh. Huey can fly and he sounds like a hummingbird when he does. None of us are used to hummingbirds buzzing around our heads! But, Huey was cool and didn’t scare us either. He kept buzzing the top of Mom. Mom knew he was making sure she was a safe place to land. I heard Mom say that after we went to bed (way, way past our bedtime!) that Huey landed on Mom for just a second. He also helped Mom and Momma do a puzzle. I sure can’t wait for tomorrow. We get to spend the whole day with Huey, Camry and Momma Tina!
May 31, 2008: Mom says we’re on normal time today, which still isn’t normal to us. I do hope I get used to this Pacific Time thing soon. But, tired or out of whack or not, I’m glad we get to spend the whole day here today with Momma Tina and Huey!
It was a great day. Mom and Momma sat in the living room with all of us and worked on two puzzles. One Momma almost had done but hadn’t finished due to the horses not cooperating. Then they did a puzzle with an easy tree that took them all day to figure out. Humans definitely are very entertaining! Cleo was worried about me being on the coffee table by myself with Tyson Parker on one side of me and AsaMina and Worthington on the other, so she asked Mom to move her from next to Huey to next to me. I told her I was fine and that Camry was protecting me from indecent proposals from Tyson Parker, but Cleo does look out for me and insisted. Mom and Momma swapped her and AsaMina and Worthington’s travel cages around so they were next to Huey and Cleo was next to me. I liked when Camry came up to my travel cage and sniffed me. She’s nice and not scary at all. Kind of like a big cockatiel, but with fur. Momma said she’s half golden retriever and half border collie. I just know she’s a great sister to me and she makes me feel safe. Worthington and Huey can speak the same language and they talked and talked and talked and talked all day. Mom and Momma thought it was cute. I enjoyed listening to the conversation myself. Huey let Mom know she was accepted by landing on her. Huey really trusted Mom from what Momma said cause he’d buzz the top of Mom’s head like a hummingbird on jet fuel (Mom’s words for it, and I agree. The little guy is really fast!). He frizzed the top of Mom’s head from flying so close to the top of it. It made Mom laugh. Huey also is really good at puzzles and he helped Mom and Momma put both of them together. He’d walk around on the puzzle pieces and talk to each one. He’d also hand Mom and Momma the pieces he found that they were looking for. Huey sat on Mom, too. Mom can speak fluent budgie and they talked. I didn’t go and hide behind my toys once today cause I just feel so safe here. Safer than I’ve ever felt in my 2 ½ years.
We also got things called ‘egg biscuits’ as a treat from Momma Tina and Huey. None of us has ever had one before, but they are good. Mom said we’d get cheerios for breakfast tomorrow. I’m definitely looking forward to that!
I’m glad today was a quiet day with everyone in the same room. I’m going to miss Momma Tina and Huey when we leave for the place called San Pedro tomorrow. Mom said we’re going to see someone called Uncle Jerry and Aunt Vida. I sure hope they’re as nice and unscary as Momma Tina.
June 1, 2008: It was quite the day! We left Momma Tina, Huey and Camry at 9am. Mom really wanted to stay for breakfast, but Dad was in a hurry. I wanted to stay for breakfast, too. I wish Dad had let us stay just a bit longer. But, we left at 9 am anyway. We took this road called I-15 and went through more mountains. It was pretty, but all of us but Dad wished we were still at Momma Tina’s. It didn’t take us long to get to Los Angeles and a place called Harbor City where our Camp Cockatiel was for the next two nights and a day and a half.
Our Camp room wasn’t ready so we just drove down to Aunt Vida and Uncle Jerry’s place about 15 minutes away from our Camp Cockatiel Motel 6. Aunt Vida was startled to see Dad but when she figured out who he was she was thrilled and she was thrilled to see Mom and us, too. They used to have bird kids also, but they don’t anymore. Just a golden retriever who bounces a lot, but is really cool named Whitney and they have a chinchilla named Chilla who was very friendly to us. We stayed in the sun room with Chilla while Mom and Dad and Aunt and Uncle went to a Japanese restaurant. Mom told me she had stuff called Miso Soup with tofu and seaweed in it and Teriyaki Salmon with rice for dinner. I do know it must have been good since Mom said it was, but I have not one clue what Miso, tofu, seaweed, teriyaki and salmon are. I wonder, however, if all that stuff is as good as nutri-berries.
Mom and Aunt Vida and Uncle Jerry were all giggling about Dad. He actually tasted the Miso Soup! I know just from the little bit of time I’ve been in this family that Dad won’t eat anything unless it’s unhealthy and/or fried. Miso Soup, I guess, is neither.
We got back to camp really late, but it was lots of fun. It was my first car ride at night time. I’m not sure if I want to do it again or not, but I’m glad I got to do it once. Aunt Vida and Uncle Jerry talked to us and everything. None of us were scared of Whitney either. But, he was kept on the other side of the glass door from us so he wouldn’t bounce us. Mom said he had lots of ‘Go-Juice’. I guess that’s what made him move so fast. We also got to meet Tiny. Tiny is a big tortoise who was wandering around the back yard. Tiny came up to the glass outside doors to introduce himself, he was quite polite. It was a really good day. Ok, the truth, it was basically a good day. When we got back to Camp Cockatiel Momma Tina, Huey and Camry weren’t there waiting for us. I do miss them and Cleo won’t leave Huey’s picture that Mom attached to the back of her travel cage. She misses Huey most of all.
June 2, 2008: It’s a slow morning today. Mom said we don’t need to leave Camp till 10:45 am to get to Grandpa and Grandmas place. Mom’s nervous about it, I can tell as can the rest of us kids. But Mom won’t admit it.
No Momma Tina, Huey or Camry again. We’re all still missing them.
Well, it’s 5:51pm and we’re all back at Camp Cockatiel in Harbor City for the night. Mom said it’s going to be an early night cause we’ve gotta get up extra early tomorrow morning to head out to Medford Oregon which isn’t anywhere near Momma Tina, Huey and Camry. Cleo won’t leave Huey’s picture. I think she’s been in BSP with him for most of the day. We had a good visit with Grandma and Grandpa. They have a cool Husky named Bart who can sing and he did sing for us. It was really neat sounding. I’ve never heard a Husky sing before. While the humans had cold cuts for lunch me and my siblings camped out in a pool house that had the coolest of cool echos. Bart tried to check on us, but he wasn’t allowed in. Grandpa said he’d never seen a tiel before and Mom wanted to be sure we were safe. Mom and Dad and Grandma and Grandpa had a good time and lots of good human talk.
Now, before I go on, why is it called a pool house when there is no pool in it? And is a pool anything like a bathtub? If it is, why on earth would humans willingly get into one? I HATE having a bath as to the rest of us. And for another thing, why are they called ‘cold cuts’? Isn’t it ‘cold sliced meat’? And the humans think we’re weird. At least when we have something to say we say what we mean and not all this secret code word stuff that they do.
After a few hours with Grandma and Grandpa we got to go to G&G’s house. Cleo and AsaMina know them and have spoken to them over the phone and told me that they loved all of Mom’s kids. They loved the stories about us and pictures, too. They crossed over the rainbow bridge just after AsaMina hatched, so I never got to meet them over the phone or in birdson either. But I guess seeing their old house is close enough. Mom said it’s changed so much that only the address is the same in the front. The front door faces the street and not up the street like it did before. There is no ivy on the stair railing, no dining room picture windows and the front living room picture window was gone, too. Mom also said she didn’t like the palm trees. She did tell us that it looked like the fig tree was still in the back yard. Mom was glad she saw G&G’s house and I’m glad we got to see it too.
I got to see something Mom called ‘L.A. scenery’ while we were on the 405 Freeway. It looked like a bunch of cars and trucks and motorcycles moving really, really slowly. It wasn’t as interesting as the buzzards flying above the cars. I do hope the scenery from Los Angeles to Medford is much more interesting than cars moving slowly.
June 3, 2008: Boy did we get up early! Mom had us up and Dad had us packed into the truck by 6:20am! We headed north on the 110 freeway and then got onto one called the 405 and got stuck in the L.A. Scenery for 45 minutes. Mom said it’s like that all the time on the freeways cause of so many humans on their way to work. You’d think they’d plan their trips better so they wouldn’t get stuck in the L.A. Scenery.
Most of Southern California was just city and buildings and such. It wasn’t until we drove over another mountain range and came near a place called Taft and Maricopa that we saw plants and farms again. Well, they were grape farms, Mom explained to me. Humans grow grapes to let them get old and shriveled and sell them as things called raisins. Mom said that’s where the raisins come from that are in our seed and pellet mix that AsaMina and Worthington love to throw at each other when they play on the jungle gym. Mom also told me that grapes also get fermented to make stuff called wine that gourmet humans and bums like to drink. Humans really are a weird species!
When we got a bit further north we saw where the rice in our Birdie Mush comes from. The town called Williams in Northern California has a farm called ‘rice pattys’. The pattys looked like soggy pools of grass, but Mom said that’s how they grow rice. That was interesting to see since I do love rice. We didn’t stop so we could taste any of the grass, ‘rice’, growing in the pools of water. Mom said it was still growing and wouldn’t be ready for tasting and eating till later on in the year.
I kept Mom and Dad guessing, too. I have been squeaking twice when I see a bird and like the well trained humans they are, Mom and Dad look right out the window for the bird, say to me ‘bird-bird’ and tell me I’m a good boy. I’m grateful for Mom and Dad on this trip. They’ve really kept me entertained! But, today I didn’t just count birds, I counted airplanes and helicopters, too. Sometimes I just would squeak twice to see if they’d look out the window and they did, every time! I love my Mom and Dad!
After a really, really long time, we got close to where Medford Camp Cockatiel was. But, before we could get to camp we had to go through the Shasta National Forest. That was really, really pretty! I think I enjoyed watching that scenery most of all. Lots of really, really tall trees and birds, too, I spent most of that part of the ride looking out the window or napping. It was getting late. Mom pointed out Lake Shasta and Mount Shasta itself. The mountain was the biggest I’ve ever seen! We didn’t get into camp till 7:30pm. Mom just got our dishes filled and water bottles filled for tomorrow and then we all just went to bed.
Mom says tomorrow is our last day on the road. She told me that we’ll be home tomorrow, which is a good thing since Worthington and AsaMina are beginning to get on the others nerves and ours, too. We’ve been in our travel cages since May 11 and on the road for 7 whole days. I think we’re all ready for home. Mom promised, just one more day.
June 4, 2008: It’s another way too early of a day! Dad had us all packed up by 6:30am again and we’re off for Port Angeles where our Grandma lives and our home is. I do wonder how the moving men moved our whole house to Washington. Mom told me it’s a ‘new’ house, not the same one we were in in Springdale. I do hope it’s got more sunny windows than our Springdale house cause it was always so dark in our room so Mom wouldn’t get sick. I do hope Mom doesn’t get sick in our new house. I do love my Mom and don’t like seeing her sick.
Our first stop was to feed Dads truck. It had an empty tummy as did Dad. While Dad was filling up the truck with its breakfast Mom showed us something called a rainbow. I’ve only heard of this rainbow bridge before, but this was the first time I’d ever seen it. It was beautiful! I don’t think Tyson Parker saw it, however, because he was talking to the lake sea gulls that were flying all over the place. They made me a bit nervous, but Mom said they were outside and we were inside so we were safe. I just watched the rainbow some more. It was good I didn’t see anyone cross over it cause that would have been really scary and sad, too.
After the truck and Dad had happy tummies we continued to drive north. About half way through the state of Oregon we passed a sign that said we were half way to the North Pole. The sign said it was the 45th parallel, but I didn’t see anything but the sign. Mom told me it was one of those human things so humans would know where they were. Dad told me we weren’t going all the way to the North Pole, just to Washington, a few more hours north. I don’t know, I think I’d have liked to see the North Pole myself. The ‘parallel’ is like the ‘continental divide’, invisible.
Mom pointed out farms up in the Oregon mountains to me. It was a damp drizzly day today, but it was really pretty cause the rain drops made the grass and trees sparkle a bit. I was too busy watching the sparkles to look for birds or airplanes or helicopters today.
Mom got really excited when we got to the end of Oregon and got near this bridge that connects Oregon into Washington. I looked, too. Mom said she and Grandma and Auntie Mir all drove this same road when Mom was a kid. Mom told me that Grandma’s cars odometer went from all 9’s to all 0’s on that bridge. Mom was definitely more excited than I was. Tyson Parker actually opened his eyes to watch the bridge, too. Tyson Parker has been sleeping for most of the car trip. He woke up to listen to the Mexican music in Southern California, but beyond that, he’s been a lazy bum and missing all the cool stuff we’ve been driving past.
Mom got lots of pictures of the Portland Oregon skyline and even more of the bridge she was so excited to see. I think she told me it was the Vancouver Bridge, but I’m not sure.
We drove some more and Mom showed us that we were getting close when we got off the I-5 freeway and onto one the humans labeled the 101. The 101 went next to this place called Puget Sound and then through Potlatch State Park and some place called Mynerva Beach. It was really pretty. I’ve never seen water like that before. It was a deep blue green and sparkled. I do like sparkles!
Mom called and talked to Grandma when we got to this town called Sequim. Mom said it was the town next to where our new home is. Mom said we were going to go meet Grandma first so we could all get hugged and pick up eggs and water for our Birdie Mush. We’ve been eating just dry foods on this car ride and all of us, especially Cleo, miss our Mush.
I helped Mom watch out the window for the streets Grandma told her to drive down. Mom said that Port Angeles had changed a lot, but there were still things she recognized and was able to help guide Dad to Grandma’s house. And, we did have to go past the Strait and through the Woods, just like the Christmas song…..or is it Thanksgiving?
Grandma is a really awesome lady! She climbed into the truck next to Mom and talked super sweetly to us and whistled at us and talked a lot to Mom and Dad, too. We didn’t stay long since we were all tired and Mom and Dad wanted us to get to the new house so we could settle in for the night.
It only took about 5 minutes to get to our new home. It was chilly out, so we were mostly covered when Dad carried us in. We got the living room dining room area as our new spot and Mom set up the blankets on the floor and put our travel cages on top. Mom told us that our big cages wouldn’t be here till tomorrow. The movers still had all of our things that didn’t fit in Dads truck.
Mom and Dad checked out the house and picked their rooms and Dad unpacked the truck and Mom found new homes for all the stuff. All of us were exhausted and went to bed as soon as the truck was empty. Mom slept on the floor in our room so we’d know we were safe. I’m glad Mom micro chipped me and kept me and brought me with the family on this trip.
June 5, 2008: We got up at 8am, our normal time, which still feels different to us cause the times are different between Arkansas and Washington. But Mom said we’d all adjust soon. Mom ate breakfast with us and then the movers showed up a little later at 9am. They were really nice people. Tyson Parker did his best to get their attention, but they were too busy moving our things into the house to stop to talk to Tyson Parker.
After they brought in our big cages Mom began cutting all the ties she put in to hold our toys and perches in place. She also had to put my cage back together again cause the back wall fell loose and was being held in place with a couple of my toys and Mom’s ties. As soon as our cages were together she took us out of our travel cages and put us back into our big cages. I immediately began looking around and all my toys were still there and my perches were still there, too. All was where I left it, but what Mom took out for my travel cage. She said she’d put the toys from the travel cage back into my big cage as soon as she can.
AsaMina and Worthington were the happiest to be back in their big cages. They have separate big cages, but shared a travel cage for the trip. They were happy not to have the others tail in their faces anymore.
Mom set our cages up differently than they were in Arkansas. I’m still next to Cleo, but she’s got Tyson Parker on her other side now and not Worthington. Worthington is now next to me and AsaMina is next to him. Mom didn’t want to totally separate them since they are good friends.
June 13, 2008: I figure it’s fitting to end this journal on Friday the 13th since I was named after Edgar Allan Poe and am Mom’s 13th tiel.
It’s been a very busy 9 days for Mom, Dad and us. Mom and Dad have run errands nearly every day and have managed to get all of our stuff and their stuff out of boxes and put where it belongs. I just love our new home! I’ve never seen anything like it! We’ve got the 5 HUGEST windows you’ve ever seen! The windows look out over the top of other humans houses and we have a clear view of the Strait of Juan De Fuca and the Ediz Hook and a place called Vancouver Island! We can see boats and big ships come and go and Mom made sure we can see all of this from our big cages AND our jungle gym. From our dining room and our jungle gym we can see the Cascade Mountains and the grey clouds that live on top of them. There are lots of birds here, too. Mom says they are Ravens and Crows and Sea Gulls. Mom says I need to learn to say, “Nevermore” to the Ravens. It’s so nice and bright here. Even on cloudy days it’s brighter than it was in Arkansas. Our room isn’t hot or dark at all, which is good for us and Mom, too.
Dad and Tyson Parker like to look out Dad’s front room picture window. Not sure why since it’s got the same view as our living room window. I’ll try not to be too shy and I’ll ask Dad later.
But, that’s my Exodus story from Arkansas to the place called Washington. I really had fun and so enjoyed all I saw and got to do. I’m happy to be here and I’m happiest of all to be part of this family forever. I’ll keep working on not being so shy since I do know Mom will always be there to keep me safe and I’ll always be part of this family, too.
When I asked Mom if we’d get to have another Exodus again she said to me, “Quoteth the Raven, ‘Nevermore’.”

Wagons West!

2008-06-13T19:42:00.000-07:00

Well, it's over. We've driven 3090 miles from Arkansas to Washington State. Yeah, we took the long way here, but we got here none the less. The drive was spectacular and fun for both Hubby and I as well as our 5 tiels: Cleo Chaquita Pattee [who celebrated her 12th birthday on the road], AsaMina Sura [who gave me grey hair by laying 3 eggs during the journey--all sterile], Tyson Parker [who sat like a Garfield suction cup car stuffy to the side of his travel cage for the whole car ride while he snoozed], Edgar Allan Chirp [who kept a close eye on all that 'flew' past], and Worthington Israel Wentworth [who kept us entertained with chittery noises while he tried to keep his tail out of AsaMina's face so she wouldn't pull it].

I've never been one to keep a journal. I just can't seem to do it. Nope, can't figure it out either. But, in order to document the trip I did feel one was necessary. Below is the first half of that journal [page wise]. It's all told from the perspective of my 2 1/2 year old, Edgar Allan. I do hope all those who read enjoy his point of view.

In craft related news, I'm hoping to get pictures taken tomorrow and ready to upload so I can reopen my store sometime next week. The rest of this journal will be posted in a couple of days.

“The Exodus”
From Edgar Allan Chirp Stilwell’s Point Of View

May 11 2008 to
May 28 2008

My name is Edgar Allan Chirp and this is my story. My Mom is home number three for me. My first Mom adopted me and kept me for just a few months before she decided I just wasn’t what she wanted. She knew this lady who did her hair. The hair lady had just lost a tiel that looked like me named Bobby. So my first Mom passed me off onto Mom number two. Mom number two didn’t like me either. She kept me in a small cage in a dark corner. If I made any noise at all she’d throw a cover over me to keep me quiet. I lived with her for about a year. Then, when she got tired of throwing the covers over me she had one of her friends find me Mom three. Mom three has a whole house full of tiels. Mom three bought me a huge, gynormous cage with toys I’m still discovering there are so many of them. She makes me this stuff called Birdie Mush that has to be the best stuff I’ve ever tasted on the planet. I’ve got siblings, too, four of them. Cleo’s my best friend. She teaches me all I need to know and shows me how to be social. I’m quite shy and really don’t like humans near me. All the humans I’ve known before either have hurt me or scared me. My forever Mom understands and is just really nice to me, even when I’m scared. If Cleo is next to me, I feel safe. There is also AsaMina Sura. She runs the whole house, Mom and Dad, too. Cleo tells me she keeps all of us safe and protects us from harm. Then there is Worthington Israel Wentworth. He’s a year younger than I am. I’m 2 ½ years old and he just turned 1year old. He’s AsaMina’s shadow and second in command. If she’s busy and you have a question, just ask Worthington Israel Wentworth. The last of my siblings is Tyson Parker. He’s really weird. He tries to date fabric and paper towels and he’s even propositioned me a few times! Cleo told me he’s a rescue, too. Mom takes in strays until she runs out of room and since she’s out of room, us 5 are all there is. Cleo told me there used to be eight in the flock, but that was before my time.
Mom picked me up from the hair lady on June 17, 2007 and on the way home she talked sweeter to me than any one ever had before. She asked me if I liked my name Bobby. I didn’t. I knew I was given that name cause the hair lady didn’t know what else to name me and that was the name of her dead tiel. I’m not dead, I’m very much alive, you know. Mom asked me if I liked the name Edgar Allan. I did, very much and I told her by saying ‘chirp’ in response. Mom told me she picked that name cause it was a dark and stormy day when she picked me up from the hair lady and she likes the author Edgar Allan Poe. I was honored to have a name picked just for me and I puffed up as big as I could to tell that to Mom. It was my Auntie Darlene’s tiel, Mr. Tee who gave me my third name, Chirp. Mr. Tee is 22 years old, if you can believe that! Cleo is 12 years old and lives in the cage next to me and I can’t believe she’s that old, so it’s even harder to believe Tee is 22! Cousin Tee kept telling Mom and Auntie Darlene that my name should be ‘chirp’ and after saying it about a zillion times they figured it out and my name became officially Edgar Allan Chirp. I was very honored! My very own special name, picked special just for me and not given to me just because I wasn’t good enough or special enough or loved enough for a name of my own.
Mom always understands how scared I am. She always just talks to me and only holds me when she has to weigh me or trim my wings. She always talks sweetly to me when she does. It really doesn’t make it less scary, but it does help a little. Mom took me to this place called a ‘vet’ and, although it wasn’t fun, she told me it meant I was hers forever. I got this thing called a microchip put in between my shoulder blades. Mom says it’s my registration so anyone who wants to know where my forever home is, they just have to scan me and my microchip will tell them. Not all humans can understand cockatiel, you know. Mom does a pretty good job most of the time. Mom even lets me make my car alarm noise and tells me I’m a good boy when I do! None of my other two Mom’s liked my car alarm noise. They said I was bad. Mom says I have talent. I can also say ‘hello’. Mom says that’s special, too. I think she wants me to learn how to say ‘Edgar’. I’m working on it, just for her.
This pretty much brings me to this “Exodus” thing. November 2007, just after my second birthday (October 17, 2007, which is as close as Mom could figure I hatched cause of the markings I had when she brought me home), Mom told us we were moving to this place called Washington State. Cleo had heard of it. That’s where our Grandma lives, she told me. But, Cleo had never seen this Washington either. It made me pretty nervous and very scared. I was positive that Mom would get rid of me and find me Mom number four, but strangely enough, she didn’t! Instead Mom told me I was forever part of the flock. She told me she loved me and I was coming, too. I still found it hard to believe until Mom put me in my very own custom travel cage with my favorite toys and a brand new toy I love very much. It’s a bell with dangly bell pull chains on it. It’s a lot of fun to play with! Mom even got me a pinecone to munch on and play with during our Exodus to Washington.
On Mothers Day, May 11, 2008, Mom moved us from our big cages to our travel cages. She explained to me that this is where I’d live till we got to the place she’s calling Washington. My travel cage is bigger than the cage the hair lady made me live in and it’s got a zillion more toys, too. Mom filled dishes with the pellets and the nutriberries I like so I’d have plenty to eat. She only puts her hands in my travel cage to fill my dishes or change my papers. Mom changes my papers once a day, always in the morning. If I stay calm, don’t panic at her hands and only hiss or grumble at her, she praises me for being a good boy! I’m not so afraid of Mom anymore as I am still fearful I’ll be hurt. My first two Mom’s hurt me and scared me and I’m still getting used to the idea my forever Mom really does love me and won’t do those things to me. Cleo reminds me and Mom does, too and I am learning to trust. Mom told me that I could take as long as I want to learn trust cause it has to be earned. I’m not sure what she means exactly, but I know it doesn’t hurt and it’s not too scary either.
Me and my siblings lived in our travel cages for a week and a half before our Exodus began. On May 22, 2008 we moved to my Auntie Pugs house. Auntie Pug is nice to me, too. She talks to me nicely and doesn’t mind me being shy. She tells me I’m very handsome like Mom does. Auntie loves me, too. Auntie’s kids have fur, not feathers. They are weenie dogs named Lucy, Rambo and Maddie Mae. We were greeted with enthusiasm to spare when we got to Auntie’s house. Dad put us into his truck. Mom made sure I had the seat next to Cleo in the truck so I wouldn’t be scared. Dad made sure our travel cages were safe and secure for the two block ride to Auntie and Uncles house. We were put on Mom’s bed at first to get our bearings. Then Dad came in with a table that Cleo told me once belonged to Ralphie, one of her two mates. She’s so old she’s out lived two boyfriends! She’s got a forever mate now named Huey. Huey is pretty handsome and he’s nice, too. Well, his picture is nice. I haven’t seen him in birdson yet, but Mom says that’s our next stop after Auntie’s.
We got placed on the table and then Auntie and Uncle let the Flying Weenie Puppies in. Cleo told me we needed to make sure Lucy got fed. Lucy is the biggest of the Weenie Cousins, but I guess she’s under fed or something cause Cleo told me we had to feed her pellets, so I did. All of us but AsaMina, who’s flock leader and watches to make sure we’re doing things right and Worthington who’s watching AsaMina to learn how to make sure we’re doing things right. Cleo, Tyson Parker and I fed Lucy most of the pellets we had in each of our travel cages! Lucy was very thankful and barked lots of thank yous at us. Maddie Mae is very hairy for a Weenie Cousin, but Mom told me she’s a ‘mutant’. Half Weenie dog and half something called a Yorkie. I think she’s a cool cousin, hairy or not. Maddie Mae also ate the pellets we threw on the floor for Lucy. The third Weenie Cousin is Rambo. He’s pretty cool, too. He doesn’t eat the pellets, but he does think he can fly. He bounced and barked at us and he showed us his teeth, too. His teeth are really cool cause they’re purple and fuzzy. Mom says they need a bath in the washing machine, but I don’t think Rambo would like that much. Rambo never lets his teeth out of his sight cause he likes them so much.
We had lots of fun and really didn’t want to go to bed Thursday night. Mom, Dad, and Auntie were really tired, but we kept them up all night. We also got quite the lecture Friday morning about manners and how we needed to let the old humans get their sleep and all. Well, Dad slept. My Dad can sleep through my very realistic car alarm noise AND Cleo’s siren noise AND Tyson Parker yelling ‘Come-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer!!!!’ at the top of his lungs. Nope, Mom doesn’t yell at us for being that loud. She says if she can talk and express her feelings, so can we. I’m still getting used to Mom. I still expect the towel to be tossed over me. But Mom never has and she promised me she never will. The rest of Friday was pretty quiet since all the humans were so tired. We, me and my siblings and the Weenie Cousins, were all good Friday night and slept like angels and Mom was so proud of us we got cheerios for breakfast Saturday morning!! Mom and Dad told me there is something today called a ‘going away party’ for all of us. Mom said there would be lots of humans for us to meet and she promised me they’d be nice, too. I’m just waiting for them to show up and trying to decide if I’m going to be shy or brave when they come in to talk to us. Mom’s sitting in front of the table our travel cages are on in her wheelchair so people have to pass her to get to us. She keeps us safe that way. I’m still getting used to Mom, but I do love her.
A little after 5:30pm the guests began to arrive and they came in here after giving bags of human goodies to Auntie Pug and Uncle Johnnie. The first to come in was our cousin Torie. She’s pretty cool. It was the first time she’s really ever seen me. I’m very shy around humans. Before my forever Mom they all hurt me or scared me and I’m still learning that the humans in my life now are very different from the ones I knew before. Cousin Torie talked to me and told me I was handsome, too. I was just a little nervous, but Mom kept telling me I was ok, so I did relax a little.
Next to visit us was Auntie Eileen. She’s the love of Tyson Parkers life and he has the funniest flirt fit you’ve ever seen when he sees her! Auntie Eileen whistled at him and talked to him and he just went ‘happy nuts’, as Mom calls it. I just think Tyson Parker is really weird. We got to meet Helen and my Cousin Derrick and a couple of new people, too. I actually had fun until the Texas Chainsaw Massacre happened. That’s what Mom called it, anyway. She isn’t sure how it happened and neither is Auntie Eileen, but it happened. Tyson Parker, who was attempting to grow two tail feathers, pulled one of them and got blood everywhere! Mostly on Auntie Eileen, who was just happy Tyson Parker was ok. Mom yanked Tyson Parkers two tail feathers out to stop the bleeding and he was fine. Mom also dumped him in the bathroom sink to clean him up. Auntie had to find a clean shirt and they did their best to clean up Auntie Pugs blanket, too. It was a mess! But, Tyson Parker was fine and Mom said that’s what was important. AsaMina, Mom said, is giving her grey hair. I honestly can’t see a single one, but Mom’s never lied to me before, so I assume they’re there somewhere. AsaMina was supposed to lay egg four today and hasn’t. I guess she’s the next to get poked, but Mom will do that tomorrow.
After Tyson Parker was cleaned up and stuffed back into his travel cage, Mom asked me to show Auntie Eileen my anti-gravity boots. That means Mom wants me to show someone how I can walk upside down on the roof of my travel cage and do summersaults and back flips. Mom says I’ve got tons of talent and she loves my anti gravity boots, so I showed off a bit for Auntie Eileen who was just as proud of me as Mom was and told me so tons of times! It amazes me how some humans are so nice and some are so mean, you know? Well, it’s my bed time and tomorrow is another adventure and another day of our Exodus, so I guess I better get some sleep.
May 25, 2008: Tyson Parker is none the worse for wear from his tail feather incident. He’s fine and back to his normal self. Today has been rather quiet with not much going on. The excitement of the day was that we discovered how well trained Cousin Rambo is! This evening Tyson Parker yelled to Rambo, “COME-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!!” and Rambo did! At top speed, too! He bounced and barked at Tyson Parker and Tyson Parker sat at the bottom of his travel cage and whistled and called back. I find my Weenie Cousins rather entertaining and I just love to watch them. I didn’t join in in calling Cousin Rambo, just Tyson Parker and Cleo did. It was fun to watch. Cousin Rambo and Tyson Parker had a good hours worth of conversation. I didn’t understand most of it, but it seemed to be a good thing. I also entertained Mom several times with my anti-gravity boots. She fed me tortilla chips from her lunch as a reward. I do love those tortilla chips!
AsaMina didn’t ever drop egg number four. Her body seems to have stopped at three, which is making Mom even happier than Tyson Parker discovering he can call Weenie Cousins in their language into our room. Mom did a really weird exam on AsaMina’s bottom this morning to see if she was hiding any eggs. Apparently she wasn’t and AsaMina wasn’t happy about the exam either. I think I’m really happy I’m a boy. Cleo told me that only girls lay eggs and Mom only pokes the girls in rude places like that. I take that back, I’m ‘definitely’ happy I’m not a girl! We were so exhausted last night from playing with our Weenie Cousins that all eight of us fell right to sleep.
May 26, 2008. It’s a rainy morning today. I think Dad was going to go mow something called a barn lawn, but he’s still here. I guess you can’t do such things in the rain. AsaMina still hasn’t dropped egg four and Mom took out her little dish of three eggs this morning. AsaMina isn’t missing them or asking for them and according to what Mom said that means she’s not nesting and doesn’t want them. Mom also told me that is a good thing so her body stays healthy for this long trip. It’s Memorial Day today and Mom said it should be another quiet day. She let us each take turns looking at her computer screen so we could see and hear her read the messages our bird friends left for us on Bird Channel. We also got to dictate to her what we wanted to say to them. Mom does a pretty good job understanding us. I’m glad she’s keeping me forever. I do like it here with her and my siblings. Yeah, even weird Tyson Parker. He tried to make a date with me this morning. I told him what Mom told me to tell him, “Go sit on an ice cube!” I said it in tiel, but Mom understood and more importantly so did Tyson Parker. The Weenie Cousins just got up. Tyson Parker is calling to Cousin Rambo already—but is being ignored so far. There is human food in the other room.
Dad and Auntie and Uncle all went out to do outside human things today. Auntie and Uncle came home just a bit ago and the Weenie Cousins got very excited to see their Mom and Dad. Cousin Rambo came flying in our room to tell Tyson Parker that Auntie and Uncle were home and Auntie Pug yelled at Rambo for being so loud. It really wasn’t Rambo’s fault, Tyson Parker is just as loud as Rambo is and Tyson Parker didn’t get reprimanded at all! But, Rambo stopped barking and sat down below Worthington and AsaMina’s travel cage to see if my Auntie Pug had any further instructions for him. While Rambo waited, Worthington looked down on our cousin and said to him, “Good boy, Pretty Bird!!” Mom about died laughing and I was really surprised, too. Worthington has never said ‘good boy’ before. Mom sure rewarded him for saying ‘good boy’ and telling Rambo he was good for listening to my Auntie Pug! I think I need to learn to speak human, too. But then, on the other hand, I do get lots of praise and treats for turning summersaults for Mom and Mom tells me that of her 14 tiels, it’s only me, lucky number 13, that can do summersaults and back flips. She says that makes me extra special. I guess Mom really is going to keep me and take me with her and my siblings on this Exodus to Washington. I’m glad.
May 27, 2008 and it’s Vet Day, according to Mom. At 2 in the afternoon Dad put us in his truck to go to the vet. I’ve been before and it wasn’t fun. The vet poked and prodded me in rude places and I didn’t like it at all. But Mom did say that this was important for me so I could come with her and my siblings, so I did my best to behave. Dad puts me and Cleo in first cause our travel cages go in the middle of the seat. Then he puts Tyson Parker behind his seat and AsaMina and Worthington behind Mom’s seat. We prefer to be in this order and Mom’s really strict with Dad about that so we’re as comfortable as can be. Mom told me that I was the smartest of the flock cause I was sitting on the bottom of my travel cage so that Dad wouldn’t knock me off my perch when he stopped too fast or took a corner too fast. Mom talked to us and skritched Worthington on the way to the vet. We had to wait in the waiting room for a bit, but it’s always quite entertaining. There was a not too happy dog in one of the vets rooms. I don’t know what they were doing to him, but I was sure hoping they wouldn’t try it on me! Mom skritched Worthington and AsaMina to keep them calm and she talked to me and Cleo who got to sit on the bench with Dad while we waited. Mom took pictures of us, too. She figures if I miss anything in my journal, her pictures will cover it. I’m glad she’s not using a flash on her camera. They make me see spots.
When we went into the exam room a bit later Dad put me and Cleo on the bench, Tyson Parker on the vet table and Worthington and AsaMina were on top of Cleo and my travel cages just long enough for Mom to take more pictures. Mom takes lots of pictures. Then the vet came in. It was a new vet. Mom said our Dr. Nancy did something called ‘retire’, so we had Dr. Hayden. He was nice until he picked me up. But, I didn’t go first, Tyson Parker did. Then Mom grabbed AsaMina and Worthington and then Cleo. I got to be last cause I don’t like being held and Mom never pushes the issue, so I do bite. I don’t mean to, I just don’t know how else to say ‘put me down, please’ in human. Mom told Dr. Hayden how to catch me and pick me up. I was much politer than Worthington. I can’t tell you what he said cause it wasn’t nice. He said it all in tiel, so I understood and Mom understood. I think the vet understood, but you don’t need to hear such words. Definitely not nice! My tummy got poked, Dr. Hayden peeked and poked my bottom, examined my feathers, examined my nose, and then handed me to Mom who preened a few sheaths off my head feathers since I was already restrained and not very happy, and then I got put back in my travel cage. That was it, not too bad, just not nice either. All this means I definitely get to go with Mom and the flock tomorrow! We’re headed to a place called Amarillo first. We’ll camp there over night, I’m told. I also heard we get to visit family in Oklahoma, too. I guess I ought to end here for the night and prepare myself for tomorrow, I heard it’s going to be a LONG day! May 28, 2008: Well, Mom had us up at 6:27am. She and Dad kinda flew from here to there. I didn’t see my Weenie Cousins, but I did hear them. Mom said that was so Rambo wouldn’t bounce us and startle Worthington. He’s jumpier than I am! Once Dad had his truck stuffed with all our stuff and his and Mom’s, too; he stuffed us in in the proper order- Worthington and AsaMina behind Mom, Cleo next to them, Me next to Cleo and Tyson Parker behind Dad. Auntie Pug and Uncle Johnnie said good bye to all of us and held up our Weenie Cousins so we could squeak bye to them, too. I thought we’d be right back like yesterday after the vet visit, but Mom said we were going to Amarillo today and wouldn’t see our Weenie Cousins again—at least not for a long long time. I did squeak to my Cousins cause I do like them an awful lot. They’re kinda funny looking for tiels, but that’s ok in my book.
We drove to a place called Oklahoma City first. I rode at the bottom of my cage so Dad’s sharp corners and fast stops wouldn’t knock me off my perch. But Dad did good and I got up and watched from my comfy corner in my travel cage. Mom had told me that when she went to this place called Washington when she was a kid she counted skunks she smelled. I’m not sure what a skunk is or what one smells like, so I opted to count birds. Every time I saw one up in the sky I’d squeak twice quickly and Mom or Dad would see the bird and tell me I’m a good boy. I guess you do need to count something on the way to Washington.
We went to see my Grandpa Daddy Bill first, but he wasn’t home. Dad was disappointed, but we went on to Auntie’s Jan and Sherie next. They weren’t home either, but we sat in the driveway for a bit so Mom could make her lunch. After Mom had made her lunch we headed for Amarillo. The roads were bumpy and a bit spooky at times, but Mom kept telling us it was ok, so I wasn’t scared. I counted birds. Mom and Dad were very impressed with me when I began to squeak that there was a bird and they couldn’t see one. I kept squeaking and squeaking and Dad saw the bird first. It was a car with the license plate ‘D Byrd’. Dad laughed.
Mom told Dad that watching us watch the road was the best thing cause she was seeing things she wouldn’t have seen otherwise. Mom said it was like seeing the world with new eyes—well, at least seeing Oklahoma and Texas with new eyes. She said that’s what ‘Birds Eye View’ must mean.
Mom took pictures, of course, of us watching the world go by at 70 mph down I-40. Cleo watched a lot of the scenery through her yellow CD case guard. Mom asked her what it looked like. Cleo told her all about it, but in tiel. I’m not sure if Mom understood or not, but when Cleo got done telling Mom I wished I had a yellow CD case, too. Mine’s purple and pink and not pointing in the right direction to look through. But, it was ok. I don’t think I’d have seen so many birds if I was looking through the CD case like Cleo.
Mom got pictures of the leaning water tower of Brittan, Texas and the largest Cross in the world also in Brittan, Texas. They’re human tourist things and weren’t of much interest to me at all. Mom said we had to have a couple of human tourist pictures since she couldn’t photograph the birds I was counting. They were too fast for her.
We were staying in a place called Motel 6 in Amarillo off of something called Exit 73—I got to help Mom and Dad count exits! Mom asked me to help look for her. I didn’t know what a ‘Exit 73’ was, but I looked anyway. We get to have Camp Cockatiel on a bed tonight cause there is no room on the desk for us. It’s not long enough. I’m pretty comfortable and basically ok. All that bouncing around made me tired aside from just getting up too early in the morning today. Mom said we sleep here tonight and head to a place called Flagstaff tomorrow. We’ll have Camp Cockatiel there tomorrow night.

Just when you thought it was safe---The Return of The Asha Chornicles

2008-05-20T06:41:00.002-07:00

(To see pictures of the kids adventures during this move, I'm posting my pictures on Flickr the pictures will come up on 'thumbnail', click on the word 'details' next to it --by my avatar--and the pictures with descriptions will come up)

The Asha Chronicles Part 15
Birds In Space
Houston, I Think We Have A Problem
By Julie Stilwell and Timothy Graham

The Feathered Friends had been very busy lately helping out their fellow birds as well as their human friends and they felt the need for a vacation. The four had gathered at the home of Asha, a blue-font Amazon, in Byron Georgia. They were sitting out on her screen porch, sun bathing and trying to decide where to go to take some well-deserved time off. As usual, they were having a hard time reaching an agreement.
Asa, a cinnamon pearl split to pied cockatiel, had expressed an interest in doing some mountain climbing. The orange-winged Amazon BabyGirl thought that idea was silly since it involved way too much work. She was more interested in taking a sea cruise. The sky blue budgie Cecil (who had more attitude and personality than his little body could contain) thought that a trip to Europe would be fun. As usual, Asha saw that she, as the most forceful personality of the group, would have to make the final decision.
“Look, I have a good friend named Angel who lives in Florida,” she began. “Why don’t we go down there and take some time on the beach and if we feel like taking off for somewhere else, we can.” Asha, the voice of reason, ended.
That idea met everybirdie’s approval and the Four took flight and headed south for a relatively short trip to the Atlantic coast of Florida where Angel, an African Grey, welcomed the four and put on a nice spread of veggies, fruits, and juice. Angel’s house was near the beach and for couple of days the five spent most of their time lying in the sand and flying out over the surf.
On day three of their Florida vacation Asa suggested that they take a tour of the area. They took to the air and began to slowly fly south to see the sights. After about an hour they spotted a strange sight in the distance.
“What is that thing?” asked BabyGirl. “It looks like a big candle.”
“Well, we’ll never figure it out this far away,” said Cecil. “Let’s get closer.”
The five birds flew closer to the object and noticed that there were a large number of humans gathered around it. They seemed to be working on the object for some unknown reason.
“It sure is tall,” said Angel. “I’ve never seen anything like it.”
“Let’s fly up to the top of it and maybe we can figure it out,” suggested BabyGirl and the rest readily agreed.
Soon they were perched on top of the tall object. From their perch they could see for miles all around. Several humans were working around the only doorway into the object. They soon finished what they were doing and walked away down a walkway to a tall structure that was attached to the object.
“Look, they left that door open,” said Asa. “I bet we could get inside.”
“Do you think that is a good idea?” asked Cecil. “What if those humans come back?”
“Quit being such a worry birdie,” said Asha. “Let’s take a look.”
With curiosity having a death grip upon them, the five flew into the object and found a cramped room filled with computers and chairs. Suddenly they heard a sound outside and noticed that several humans in strange clothing were headed towards the door.
“Quick, find somewhere to hide!” said BabyGirl and they scurried towards a small door that led to what appeared to be a closet. They crammed themselves into the closet and shut the door just as the humans began entering the small cramped room.
“I guess we better just wait here until they decide to leave,” said Angel logically. “They might get mad if they see we have sneaked into whatever this thing is.”
The five settled down and played some word games until they got sleepy. Heads under wings and sitting shoulder to shoulder they settled down and took a nap. They were suddenly jolted awake by the sound of a large explosion and a sudden weight descending upon their feathered chests.
“Darn!” said Asha. “It feels like a human has sat on me! What on Earth is going on?”
None of the others were able to answer as they were too busy trying to breathe. But as suddenly as the invisible weight appeared it went away.
“That feels better.” said Asa. “But what is this?” she shouted as she suddenly began floating towards the top of the closet. “I can fly without flapping my wings! It feels like I have no weight whatsoever!”
The five birds were very confused as they tried to orient themselves.
“I don’t think I like this at all,” said Cecil nervously. “First we weigh too much and now we weigh nothing at all. What the heck have we gotten into here?”
“We better try to find those humans and ask them what is going on,” said Asha, once again being the voice of reason.
The five had a hard time getting the door open while weightless but they finally got it open enough for Cecil to slip through. He scouted out the immediate surroundings and reported back to the rest of his flock still secluded in the closet.
“Three of the humans in those strange outfits are sitting in chairs just in front of us,” he said. “Does anyone want to go and talk to them?”
“I’ll go,” Asa volunteered. She slipped out of the closet and tried waddling to the front of the room. It was difficult to walk under the weightless conditions, but she finally figured out how to move forward without flying off towards the ceiling. She eventually got to the front of the room and began using her beak to pull herself up the leg of the human sitting in the front chair.
“Yes Houston, Shuttle Atlantis is a go for final orbital insertion,” the human said. “What was that last question you asked?”
A voice came from out of the air. “Shuttle Atlantis our instruments show that you are about two pounds overweight. Did one of you bring something on board that was not approved?”
“Negative Houston,” the man in the strange uniform said as Asa finally reached the arm of his chair.
“Excuse me sir, could I please ask you a question?” Asa said in her most polite and lady like tone of voice.
“What the heck was that?” the human asked. “Who said that? You all know better than chattering on the radio while we’re doing an orbital insertion!”
“Sorry to disturb you, but I do have an important question,” Asa said as she tried to get the human’s attention by biting on his arm. The material of his clothing was very tough and she was unable to get a good grip on it.
The human finally saw the strange creature on his chair and shouted “What kind of games are you idiots playing! What is this thing? Some kind of new robot?”
“I assure you I am no robot,” Asa said indignantly. “I am a cockatiel and I want to know where I am and how do I get back to Angel’s house. I am quite hungry and am tired of this lack of weight.”
The human was sputtering and stuttering but seemed unable to make a coherent sound. The two other humans sitting nearby were staring at the small brown bird and seemed equally unable to say anything intelligent. The voice named Houston kept asking what was happening but nobody seemed to be paying it any attention. Meanwhile the other birds had decided to leave the closet and join Asa. Asha tried to fly up to where Asa stood but, due to the lack of gravity, overshot her target and landed on a large group of instruments in front of the human. She latched onto a toggle switch and looked back at the room.
“Who is in charge here? We would like to go back to Angel’s house. Can you help us?” Asha asked, also utilizing her best and most lady like manners and tone of voice.
The human in the front chair had finally regained some semblance of composure and asked in a voice full of shock and disbelief, “Are you birds?”
“That would appear to be obvious,” said Asa. “And I suppose you are humans?”
The human ignored Asa’s attempt at sarcasm, “How in heaven’s name did you get here?”
“Well, why don’t you tell us just what ‘here’ is,” said Asha.
“Commander,” broke in one of the other humans. “Are those birds really talking or is this some kind of trick. Is NASA giving us some kooky test or something?”
“I have no idea Simmons,” said the commander. “Look you bird, or whatever you are. This is the Shuttle Atlantis and we are currently 180 miles above the surface of the Earth. We are in the middle of changing our orbit so that we can do repairs on the Hubble Space Telescope. Now, would you kindly tell us what you are doing here?”
“Well, we were on vacation,” said Asa simply. “We saw this big thing and decided to check it out and then all heck broke loose. What is an orbit?”
“Forget that Asa,” said BabyGirl. “Take a look out that window. I don’t think we are in Florida anymore.”
The five birds turned their heads towards a large window in the front of the room and saw the round globe of the planet Earth off in the distance and floating in a sea of blackness.
“Oh Yeah!” said Asha. “This is way cool! I’ve seen this before. Dad watches this stuff all the time!” She turned towards the commander. “You must be Captain Kirk!”
“Captain Kirk?!” the commander shouted. “I’m not Captain Kirk. I’m Commander Smithson.”
“No, really,” said Asha. “This has to be the Enterprise. I’ve seen it on television all the time. Dad’s crazy about this show. Where’s Spock? I like Spock.”
“Simmons, will you please gather these varmits and stow them away somewhere so I can complete our orbital insertion,” the commander said. “I have no idea how I will explain this to Houston.”
The birds went back to their closet without too much trouble after Simmons promised to bring them so food soon. When he left Cecil asked Asha “What is this Captain Kirk stuff? Do you know this guy?”
“Sure,” said Asha. “Like I said Dad watches this stuff all the time. He’s what they call a Treker. You remember those two firemen back in California? This is all a television show about space ships and Klingons and Vulcans.”
“You mean we really aren’t up in a space ship circling the planet?” asked BabyGirl.
“Heck no,” said Asha positively. “How the heck would five birds get on board a spaceship. Those things are huge. They would never allow us to sneak on board one of those things. They’re just filming a television show and we happened to get caught up in it. No problem. I think we ought to go look around. It might be fun.”
“But what about us being weightless,” said Asa. “How do they do that?”
“They can do anything on television,” said Asha with a grin.
“But that guy told us to stay here,” said Cecil. “He is supposed to bring us some food. I’m hungry.”
“Well, maybe we can find it sooner,” said Asha as she headed for the door. “Let’s go!”
The five turned away from the front of the ship and found a stairway leading down. They hung onto the rail and pulled themselves down the stairs. To the right they saw a room with four more humans sitting in chairs. They went in the other direction and found a small room containing a cage with a small monkey in it.
“Hey, it’s a monkey,” said Asa. “I wonder if he can talk?” The five birds tried to get the monkey to talk but he couldn’t say anything. Eventually they were able to get him to understand hand gestures and discovered that he had been loaded on board just before the ship had taken off and he had no idea why he was there or what was going on. He did make it clear that his name was Astro and that he would like to be let out of his cage and Asa took care of that without too much trouble.
“Any idea if where the food is?” Cecil asked astro. The monkey gestured to follow him and he quickly led them to another small room containing boxes of tubes. He took one of the tubes and removed the cap. He squeezed some paste on his hand and licked it with a big smile on his face. He handed the tube to Cecil who squeezed a small amount on one of his talons and took a bite.
“Yuck!” Cecil said with a grimace. “This is awful! Aren’t there any veggies around here?” The birds tried all of the different varieties of the tubes and found none of them worth eating although Astro was having the time of his life squeezing food all over the floor.
“Hey, do you think we’re on television now?” asked BabyGirl as she made an effort to primp her feathers.
“Don’t worry deary, Ben will not be disappointed,” said Asha.
“Well, I just want to look good,” said BabyGirl with a bit of a pout. “We can’t all be Divas and look good all the time!”
“Look, I don’t like being a complainer but I am really hungry,” said Cecil as his tummy rumbled softly. “Do you think there is any way we can get some good food around here?”
“Well, I’m up for a bit of exploring if you guys are. I’ve never been on a television set before.” said Angel as she headed toward a closed door at the far end of the galley.
The five waddle-glided across the floor to the new and mysterious door, upon reaching it, they discovered it was, of course, locked. With a quick jiggle and tug, the Convicts Chick easily unlocked it. Inside stood fresh veggies of all sorts in large glass containers with funny rubber gloves sticking out into the room.
“Why didn’t they just bring us here in the first place?” asked Cecil in an exasperated tone.
“Maybe humans think tubes of goo are better than fresh veggies?” comment Angel.
“Um, there is something funny about those veggies, Cecil.” the voice of reason, Asha, chimed in.
“I don’t see anything wrong with them?” said Cecil with a beak full of rubber glove.
“Um, hate to agree with Asha here, since my tummy is pretty empty, too, but I think she’s right. There’s something not quite right about those veggies.” said Asa, also chiming in as the voice of reason.
But, it was too late. As soon as the air hit the broccoli sample in the case it exploded into a neon green powder. At the exact same moment, out of apparently nowhere, two very large, very black bunny rabbits hopped into the center of the case as the green dust settled, snow-globe style, around them.
“AHHHHHHH!” shouted Cecil as he jumped back hard and fast enough to bump into the wall on the far side of the lab room.
Just then, sensing the possibility of freedom, the bunnies, who were now more green than black, forced their oversized bodies through the opening Cecil had chewed into the rubber glove. It was then that the real chaos began. Bunny One, who like Bunny Two, was completely covered in broccoli dust, hit the floor, left a large green splat, and bounced nearly 6 feet in the air due to the lack of gravity and almost hit Angel in the process. Bunny Two left an equally impressive green splat on the pristine white floor, but only managed a bounce of 4 feet, nicking the tip of Cecils blue tail and leaving a small green smudge.
“Ewwwwwww!!” grimaced Cecil as he shook the green broccoli dust off his tail feathers.
“We’ve got to catch those Bunnies before Captain Kirk finds out!” shouted Asha a bit louder than necessary.
At that moment Astro entered the little lab room and began dancing and playing with the bunnies. It was a mid air ballet that would have made Borishnikov, Abbot and Costello very proud. As Asha swooped this way with the large beaker, Asa swooped that way with an equally as large beaker. Missing Bunny One and Bunny Two, they bumped into one another, sending each other into mid air gravityless loop-dee-loops. Cecil dove like an Eagle after a morsel of fresh fish, hoping to herd Bunny One into the cabinet Angel had just pulled open. Astro, seeing something shiny inside the cabinet, entered it.
“GOT HIM!!!” shouted Angel as she slammed the cabinet door. Asa, lock master extraordinaire, locked the cabinet tight with Astro safely and very securely ensconced inside.
The ballet continued. Asha crashed into BabyGirl, who then was sent floating helplessly backward and then sideways into Asa, who then bumped into Bunny Two, sending it into the glass medicine style cabinet she’d just picked the lock on as Angel held the door open.
“GOT ANOTHER ONE!!!!” shouted Angel as she slammed the glass door closed and Asa locked the still green broccoli powder coated bunny securely inside.
“One more to go!” said Asha obviously as the five feathered friends all dove simultaneously for Bunny One. Seeing it was out numbered, Bunny One ducked into a bread box style experiment station.
“GOT HIM!!!” shouted Cecil as he, Asa, Asha, BabyGirl and Angel all slammed their nearly weightless bodies into the lid at the same time in order to close Bunny One securely into the box. Asa, for the third time in 6 minutes, securely locked another lock.
“Now what?” said Angel, slightly breathlessly.
“We clean up.” said Asa as she began to upright the few containers they’d tipped over.
“It sure would have helped if we knew where on this ship Scotty was! We sure could have used that teleporter of his to get rid of those bunnies!” said Asha as she found a towel and mopped up a bit of spilt water.
With the room looking as it had when they entered, Cecil asked once again to no bird in particular, “You know, I’m still hungry. As a matter of fact, I’m doubly hungry now!”
“You should have just eaten a tube while you had the chance.” said Asa as she found another towel and tried to mop up some of the mess left behind by Astro.
Asha and BabyGirl sat on the back of a chair while Asa, Cecil and Angel finished cleaning up Astros mess as best as they could.
“So, do you really think Scotty is here somewhere with that teleporter machine?” asked Angel.
“He has to be. He works for Captain Kirk and the Federation.” said Asha.
“Well, let’s go ask the Captain where on this ship he is and maybe Scotty can beam us back to Angels house.” said Asa as the five climbed up the stairs and made their way back to the command deck. There they found an obviously angry Commander Smithson talking to an equally angry human on a television screen.
“You are trying to tell me that five birds have somehow stowed away on a space shuttle?” the face on the screen said with sarcasm dripping from his voice.
“That is exactly what I am saying sir,” said the commander. “What should I do about this?”
Ignoring the commander’s question the human on the screen continued his rant “And not only are they birds they are talking birds who think you are Captain Kirk from Star Trek?”
“That is true, sir,” Smithson said in a quiet voice. “Again, what should I do about this?”
“I would suggest you quit smoking whatever it is you have been smoking and call me back when you sober up,” shouted the human in the screen. “Either that or declare yourself unfit for service and put Simmons on!”
“Simmons, will you please tell the General about the birds,” Smithson said with a sigh as he turned his face from the General on the screen to the astronaut on his right.
“No need to go to the trouble” Asha said as she glided to the front of the cabin. “Hey General, what is the title of this episode and where the heck is Scotty? Maybe he can just beam us back to Angels house with the teleporter. If it’s not too much trouble.” Asha added quickly.
The human in the viewscreen looked at Asha as if she were a snake that had just jumped out of his breakfast cereal. He tried to speak a couple of times but was unable to. He looked offscreen and said “Will the rest of you take a look at this and please tell me I am crazy and the shuttle is not infested with talking birds?”
“What is the big deal?” asked Cecil. “You all act like you’ve never heard of talking parrots before. Where are all the cameras? We want to look good for the close-ups.”
“How in heaven’s name did you all get on my shuttle?” the general shouted.
“We walked in the door,” said Angel. “It wasn’t that hard. Were we not supposed to do that? We’re sorry if we’ve caused a problem.”
“Well, I’m going to cause a problem if I don’t get something good to eat and soon!” said Cecil who could contain himself no longer.
“Commander, would you please remove those creatures from the command deck while I go and talk to the President,” the General said. “And while you are at it, why don’t you find your guests something to eat?”
Commander Smithson herded the birds back down to the galley where they found the cases of empty food tubes exactly where the five had left them and still empty. The Commander made it clear that all the food they had was in those tubes. He made the birds promise not to leave the room until he returned and went back up the ladder to face the wrath of the General.
“This is awful,” said Cecil. “I want to go back to Angel’s where we can get some good food.”
“I agree,” said Angel. “Where is that door we came in through?”
The birds climbed back up the ladder and found the entry door but discovered it was securely locked.
“Well, Convicts Chick, do your magic,” said Cecil with a gentlemanly bow.
Despite her best efforts, Asa was unable to get the door to open. “It looks like we are stuck here,” she finally said slightly breathless. “I guess we’ve got to wait until they finish filming this episode before we can go home.”
“What a vacation!” said Cecil sarcastically as he tossed his head back and flapped his wings ever so slightly.
The five decided to wander onto the command deck yet again and see what was happening with the show. They saw that Commander Smithson was again in a discussion with the General.
“The President has agreed that it would be best for us to keep this bird incident as quiet as possible,” said the General. “Lock those creatures somewhere that they won’t cause any trouble and get on with the mission. That telescope has to be repaired or NASA will be in for a public relations disaster that will probably affect our funding. Do I make myself quite clear?”
“Quite,” the Commander said. “Quite. OK, Simmons you have shown yourself totally unable to control those birds why don’t you give it a try Sanchez. Pack them into a storage chute and lock it tight. I don’t want to see or hear anything from them until we are back at Kennedy.”
The third human on the control deck stood up and made his way towards the birds.
“Do we fight or do we give in?” asked Angel.
“Let’s go along with them for now,” said Asha. “If we have to, Asa can get us out.”
The five birds meekly went along with Sanchez who placed them back into the storage chute they had endured during liftoff. They settled in for a long wait and spent the time playing games and napping. Angel got to know the other birds better and they came to enjoy the company of the Grey. After what seemed like an eternity, Asha suggested that Asa give the door lock a try. It didn’t take the well-named Convicts Chick very long to open the door. The five quietly exited and headed for the command deck to see what was going on. Once again, they found the Commander in a discussion with the General.
“We’ve taken four space walks General and it all comes down to one fact,” the Commander began. “The tool that we needed to fix the telescope was broken by accident. It is required for the very exacting work we have to do to make the repairs and without it we cannot do the job. Nothing else is small enough to get into the guts of the telescope. I’m sorry, but we can’t do a thing.”
“Don’t give up so easily Captain,” said Asha as she rushed to the front of the room. “We can’t let those dirty Klingons win that easily! I’ve got just what you need to do the job.”
“What the heck is that crazy bird talking about?” roared the General.
“I thought I told you to lock them away!’ roared the Commander to Sanchez.
“And I thought you were a hero Captain!” roared Asha three octaves higher than any of the three humans. “I guess I was wrong. Maybe Picard was the better Captain!”
“Wait a second!” shouted Sanchez. “I won’t sit here and let you say Picard was a better Captain than Kirk. That bald idiot was nothing more than a glorified diplomat.”
“Sanchez, have you lost your mind?” shouted the General.
“Wait a second,” said the Commander. “What did you mean when you said you have what we need to do the job?”
“Finally,” said Asha with a deep sigh and pity that humans had a tendency to be so slow at getting the point of things. “My friend Asa here is an expert at manipulating things in close quarters. All you have to do is fix her up a cockatiel-sized space suit, tell her what you need done and she’ll do the job.”
“You aren’t planning on listening to that idiot are you Commander?” asked the General.
“Right now, I’d listen to anybody,” said the Commander. “Sanchez, see about fitting this bird into a space suit and let’s get out there and finish this job.”
After some quick costume work and some instructions from the other astronauts, Asa went on the first-ever parrot space walk. The other birds watched on the monitor screen as she slipped into the innards of the telescope and easily made the necessary repairs.
“You know these new Hi-Def sets make it look almost real,” Asha said with amazement.
“You know what,” said BabyGirl. “I’m beginning to think it is real.”
“Are you trying to tell me you believe that we are really hundreds of miles above the Earth’s surface in a space craft while Asa is walking around in outer space repairing a million dollar telescope?”
“I guess you’re right,” said BabyGirl. “I just hope they tell us when this episode will air on tv.”
“Yeah, I want Mom to make a copy of it,” said Cecil, with a hint of pride in his voice.
The remainder of the mission went pretty smoothly after Asa completed the repairs. The shuttle returned to Earth uneventfully, stopping at the far end of the runway so the birds could be released away from the prying eyes of the press.
“I want to thank you for all you did for NASA and your country,” the President told the five birds after the landing. “I would appreciate it if you kept this entire incident a secret. But if you ever need anything, you can call on us.”
The five slipped out the door and flew back to Angel’s house where they dove into a huge meal of fresh vegetables and fruit. When they were finally finished they gathered in a nearby tree to discuss the previous few days.
“You know, they almost had me believing the whole thing was real,” said Asha. “But I knew it was television when I saw the guy they called the president. I swear he was the guy who played ‘Q’ in the Next Generation.”
“Well, real or not, it was fun!” said Asa.
Yeah, you got to keep that little space suit,” pouted Cecil. “You get all the good toys.”

Pine Cones and Shoulder Pads

2008-05-15T12:17:00.004-07:00

Today was THE big day. The kids ran out of their Birdie Mush yesterday, so for breakfast today they got a mountainous dish of nutriberries (mountainous because they are confined to the travel cages and Double Trouble can't hit me with any of them---AsaMina has a wicked back hand and hits me 9 times out of 10 (the one time she misses, I remember to duck!))

And, the got PINE CONES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As you can see, AsaMina is comfortable and ready to travel.

And, we have SHOULDER PADS !!! Ok, apparently my hands are shakier than they feel tonight, but you'll get the idea. The shoulder pads for the Ozark Mountain Fly the Coop Handbag wrap on and off around the quick links and thin straps and provide plenty of padding so the straps and quick links don't dig in to your shoulders. This particular bag is a bright light blue despite the light pictures (like I said, shakey hands tonight!). This blue bag is available for sale now (as is the green one), but won't be posted in my store till after my move.

Have Granola Bar Will Travel

2008-05-12T07:52:00.007-07:00

Yesterday was the BIG day. The day the kids cages get scrubbed within an inch of their paint, the toys get cinched down to the bars, perches get anchored so they can't shift, seed catchers get removed, and cages get wheeled out of the room to be covered with tarps which are then secured in place with lots of bungee cords.

The kids? What about the kids! The poor little angels also get packed. But, obviously not in their big cages! They get uncerimoniously stuffed into their travel cages, where they'll live till we get to Washington. They have to make sure they can get around, are eating and drinking so as not to give me grey hair (or more grey hair as the case may be), and feel as comfortable as they can in such a small space.

Each has their own travel cage except Double Trouble. AsaMina and Worthington are sharing air space. They're still processing this concept. AsaMina whacked Worthington with her tail last night and startled him. Both have thier own seperate big cages and this is their first time sharing air space. It's been interesting: "Worthington Israel Wentworth!!!! LEAVE ASAMINA'S TAIL AHH-LONE!!!!" "ASAMINA SURA SARAH!!!! [she knows she's in trouble if 'Sarah', the English translation of her 'Sura', is tacked onto the end of her name] QUIT BREATHING ON YOUR BROTHER!!!!" And, thus far it's been over 24 hours they've been confined together. Hopefully it'll get smoother as they are stuck together till we get to Washington.

What about the granola bar? Well, that's a story and a half......

Four years ago, this June 1, we moved from New Hampshire to Arkansas. AsaMina shared air space with her biological little sister Precious (who we lost to an unbelievably massive egg July 2006) . As they've got now, back then they also had several perches with lots of toys all cinched down with zip ties to keep them from swinging around, and each got a special treat normally reserved for Christmas morning, a Sunseed parrot pine cone. A pine cone stuffed to the gills [I think pine cones have gills, don't they?] with special parrot seed, dried friuts and dried veggies. My kids just LOVE these pine cones and look forward to them every year. They were thrilled to get them for the car ride back in 2004, too.

Well, AsaMina, my 'perfectly normal' Grandbirdie, sat, yes SAT on her pine cone for 3 days and 1500 miles in the back seat of Hubby's bouncy Chevy Blazer. Yeah, everyones bottom but AsaMina's got sore from watching her sit on that pine cone the whole trip! Well, three times I did have to tell AsaMina, who'd finally given her bottom and feet a break and gotten off the pine cone, that it wasn't nice to sit on her little sister. AsaMina had apparently gotten either bored or uncomfortable with the pine cone and opted for a softer place to sit--her little sister. No Precious wasn't obliging, nor happy with her big sisters decision and swore at her, fortunately in cockatiel, not English.

So, here it is, May 11, 2008, and once again AsaMina finds herself packed into her travel cage, her entire room in boxes and elsewhere (their room is nearly empty at this point). She remembers the move from 4 years ago (no question about that), and since she's packed, the room is packed, she was ready to go.....

But Wait!

Where's my pine cone!!!!

...I don't put in the pine cones till just before we leave so they'll last the trip. So, AsaMina, my resident Einstein, opted for the next best thing, a birdie granola bar I'd just put in her and Worthington's cage. She climbed up on it, got comfortable, and glared at me, "Grandma, I'm ready. Let's go!"

And, for those who don't know the story:

Why I'm "Grandma" to AsaMina and "Mom" to the other 4 Muska-Tiels

Back in 2001, the last birthday gift my Grandparents G&G gave me was Rowena Rose, a beautiful month and a half old Lutino tiel. Rowena Rose was paired up with my Buddie Moose and the pair lived happily ever after......sort of. June 18, 2001 I lost April-Moana, R.B. Birds biological sister to age. I gave R.B. Bird a popcicle stick toy to keep him occupied and busy and hopefully not missing his sister too much. Well, Rowena Rose saw this toy from the cage she shared with Buddie next door and Just HAD to have it!!! She was about 8 months old at this point and female tiels don't mature till they're 2 years old [this part will make lots of sense in a moment]. Rowena Rose spent 2 months doing all she could to figure out how to get out of her cage and over to that toy. She had no interest in R.B. Bird and was happily bonded to Buddie. On a cold New Hampshire early November day, Rowena Rose figured it out. She popped the lock on her cage and tentitively, but excitedly let herself out. (I am watching all this oh-so intently, just in case she needed rescuing from herself). Rowena Rose crossed the three inch gap between her cage and R.B. Birds and let herself in, uninvited, into his cage. R.B. Birds door was open as long as I was home because he stayed put if I asked him to. I'm now on the edge of my seat, positive R.B. Bird wouldn't appreciate the Yellow Alien entering his cage. Rowena Rose went right to the irrisistable toy and for the very first time 'assumed the position' beneith it. Now, she was just 10 months old at this point and what she was doing honestly meant nothing more than "Hi, I'm Rowena Rose and I've been dying to meet you!" R.B. Bird, on the other hand, being exactly 10 years and 4 days older than Rowena Rose, knew exactly what she was doing and went after her. [barely on edge of seat now. More in 'mid-leap and rescue' pose] So, Rowena Rose 'got' the toy and R.B. Bird 'got' Rowena Rose. At two months shy of turning 11 years old, R.B. Bird couldn't produce babies. Rowena Rose wasn't old enough to produce babies. Thanksgiving day we had egg! Then, every other day till there was six of them! Well, no way are any of these gonna hatch, she's not old enough and he's too old....

Miracles do happen! Three days past her due date, on the third day of Hanukkah December 13, 2001 at precisely 5:43am AsaMina Sura popped out of her shell and goosed Rowena Rose in the bottom causing her to leap a good 60 feet in the air inside the tiny nest box. She didn't think the egg would hatch either.

Precious was egg number four. The rest of the eggs were sterile.

So, my Grandbirdies are the result of a jail break. Momma Bird, Rowena Rose, in an unrelated incident, was nicknamed Jail Bird due to her weird habit of running her beak back and forth across her cage bars like the prisoners do in the old movies with tin cups. A friend of mine, knowing AsaMina's story of being, nicknamed her The Convicts Chick. I think that makes me The Bird Lady of Arkansas....er....'Alcatraz'?

And, the winner of the "Name the Huey Kit" Contest Is...

2008-05-07T06:45:00.004-07:00

.....Are you ready?

Are you sure?

First off, I'll tell you the decision process for picking the winners (even the runners up are winners). First, as each name came in I read them out loud to AsaMina and Worthington who sat comfortably on my knees. If they liked the sound of the name, their head feathers would relax (go down) if they didn't like the name their head feathers stood at attention. Several names caused question marks to appear over their heads. Then a bit of un-feathered feedback was explored. The winning name was chosen as 'IT' by all but one or two of the people querried saying it it fit what the bag was originally designed for and it's what you do with the bag.

The winning runner up names, just came in this morning--hence the postponment of this post. The same process was used for both runners up, too. So, without further ado.......

May I get a wing flap please!!! (uh, drum roll would scare the tiels)

The winner is Denise Felton with her Fly the Coop Pack!

The runner up who's name may get mixed in with Denise's is Laurie [Punkinhead] with Ozark Mountain Handbag

And the second runner up, who got my imagination immediately inventing my next invention with some of her names like Pursilla, and Roo Purse which just HAVE to be used for something! My imagination is currently working overtime on a new invention, Laurie [Glassbead].

Ok ladies, go to my store and pick your Apron!

The very first Ozark Mountain Fly The Coop Pack (I think I like that....still debating...) that will appear in my store mid June to July 1 (depending on the trauma of the move, of course) is this Olive Green Hexagon one. It's nearly done in the pictures. I still have to close up the inside seam and make the shoulder pads (velcro won't arrive till Monday, of course).

This first picture is of the pack with the medium straps attached to the back pack loops. The second picture is of the same medium straps, attached end to end, in the purse loops located at either end of the zipper. The third picture is of the Fly the Coop Pack turned inside out so you can view the inside. Side one has one pocket the size of the bag (12x14) in size (it'll be clearer in the store pictures, promise), and a smaller pouch pocket attached to it. Picture four is of the other side of the inside of the Fly the Coop Pack with two patch pockets which will hold a check book sized item and a key loop to hang your keys and cell phone off of so they don't end up at the bottom of the Fly The Coop Pack [never to be seen again!!!!]. On the sides of both inside pictures is views of the bottle pockets. They'll hold a 24 ounce bottle of water or a collapsable umbrella or baby bottles or pens, or..... The last picture is what comes with the Fly the Coop Pack (except the elusive shoulder pads!): three different strap lengths. The shortest ones will work with 6 year old children and on the back of wheelchairs, the medium ones will work with most adults of most body sizes, the larger straps are great for use as purse straps. Also, 4 quick links which can be sinched down so they don't come loose (also great for kids or a heavy bag that gets tossed around a lot). The shoulder pads are removable and will protect your shoulders so the quick links and straps don't dig in to your shoulders.

Congrats Denise, Laurie and Laurie! And thank you to everyone who suggested names. Your help is greatly appreciated and I do wish I had enough aprons to share with everyone as each of you do deserve one for your help and fantastic imaginations.

Self Explanitory Post

2008-05-04T18:52:00.002-07:00

This post needs no introduction and should be very self explanitory. Enjoy!

CHOCOLATE IS A VEGETABLE

Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans. Beans=vegetables.
Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are
plants, which places them in the vegetable category. Thus,
chocolate is a vegetable. To go one step further, chocolate candy
bars also contain milk, which is dairy. So candy bars are a health
food.

Chocolate-covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries
all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it
too slowly.

The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store
in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It’ll take the edge
off your appetite, and you’ll eat less.

If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that
a balanced diet? Don’t they actually counteract each other?

Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look
younger.

Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do today.
That way, at least you’ll get one thing done.

A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Now, isn’t that handy?

If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top
pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated. You
can’t let that happen,
Can You?

Coming Attractions--Part 2-ish

2008-04-30T18:48:00.011-07:00

Ok, this is for all you imaginative and not so imaginative people out there! If you can come up with a name for this bag (in 'Comming Attractions' post below) you will win a

FREE

apron out of my store of your choice. I think I've just run out of name ideas....or the problem is the bag isn't tweeting and whistling, nor does it have feathers.......

Post your ideas and suggestions in either this posts comments or the comments area in the post below.

Oh, winner will be announced in about 2 weeks!

So far, for your viewing pleasure, we have these as suggestions:
1. Earth Purse
2. Huey's Tagalong
3. Huey Pack
4. Fly The Coop bag
5. Better Bag
6. The Weekender Pack
7. All Around Town Pack
8. Tote-A-Long
9. Hue'll love this Bag
10. Hue gotta have this Bag
11. Homemade Everything Bag
12. Hand Sewn Earth Bag
13. Hand Sewn Handbag
14. Sewn in Ameribag
15. Hand Sewn All In One Bag
16. Ozark Mountain Handbag
17. Pursilla
18. Diamond Bag
19. Roo Pouch
20. Wheele Bug
21. Wheelie Purse
22. Camelback Pack
23.Converta Bag
24. Bag and Baggage
25. Bring Me Bag
26. Purse and a Half
27. Pack Purse

Coming Attractions

2008-04-30T10:58:00.012-07:00

Well, my move from Arkansas to Washington is just 4 weeks away. Everything that can be packed is packed and what's left is stuff we need, stuff the movers will pack or stuff that we're packing in Elsie (who is getting treated like the classy lady she is and is being taken in a trailer to Washington so as not to stress out her 22 year old 148,324 mile engine). So, of course I'm just sitting, resting and twiddling my thumbs. Oh, and watching the soaps!

Now, for those of you who know me, you can stop laughing now. You're right, I'm busy and actually pulled out my sewing box and the few supplies that I had in my 'working on it' project box. Which I was conviently using as an end table---sneaky, huh? And began a project that began with the Santa Ana fires in the San Diego area in 2007.

Inspired by one of my bestest friends and the one and only 'Mom-In-Law' to my Cleo, I created what was originally designed to be used as a first aid kit for birds. A bag to keep all you need in an emergency for birdie in one place, ready to grab at a seconds notice. Someone, I can't remember who at the moment, but I think it was another of my bestest friends Dawn who commented that the bag would make a great purse. To which got my mind working (yeah, terrifying, huh?), and I made two more of these bags. One for me to use on my wheelchair as a 'purse', one for Cecils Mom to test out as a bird first aid kit (bestest friends are always great for testing ideas on! -thanks Donna). Then, I made yet one more for a fellow Etsian, Mommyknowsbest (or her medic alert tags), to test out, too. It's her fabulous zipper pulls I'd been attaching to each of the aformentioned bags. The one I made her was and is used as a school backpack for her 6 year old daughter and last I heard it was surviving school, a tug of war with one of her other daughters, AND the 6 year old. So, with one surviving a 6 year old and one surviving me and 5 cockatiels, I feel they're pretty well tested and ready for market!

So, once this move is over I plan on slowly listing 2 or three of these bags for sale and seeing what happens:

Each 12 inch wide, 14 inch tall, 5 inch deep bag features:

-1 elastic topped wallet pocket

-2 cell phone size pockets--will also hold a small day planner

-1 jumbo pocket 12x14 (inches) in size which can hold a note book, important papers, etc

-1 key ring to hang keys or cell phone off of so it doesn't end up at the bottom, never to be seen again

-2 elastic topped pockets that can hold a 16 ounce bottle of water each or pens or umbrella or etc

-each bag is lined with insulation and will actually keep warm stuff warm or cold stuff cold for 3 to 8 hours depending on outside air temps

-each comes with 3 different lengths of straps and 2 shoulder pads to protect your shoulders from the clamp/hooks used to connect the straps to the bag

-The straps can be used as either a back pack or moved to the top loops and used as a purse with either a long strap or a short one.

These bags don't have a name yet and I'd love suggestions! So suggest away!

How to PROPERLY recover from major surgery

2008-04-22T13:47:00.023-07:00

As any of you who read my blog know, I had major surgery on March 11 of this year. Major enough that I was supposed to be doing a lot of sitting and resting. Which I did religiously......sort of. Under the very strict supervision of my nurses (see 'The Nurses' article in the second post below this one to refresh your memory) I managed to work on a couple of nice slow and very easy, nothing stressing, projects.

The first project was a thinking challenge from my good friend and fellow AREtsy Denise Felton . She sent me three really beautiful 18 inch by 22 inch fabric squares with a fabulous get well card she'd made herself. The challenge she'd penned upon the interior of the card was for me, while recovering, to figure out what the three little squares could possibly be used for. Her suggestion was that the fabric would look pretty good as one of my scrap aprons. I thought for a rather brief period of time and just couldn't part with all the love and healing vibes she'd packed into each beautiful square. Whatever these little squares were to become, it had to be a 'selfish me' project. Two of the squares immediately looked like outfits to me, and thus they became:
I even managed to chance upon a headband from Beckababe on Etsy that is a larger green and while polka-dot version of the fabric square Denise sent me! I also found a reversable headband from MindyKuen on Etsy which, of course, I didn't get a picture of due to not wanting to be a model anymore than I had to, that goes with the other three tops I hand stitched. Go to Mindy's shop and be prepared to be amazed! Actually, go to Becka's shop too, and prepare to be amazed! Both Etsians do beautiful work! The third square, as I type, is still sitting in my sewing box in a state of zen. It's trying to decide what it wants to be when it grows up---probably another top....

With those project underway I was happy, contented and relaxed until it dawned on me that we had just over two and a half months left before our move!

PANIC TIME!!!!

Ok, not really. But I did, out of total boredom and not really being able to sew as much as before the surgery, went fabric shopping to complete a project I'd set out to do several months earlier: make wheelchair covers. Why? Well, aside from the fact I'm just not a 'basic black' kinda person, they actually serve a very valuable purpose. Did you know that one ultralight wheelchair can cost $3000+ and medicare puts up one heck of a stink to cover 80% of the cost? Did you know that the cushion on my wheelchair cost $400? It did. So, the practicality of the wheelchair covers was two fold; protect the back of the wheelchair from the inevidable bird poop since you can toss a slip cover into the wash, but not the wheelchair. And two, protect the cushion from Hubby tossing it into the greasy back section of his truck. Slip covers are easy to replace, cushions aren't. I've also got two wheelchairs, the one I use and a possessed electric one that works fine for Hubby, but refuses to cooperate with me. I set out to make 4 covers, two per chair, one to keep on and one to change out when the first needs a bath. This is what I ended up with:

While fabric shopping for wheelchair fabric, another good friend stopped by and gifted me 4 yards of fabric. My friends know me well! Nothing soothes the soul and heals the body like beautiful fabrics! Well, two yards of the four total was a pretty burgundy polka-dot that I decided had to become a top. "OOOOOH! Better yet", I thought to myself, a top cool and comfortable enough to wear after surgery during our 8 to 10 day car ride up to Washington! "OOOOOOH!" I thought to myself again (actually, it was out loud to Double Trouble, who were perched on my knees and refusing to let me move at that moment) I can wear them when I go visiting relatives I haven't seen in 15 years and I won't look like a bag lady! So, out came the sewing box again (ok, honesty, I never put it away), and away I stitched on two travel tops:

Ok, that's it, gotta get packing and ready to move 2890 miles north west. I'm gonna put my sewing away. Yup, all done sewing till I get to Washington.....

BUT WAIT!!!!!

I needed new travel cages for Tyson Parker, and Double Trouble (Worthington and AsaMina are good at sharing, so they get to share a travel cage---shhhhhh! They don't know this as I type!). Well, the new cages came in and, of course, Murphy of Murphy Law fame, had to make an appearance! The new cages were a whole quarter inch larger than the ones they replaced (which had unsafe bar spacing and were dangerous for my angels). So,needless to say and of course, the travel cage covers that I'd made for the old cages didn't fit the new ones. It took Tyson Parker and Double Trouble a good hour of going through ALL the fabric I had before they decided every single bit of fabric in my craft closet was terrifying and they wanted the expensive fancy fabric I'd just bought for the above projects as their cage covers. You and I both know Murphy must have had quite the talk with the threesome, huh? Well, Double Trouble insisted that all Paisley Jam (the name of the fabric) was what they wanted. Tyson Parker, was quite happy with a bit of this and a bit of that. Those who've read my blog before know Tyson Parker needs a bit of therapy for his fabric fetish---which also explains the 'unique' picture I got of him on his new travel cage and cover. Have you ever tried to photograph a flirting tiel? No camera speed is fast enough for that, trust me! Double Trouble, of course, tried to convince me that their cover was terrifying, but I looked them in the little bitty eyes and told them to go sit on an ice cube. They opted to sit on the travel cage and cover instead.

What? You really think I've done all this sewing all by myself?! Of course I didn't do all this sewing by myself! I'm recovering from major surgery, remember? Lots of rest to recouperate, like a good girl! So, who was helping me? Worthington Israel Wentworth, of course. I haven't a clue why he picked this up, or what went through is mind the first time he gave it a try, but the little guy LOVES to sew! Ok, he can't work a needle, no hands, remember? But, what he does do is grab the thread as I pull it through the fabric past him. He helps me pull the thread snug so each and every stitch I do, is 'just so'. Now, he knows he's not allowed to help with store stock projects because some people are actually allergic to 1 year olds with feathers (much to Worthington's dismay). But, if it's a 'selfish me' or 'fellow bird person' project, he's right in the middle of it. This series of pictures is of him helping with all of the above projects. I held the thread in the air with one hand and the little camera in the other and just snapped away. His head is rarely in focus due to him 'bobbing for thread' in the air like a child bobs for apples on Halloween. That last picture is him glaring at me for one too many pictures. I only took 20, honest!

And that, for those of you wishing to know, is how you properly recover from major surgery! Any questions?

The Nurses

2008-03-27T14:20:00.012-07:00

Well, everyone has heard me mention my drill sargent nurses: Cleo, AsaMina, Edgar Allan and Worthington. Tyson Parker doesn't do 'nurse' as he's way to busy trashing hubby's den to pay much attention to me. Which is no problem, the four taking care of me are quite enough for one little old me to deal with at one time.

In the following pictures two of the drill sargent nurses were caught in the act by my husband, who obviously is still learning to use my new little camera with the 200 pages of instructions, so the pictures are a tad blurry. AsaMina is on my shoulder about to be kissed. The nurses liked to be paid often, you know. Worthington is the little blond on my knee waiting patiently for his turn at payment for all the hard work he does nursing me back to health.

I'm making sure AsaMina is paid in full as the pile of sewing I'm attempting to slowly work on, made even slower by the insistance of the nurses on being 'paid' for their hard work often, is sitting just to the readers right in the picture. AsaMina loves nothing more than a good cheek nuzzle accompanied with one of my famous neck massages.

Then Worthington's patience is rewarded with a neck massage of his very own. He's also keeping a very watchfull eye on his Daddy. Daddy still makes the little guy a tad nervous.

Now, most of this "Mommy, love me, please." stuff is normal. What isn't normal and what Double Trouble (AsaMina and Worthington) have only done since my surgery is plant themselves on my knees and refuse to budge. In the following pictures you'll see what I mean. If I were to move with them planted and preening, they'd toppled and fall to the floor. Neither can fly. So, there I sit, letting them preen, not moving. It would be fine if it ended there. But, after a good preen, one is normally exhausted and must recharge ones little feathered batteries. So, then the pair fall fast asleep, leaving me stuck in that one position until their little batteries are recharged and their nap is over.

Cleo and Edgar Allan? Well, they don't sit on me, they just yell at me. When I get a crick in my leg and need to shift positions the pair watch me like hawks. Any move they feel I shouldn't be doing Cleo does her best impersonation of an ambulance siren. If I continue to move and not mind my nurse Cleo, Edgar Allan chimes in with his impersonation of a car alarm. I still think I should have had the little guy lo-jacked instead of micro-chipped! I also don't think I've ever come across such strict nurses before in my life! Honest, the four never paid that much attention to me and what I did before the surgery! Needless to say, I'm one seriously blessed Mommy Bird. Not only have I recieved and continue to recieve healing vibes and prayers from my friends and family, but I'm positive my nurses strictness has a lot to do with the fact I'm healing not only amazingly well, but amazingly fast, too.

Ok, the nurses say I have to shut the computer down now. Double Trouble needs another massage and a few more kisses. Must obey my nurses, you know

The Last Asha Chronicle- Part 14

2008-03-27T06:46:00.002-07:00

Well, this is it, the last of the Asha Chronicles (at least for now). As the faithful readers may remember, Beavis, a very old Quaker parrot, ran away from home once before. He was depressed and saddened at not winning Bird of the Week. He assumed he had no friends and ran off to drown his sorrows on a serious Cheerio binge. He was found in a rehab facility run by the Bird Underground and convinced to come home. Well, after losing two more times to another bird for Bird of the Week, he ran away yet again. And, yet again, the Feathered Four went off to rescue him......

The Asha Chronicles Part 14
Yoda Beavis the Lost
by Timothy Graham and Julie Stilwell
March 4, 2008

“I can’t believe I’m here. King of all budgies. The one and only Sir Cecilot trapped like I just snarfed at Claussen and got locked up for a time out!” Cecil complained both melodramatically and a bit to loudly.
“Shhhhhhhhhh!” scolded Asha and BabyGirl at the same time. “You wanna get us caught and trapped in quarantine for the next six months?” Asa ended. “Be lucky that Granny still had Worthington’s travel condo from when his breeder shipped him to us and it still had all the stickers and papers on it for getting through customs.”
“Yeah, and be lucky it isn’t smaller!” Cecil complained again.
“I can’t believe we’re going to Scotland to bring Beavis home!” said Asha. “I wonder how Buddy did it?” she added as she thought of the African Grey from Wall, NJ who not only helped them catch the Yuppie Killer, but also helped them rescue Asa’s flockmate Ralph from the waiting room of the Rainbow Bridge. Buddy was a world traveler and had traveled everywhere, including and most recently the moon.
“There just wasn’t room in here for him to fit, too. We’re just lucky Cecil isn’t as big as his personality and especially that he’s not as big as that attitude and ego of his!” said BabyGirl and she tried to stretch her left foot, which had gone to sleep from being stuck in the same position for so long.
“Watch it, Orange-Wing!” Cecil threatened.
“Yeah, yeah, king of all budgies and so on!” BabyGirl rebuked back.
“Ok, come on; let’s keep a level set of head feathers here!” Asa said as she pulled her tail out from under Asha’s talon. “We need to quick complaining and be thankful for what we have, including each other. Then we need to remember we’re on this uncomfortable mission to rescue Beavis and talk some sense into his old head and get him to come home once and for all.” Asa scolded her Feathered Friends.
“Yeah, it’s just been nearly 12 hours in here and I guess the close quarters are just getting to all of us.” Asha apologized.
“Dolly’s great-Uncle Guido will be picking us up at the airport. Dolly and the Underground forged all the papers he’ll need to just take us to his home in Orkney without us getting stuck in customs and quarantine for the next six months. From what the European Underground has been saying, Beavis is currently living in a place called Skara Brae. I looked it up on Granny’s computer and it’s a human thing called a Neolithic settlement that was built in 3100- 2500 BC. It’s a very old place and there are ten homes there that we will have to search for Beavis.” Asa said as she went over the information she’d stored in the files of her little grey brain cells.
“How far is Skara Brae from Guido’s?” Asked BabyGirl.
“Not too far. Guido will take us there so we don’t have to search too long for it. Then, so we don’t spook Beavis, he’ll leave us to our job.” Asa answered.
“We might as well get some rest. Time will go faster if we sleep through this trip than if we continue arguing with one another.” Said Asha as she tucked her blue, yellow and green head under her wing and closed her eyes.
Her fellow Feathered Friends joined her. They all knew they’d need their rest for the mission that lay ahead.
The Feathered Friends slept so soundly that they didn’t notice the plane had landed until the Delta Pet Express guy jostled their carrier as he moved the crate with the Shih Tzu that sat belted beside them, “Got the four tweety birdies that Guido Guirino guy is picking up.”
“Yeah, take ‘em down to the ticket counter, the Guirino guy will be waiting to take them from you.” the other baggage handler instructed the first.
“What about the customs papers?” the first asked as he unbelted and lifted the carrier with the Feathered Friends in it.
“Guirino has them and they’re all in order, just take the tweety birdies to the ticket counter, direct. All livestock is under its own special section. They have to get to their new owner untraumatized or the airline will get sued.” the second baggage handler said as he carried the Shih Tzu, who was quiet due to being heavily tranquilized for the plane ride, out the hatch door of the climate controlled and pressurized section of the baggage compartment.
The first baggage handler carefully carried the Feathered Friends, who sat wedged side by side, like stuffed birds in the little carrier Asa’s Granny had given to them to get to Scotland in. It was a good 10 minute walk to the Delta ticket counter where Dolly’s great Uncle Guido was waiting for them. He greeted them warmly the moment the baggage handler and packed carrier came into view.
“Oh! My beauuuuuuutiful baby birrrrdie’s!!!!” Guido cooed quite loudly. “Oh, it eees to good to see you! Dolly ‘as told me so much about you I feel I’ve known you all me life! Wait till my Rose Mary sees you beauuuuuuuutiful babies!”
“I need to see your identification and the papers for all four of the tweety birdies.” said the baggage handler as he placed the full carrier down on the ticket counter.
“Not a problem. Ere they are Sir.” said Guido as he handed the stack of customs forms, health certificates, Asa’s micro chip information, and his personal identification to the baggage handler.
“Uncle Guido! Love you!” said Cecil, clear as a bell in English as he clung to the travel carriers door like one of those stuffed Garfields with the suction cup feet that so many Americans liked to display in their cars rear window.
“Ah, little Cecil! Eet must be nice being so small while stuck in such a full carrier, eh?” Guido said sweetly to the only male member of the Feathered Friends.
“Love you!” Cecil warbled again in English.
“Beep!” chimed in Asa, understanding that Cecil was trying to help get them through customs by showing the baggage guy that they knew Guido and he was not some evil bird napper.
“Tickle Tickle. Antidisestablishmentarianism.” said Asha, the Diva of the Feathered Friends, not to be out done.
“Kissy Kissy Uncle Guido.” said BabyGirl.
“Ah, my tweety babies! Uncle Guido loves you too! And Asha, such a long and impressive word!” Guido cooed as he tried to stick a chubby index finger through the carriers door to lovingly skritch Cecil’s head.
Asha considered puffing up at the compliment Uncle Guido had just paid her, but she realized there just wasn’t room in the carrier for such displays of emotion.
“Well, all is in order and the tweety birdies are not only yours, but obviously happy to see you, too. You’re clear to go Mr. Guirino.” The baggage handler smiled as he stamped and handed Guido back a slightly smaller stack of papers.
Uncle Guido carried the carrier snuggly in both of his arms and nestled next to his barrel of a chest to his aging Citron waiting for them out in the parking lot with Rose Mary, his wife.
“Rosie, here are our nieces and nephew.” Guido said with obvious pride in his voice as he handed the packed carrier to his plump wife before getting into the Citron, starting the motor and heading for home.
“Such beautiful babies.” Rosie cooed to the Feathered Friends as they drove out of the airport parking lot.
After a good two hour drive, they arrived at Orkney on the west coast of the mainland of Scotland. Rose Mary lovingly and tenderly carried the carrier into her and Guido’s little stone house, closed and bolted the front door, and opened the carrier. While the Feathered Four buzzed around the main room for a good five minutes, stretching their very stiff wings, Rose Mary set to work preparing feast of noodles and tomato gravy, fresh veggies, fresh fruits and a dish of multi flavored nutriberries Dolly, Asha’s Dad, Cecil’s Mom, BabyGirls Mom and Asa’s Granny had all shipped directly to Guido and Rose Mary in advance, along with a huge tub of Stitches Spicy Popcorn. Well exercised and nearly over fed the Feathered Friends took up residence on various parts of Guido and Rose Mary’s bodies and settled down for a good nights rest.
The next morning Guido took the Feathered Friends to the Skara Brae Settlement and left them there, alone, to search for Beavis, after of course, lavishing skritches and kisses on each one for good luck.
“Well, guess we start here and then work our way through each house till we find Beavis.” BabyGirl began.
“Probably the smartest thing to do so we don’t miss the little guy. Beavis is not a whole lot bigger than Cecil and those green feathers of his will blend nicely with all the moss.” said Asa as she waddled forward toward the door of the first decaying stone house.
The Feathered Friends wandered from dark decaying cold room to dark decaying cold room and found nothing but bugs, moss and a lot of dirt. The second of the ten houses in the settlement was the same as the first, nothing but dirt and bugs.
“I sure hope these homes don’t have secret tunnels or anything.” said BabyGirl with a shiver. “All this dirt is wreaking havoc on my feathers! Bud won’t even recognize me when I get home!”
“Your feathers! Mine aren’t even green anymore! I’m nearly the same color as Asa is!” Asha, the resident Diva, complained lightly.
“And, what is wrong with brown feathers?” asked Asa, knowing her best friend had nothing against brown feathers, if they were naturally that color.
“Diva’s and dirt just don’t mix!” Asha explained as she puffed and fluffed a bit of the dirt loose, exposing three green feathers.
“Wait….” began Cecil in a hushed tone. “I feel something….er, maybe someone?”
Asa, Asha and BabyGirl each stopped dead in their tracks and listened.
“Yeah, someone or something is in here with us.” said Asa.
“Sorry, spectral birds we know from the Rainbow Bridge is one thing, but I don’t do ghosts! Especially old ones from a million years ago!” BabyGirl said in a hoarse whisper.
“Baaaaaaaaaaa.” came a disembodied voice before Asha could put in her two cents worth. “Baaaaaaaaaaaa.” it said again.
“A sheep?!” asked Asa to no bird in particular.
“Aye Missy, I am Meghan. My flock and I live here and you’re trespassing on our land.” the disembodied voice explained.
“Please accept our apologies for trespassing. We didn’t know these homes were still occupied. We’re just here to bring a friend of ours home, Yoda Beavis….” Cecil began before the disembodied voice of the sheep named Meghan interrupted him.
“Aye, I know the one you speak of, baaaaaaaa. He is in the fifth house, the one owned by Ailis and Fiona, the spinster twins, baaaaaaaaa.” said the disembodied voice of Meghan the sheep.
“Ghosts?” asked BabyGirl simply.
“We lived long ago, Green One, we baaaaaaaaaa, are all ghosts. Baaaaaaaaa. Beware the twins, aye, they do not like visitors nor do they baaaaaaaaaa like trespassers. Keep your wits about you and be prepared to answer baaaaaaaa their riddle to reclaim your friend, baaaaaaaaaa.” Meghans disembodied voice ended and the icy chill she’d brought with her disappeared.
“If this was anyone but Beavis I’d be outa here!” said BabyGirl.
“That Quaker is in more of a pickle than my brother Claussen!” Cecil said as he waddled toward the front door of the house and into the fresh sea air.
“I think I’m going to have to Ninja some sense into that guy!” said Asha as she picked up a small rock with her talon and tossed it a couple of inches in front of her.
“Yeah, then after all that knocking sense into him, we need to refill his head with how much he’s hurting his family and friends by disappearing like this again.” Asa said emphatically.
The Feathered Friends waddled for about five minutes as they made their way slowly and cautiously across what passed for the town square of the Neolithic settlement Skara Brae and down a small side street to the fifth house. At the threshold of the nonexistent front door, the Four paused as they felt the icy presence of the twins Ailis and Fiona, but saw nothing.
“May we help you?” came a disembodied voice from somewhere just the other side of the nonexistent doors threshold.
“We’ve come to take Beavis home.” said Cecil bravely.
“Beavis? You want the little one called Beavis?” a different ghostly voice asked with a hideously happy chuckle.
“Yes, we’ve come for Beavis. Now, please let us enter so we can take him home.” Cecil bravely added as he stood up as tall as his tiny 41 gram body would let him.
“Never!” screeched the first voice.
“He’s our supper!” screeched the second voice.
“Ok,” began Asha “You let us have Beavis or I’m going to Ninja me some ghost!” Asha said as she stepped forward one step so she was side by side with the little budgie that saw himself as bigger and stronger than Hercules.
Both ethereal voices laughed with delight at the thought of more for supper that night before one of them added, “Please, come on in.”
Cecil, without a second thought, stepped over the threshold and into the lair of the ghostly spinster twins. The other three followed Cecil without hesitation. Inside the dark dank main room to the fifth house, the home of Ailis and Fiona for many, many centuries, the Feathered Friends stood tall, brave, and very close together. They still could not see their ghostly hosts, but they could feel their icy presence.
“Where is Yoda Beavis!” Cecil demanded in his biggest and most intimidating voice to the invisible twins.
“You really think you have any power over us?!” came the disembodied voice of Ailis.
“Yes we do!” chimed all four of the Feathered Friends at once.
“Aye, these are very stupid little feathered ones, huh Fiona?” Ailis said impishly.
“Aye sister, very stupid.” Fiona wickedly answered.
“Listen, just let us have Beavis and we’ll be gone, ok?” Asa tried to reason to no avail.
“To heck with this, “said Asha as she began to waddle toward the only other visible room from the main room.
“STOP!!!” bellowed the twins simultaneously.
“No, we’re going to find Beavis.” Said Cecil as he and Asa followed Asha toward the other room.
“I’ve got your friend!” said Fiona as she clamped icy invisible fingers around BabyGirls’s body.
“Oh no you don’t!” shouted Cecil as he suddenly became airborne and began buzzing around the room doing is best to dive bomb and bite the invisible twins.
“No one messes with my family!” Asha and Asa, so different in appearance, but so like minded in thought, said at the same time as they also took flight and began dive bombing the icy air.
“I got one!” warbled Cecil as he felt his body go in and then out of an icy cold spot in the room. “One of them is about 5 feet tall over where BabyGirl is frozen!”
“Found the other!” shouted Asha as she went though the second icy cold spot in the room.
“Take that!!!” shouted Asa as she did a loop-dee-loop through both twins phantom forms.
“Stop!! Stop!!! That HURTS!” cried Fiona as she let go of BabyGirl to swat uselessly at Asa, Asha and Cecil.
“Where’s BEAVIS!” cried Cecil as he buzzed through Fiona’s invisible form.
“Ok, ok!! Aye, stop flying through us and we’ll tell you.” Fiona and Ailis cried at the same time.
Reluctantly the threesome landed on the floor, Cecil automatically trying to preen BabyGirls feathers strait for her. She was fine, a bit shaken, but fine.
“Thank you Cecil.” BabyGirl said sweetly and she kissed the top of the little blue budgies white head in gratitude for his heroics.
“We’ll tell you, but you must answer our riddle first!” said Fiona.
“That wasn’t the deal!” said Asha as she readied for flight and buzzing the twins again.
“Aye, you figure the riddle, you’ll find your friend.” Ailis said, all fight and fright gone out of her disembodied voice.
“All right, give us the riddle. I’ve had six years with Granny and her weird puzzles, this shouldn’t be too hard.” Asa said confidently.
“Aye, brave little soul you have.” Fiona said to Asa and then added, “The sad little lost soul you seek be morose where the whiskey flows free from the fruits of the earth. Moss and slime he do amass to life, he soon be no more.”
Cecil whistled softly, “Asa, are you sure you can do it?”
“I just have to think like Granny.” Asa said as she began to immerse herself in thought.
“Fruits of the earth could be a garden?” Asha offered.
“Whiskey is kept in a liquor cabinet.” BabyGirl offered.
“Aye, the little ones will be our supper before long!” Ailis whispered to her sister.
“We need to find a root cellar, a door that leads to the basement of this place.” Asa suddenly said, then explained triumphantly “Way back when they didn’t have electricity they kept food in clay pots and stuff underground to keep them cool and fresh. Beavis must be trapped in underground where they used to store whiskey and canned foods.”
“Like in that shed behind the Byron Depot?” asked Asha.
“Yeah, just like that.” said Asa as Fiona began to reach her invisible hand toward her to kill her for her supper, but, remembering the long since forgotten sensation of the pain the Feathered Friends flying though created, she withdrew.
The Feathered Friends began waddling toward the fireplace where a ghostly rug lay. In books, the trap door was always hidden under a rug. Asha and BabyGirl reached for one of the rugs corners, but grabbed nothing but air.
“Ghost rug?” said Cecil in astonishment.
“Apparently.” answered Asa.
“Look, it’s disappearing!” said BabyGirl.
“And, there is the door!” said Asha happily.
“Let me at it!” said Asa as she stepped forward and began shredding and splintering the rotted wood creating a hole more than large enough for a small dog to crawl through with room to spare.
Fiona and Ailis, realizing they’d been beaten, and fearing the Feathered Friends, disappeared taking the icy chill of the room with them. The Feathered Friends flew through the opening and, with just the light from the dimly lit main room above them pouring in, they alighted on the back of an old chair and listened to the stale air as their eyes adjusted to the darkness.
“I hear him breathing.” whispered Cecil.
“Yeah, over in that corner.” Asha said as she pointed a talon to an area just in front of her.
“Beavis?” asked Asa, hoping dearly it was him and not another ghost looking for dinner.
“How did you find me?” Beavis asked in a weak voice.
“Your friends and the Bird Underground.” Cecil explained.
“I don’t ever want to go home again!” Beavis whispered plaintively.
“Why not?” asked Asha as the four made their way over to the weak little green feathered body perched on an empty whiskey bottle that was nearly fossilized into the stone floor.
“No one likes me. I have no friends. No one will vote for me to be Bird of the Week and I just don’t want to be where I’m not wanted.” Beavis whispered sadly.
“You know Beavis, for such a wise old bird, you’re really dumb!” said Cecil.
“I just don’t get it!” Asa said as she tossed her wings up in the air. “What on earth is such a big deal about Bird of the Week?! I have been a member of Bird Channel for 1 year, 3 months and 21 days according to BC’s records. I am the 357 member of BC and only had 336 of the 4172 friends who’ve visited my page vote for me. But, I have more friends than my Granny could imagine with her over active imagination! Beavis, you’re the 7178 member of BC and in the 1 month and 21 days you’ve been on BC you’ve had 4027 friends visit and place 717 votes! In a MONTH!!!” Asa exclaimed, completely exasperated at the whole Bird of the Week competition.
“Yeah, and when a zillion years pass and BC is no more you’ll have something so much better than all those who think Bird of the Week is a good thing. You’ll be in my memoirs! My Dad and Asa’s Granny are writing the story of our adventures together and you’re part of those stories.” said Asha, equally as exasperated with Beavis’ running away.
“Long after BC is gone, books will remain. Just look at the bible.” Cecil added. “And Shakespeare! Asha’s memoirs and our adventures will become legend and with you in the stories, so will you!”
“Yeah, and you’re old enough to be entered into the Guinness Book of World Records! None of the other birds on BC are old enough for that honor! When you get in that book you get on TV specials, you’ll be famous! You’ll get your talon prints in the Gorman’s Chinese Theater! You’ll get your own memoirs written and published. Good grief, you’ll be so famous you’ll forget BC even exists!” BabyGirl added in her normally enthusiastic tone.
“And, then there is your Mom and flock.” Cecil added somberly. “You have no idea how much they love and miss you. It was them AND your BC friends flockilies that paid for our plane fair to Scotland to come and bring you home. You have no idea how loved and special you are.” Cecil ended very sincerely.
“They really love me that much?” Beavis added in disbelief.
“Yes, you stupid wise bird!” Asha said lovingly.
“What about Fiona and Ailis, they won’t let us leave.” Beavis said, still weakly, but with a smidge more strength that he had before due to the pep talk from his friends.
“Cecil took care of them.” Asa smiled as Cecil fluffed a bit with pride at Asa’s compliment.
With a deep sigh, Beavis slid off the nearly fossilized whiskey bottle and slowly followed the Feathered Friends out of the root cellar and out of the haunted Neolithic settlement into a field of lush green grass to check Beavis over and make sure he’d make it to Uncle Guido and Aunt Rose Mary’s home.
Beavis, although, quite weak due to lack of food, water and sun light, never mind the icy chill he’d been living in for who knows how long, he made it to Uncle Guido’s where Aunt Rose Mary had a feast fit for the entire BC flock AND their flockilies laid out on the table for them. Beavis didn’t hesitate, he dove right in and ate all his little green Quaker body could hold, then he added in a bit more for good measure. Full to the eyeballs, he curled up on the nape of his new Aunt Rose Mary neck and fell into the sweetest sleep he’d had in a long time.
The next morning, after another filling feast for breakfast Guido made a startling announcement, “Little ones, I have a big surprise for you!”
“Tickle Tickle?” said Asha unnecessarily. Guido, being a member of the Underground, knew the birds could talk, but he obliged Asha with a ‘tickle tickle’ on the back of her neck, to which she responded by nearly melting into a puddle of happy feathers.
“Sean Connery,“ Guido continued as he continued to give Asha skritches with one hand and Asa with the other. “is here, in Orkney leading a tour through the ruins you just rescued Beavis from. Eee is one of the main members of Friends of Scotland who helps to raise money and awareness in the interest, history and traditions of Scottish culture. Eees wife, Micheline is also here. She ees a friend of my Rosie’s,” Guido explained to the Feathered Friends and Beavis as his wife skritched Beavis and Cecil into their own little puddle of happy feathers. BabyGirl opted out of the love fest to try and remove the rest of the dirt from her lush emerald green feathers. Guido continued, “and she and Sean agreed to take you on their private jet back to the states and to your families.”
“No being squished by large green bodies?” queried Cecil.
“Hey! Who you calling large!?!” Asha and BabyGirl demanded at the same time.
“No one.” Cecil quickly added innocently.
“I hope not.” said Asha deviously.
“No, no tiny little travel condo, eee-sept to get you through customs and onto the plane.” Rose Mary chimed in.
The very next day Sean Connery and his wife Micheline picked up the Feathered Four and Beavis all crammed into the tiny travel condo from their Uncle Guido and Aunt Rose Mary and took them to their private jet at the Islay Airport and then home.
During the trip Connery seemed a little uncomfortable in the company of five parrots until Asha piped up: ”You know, my Dad says that all the other Bonds were a bunch of crap!” Things went very smoothly after that. The jet dropped the birds off at Dulles Airport in Washington D.C., just a short flight from Beavis’ home in Virginia Beach.
“That Sean Connery is sure a nice guy,” said BabyGirl.
“Yeah, Dad is going to love the autographed Walther he said he would FedEx us,” said Asha.
“Why the long face Beavis?” asked Asa.
“I feel really stupid,” the elderly Quaker said with a sigh. “You would have thought I had learned my lesson when you all went all the way to Las Vegas to rescue me the last time. But no! I let it all get to me again and this time I ran all the way to Europe. Mom will never let me come home this time.”
“We’ll just wait and see about that,” said Asha.
The five parrots flew silently to Virginia Beach and perched on a tree branch of the tree in Beavis’ front yard as Beavis waddled up to the front door and rang the bell.
The door was quickly thrown open by a woman who had obviously been crying. “Beavis! You’re back!” she shouted as she scooped up the small bird and began to do what Asa called a ‘happy dance’. “Inca and the rest of the flock have missed you so badly.”
“But what about you, mom, have you missed me?” Beavis said in a low voice. “I’ve been very stupid and caused you a lot of trouble. If you want me to stay gone I guess I could find somewhere else to stay.”
“Don’t be even more stupid!” she said. “You know I love you. You know how many times your loving face has carried me through hard times. Why just last year when Joe the Sparrow died, it was your cheerful voice that carried me through. Just promise me you’ll stay for good this time. Besides, I don’t know how many years The Great Spirit will allow you to remain here with me. I want to spend every minute I can with you.”
“I promise I won’t leave again,” Beavis said. “I really do.”
Beavis’ mom looked out into the yard and said: “I know you are out there somewhere you crazy birds! Come on down here and show your faces!”
The Feathered Four fluttered down and gathered in a semi-circle around Beavis and his Mom.
“These four have been to the ends of the Earth just for you,” she said. “With friends like this you are Bird of the Century!”
“Hey, how many points do you get for that?” asked BabyGirl innocently.
“Way to kill the mood bird brain,” Asha said as she slapped BabyGirl on the side of her head with her wing.
“Come on in you all,” said Beavis’ mom with a laugh. “I think I can whip up a batch of Spicy Pop Corn in no time!”
“For that, I’ll definitely stay home!” said Beavis as they all laughed and gathered in a group hug.

Sewing Withdrawl!!!

2008-03-21T18:38:00.007-07:00

Well, as most of my faithful readers know, March 11, 2008 I had a radical double mastectomy. You name it, they removed it except the lymph nodes under my arms. I got the pathology report back on March 14 and if I was allowed to do a happy dance, I would. Not one single cancer cell!!! There was calcification and fibrocystic changes, which for me considering a previous surgery in 1991 removed 11 lumps and all but tissue and lymph nodes, finding such things wasn't a good sign. Basically what it came down to was that I'm pre-cancer bordering on cancer, but haven't produced tumors yet. My calcification and fibrocystic change was cells that hadn't decided what they wanted to be when they grew up yet. My surgery was well timed, a huge relief and a major blessing.

Currently I've got no bandages on, but am still stapled literally from arm pit to arm pit. My staples come out on March 26. Until then I'm to be resting and not doing too much moving around. For someone stuck in the house as much as I am, you'd assume I was a certifiable perch potato who watched the soaps and talk shows. Personally I hate both, leave on PBS during the day for my tiels (AsaMina watches Super Why, Word World, and Between the Lions with her little eyeballs glued to the screen as they are her favorites), and watch the news from 5 to 6 in the evening. Beyond that I have to find something to do to keep busy. Needless to say, these past two weeks have tried my imagination quite a bit.

Right after surgery my Flocktalk friends had a virtual bird party, which kept me quite occupied for two days. Then I became involved in a 'Where's Waldo' version of a game on Bird Channel.com with a couple of more friends. In between that I went fabric shopping on the computer and was also blessed with three fat quarters from Denise and a couple of yards of fabric from another friend. Today I went pattern shopping on the internet (I'm still trapped in the house for another week or two!).

Tomorrow I begin a little sewing for myself, as I'm no where healed enough to make stuff I'd sell. I want to be 100% for that. Besides, two of the fat quarters Denise sent me found a project to belong to. This first one will be

a dress with the little top part out of the light green fat quarter and the sleeves and skirt part out of a deep forrest green cotton. I just couldn't see making something out of the fat quarters that I was to give away or sell. There is so many healing hugs and healing vibes loaded and woven into each little piece Denise gave me, I had to be selfish and keep it for myself. Plus, due to the surgery and Worthington telling me I have terrible fashion sense, I've cleaned out three quarters of the clothes in my closet and, of course, must replace them....or some of them! This is the second fat quarter from Denise.The black and gold fat quarter will be the little top part of this shirt with the solid black cotton as the bottom of the top, sleeves and insert in the front. The third fat quarter is currently meditating and trying to find it's destiny. Thank you again Denise!

My original purpose for fabric hunting, aside from boredom, was to complete what I'd begun for my wheelchair. Originally I'd planned to make a couple of covers for the seat and back so they could be removed and changed due to mood or laundry. These two fabrics are future wheelchair covers.

And, lastly is a fabric that I like....I don't like.....I like.....I don't like.....I like.....you get the point. I thought it'd be more red and less orange, but it's more orange than red and doesn't go with my red wheelchair frame. BUT, all is not lost as hubby likes the fabric and it does go nicely with the electric wheelchair with the cockatiel grey frame (the orange in the fabric is 'ear patch' orange, the color of a cockatiels ear patches), so it'll be the cover for that wheelchair.
Hubby did say this looked like brothel fabric. I didn't bother to ask how he knew that and just went with it. But, tomorrow I'll begin the process with the pink and red paisley fabric and work on my first of two wheelchair covers. I promise to work slowly and carefully and not stress myself. But, if I don't get creating soon........

The Asha Chronicles--Part 13

2008-03-17T14:22:00.005-07:00

Below, my ravenous reader, lies Part 13 of the Asha Chronicles. This story is based on a picture I've had for 14 years that just needed it's 15 minutes of fame and obligatory 1000 words. Now, I'm pretty sure there is way more than 1000 words below and I also know I'll leave this episode up for about 4 days before uploading the next adventure, so my above discription may be a tad inaccurate. What's not inaccurate, however is that you'll need at least one box of tissue at your side, ready and waiting, when you read this story. If you've ever been owned by a critter, dog, cat, bird, lizard, etc, well, just read on.......

At the end of this little story is a very special picture.....read the story and the picture will take on a whole new meaning.......

The Asha Chronicles Part 13
Ease Their Pain
By
Timothy Graham and Julie Stilwell
March 4, 2008

Asa again woke from a fitful sleep.
It was that dream again, the same one that had been haunting her for the last two weeks. The image of the two cockatiels with their backs to her and their wings spreading over each other’s shoulders in a loving embrace had become seared in her mind.
But why was the same dream coming to her every night? And why these two birds? She did not recognize either one of them but still they kept coming back to her night after night. She thought about trying to awaken her Granny but then she heard a noise to her right and she turned. There she saw the vision of another cockatiel with its wings outstretched to her in supplication.
“Help them! Help them please!” the spectral bird whispered.
That was quite enough for Asa as she immediately fell off her perch and landed at the bottom of her cage with a resounding ‘thud!’ That was enough to awaken every other bird in the house and the resulting chaos ended any chances for bird or human to get more sleep that night.
The next day Asa emailed her friend and fellow member of the Feathered Friends Asha in Georgia. Asa tried to explain what had been happening but, not truly believing it had really happened, had a hard time getting the point across to her friend.
“You must have come across some bad pellets,” Asha said in an effort to calm her friend. “We’ve all had some of these visions in the past when we were on a mission. We’ve seen Rosalie and others who have passed over the Rainbow Bridge. Maybe it is something like that.”
“Yes, but we knew who they were and we know why they were contacting us,” said Asa. “I don’t recognize any of these birds and have no idea why they would be trying to contact me.”
Later that day Asa was engaged in her favorite activity-chewing one of her toys into sawdust-when she heard a rustling behind her. She turned and there was the astral vision from the previous night.
“Help them! You have to help them! You are their only hope!” the vision said plaintively and disappeared as quickly as it had come.
Asa shook her head and tried to gather her thoughts.
“This is totally crazy,” she said to herself. “Maybe Granny can help.”
Asa waddled into her Granny’s work room and climbed up on her shoulder. Her granny was busy sewing a shopping sack for her online business but she was never too busy to pay attention to Asa.
“Beep!” said Asa. “Beep, beep!”
“I sure wish I knew what you were trying to say,” said Granny. “Do you want to help me sew?”
Asa jumped down to the floor in disgust. “Humans!’ she said to herself. “They can’t understand anything!”
As she waddled from the room she turned and saw the vision again, this time hanging in the air behind her Granny.
“Help them!” the astral cockatiel said. “Help Cherry and Ralph!”
Playing a hunch, Asa waddled back to her Granny and climbed back onto her shoulder.
“Beep!” she said. “Beep! Cherry! Ralph!”
“What did you say?” her Granny said as she dropped her half-finished grocery bag. “What did you say?”
Asa kept quiet because she knew that her Granny’s chain of thought would eventually travel to where she wanted it to.
“I could have sworn you said Cherry and Ralph,” she said quietly. “I’m sure I imagined it, but still, let me tell you about those two. Ralph was still around when you were hatched in 2001 but you never knew the whole story. Cherry and Ralph were two of the most beautiful ‘tiels you have ever seen. Cherry Lace came to me back in 1993. It was obvious that she was lonely and needed a friend so we found Sir Ralph D’Artagnan about six months later. They immediately bonded and were the most loving couple you have ever seen.
“I remember how they would sit on their perch with their wings around each other’s shoulders just like a pair of human lovers,” Granny said. “Wait a second! I think I still have a copy of that picture I took one time.”
Asa’s granny went to a nearby sideboard and began rummaging in several boxes before finally shouting “Here it is! I found it” She brought it over and showed it to Asa who came close to having a fatal heart attack. It was the dream she had been having. The two birds with their wings wrapped around each other’s shoulders. The same dream that had been haunting her for weeks.
Granny showed Asa another photograph. “And this is their only fledgling. His name was Diamond Sunshine.”
This one did not catch Asa as nearly by surprise. She was pretty much ready for anything by now. Of course, it was the bird from her astral visions.
“Diamond Sunshine was hatched in 1996 and his mother died soon after due to a genetic defect in her pancreas,” Granny said wistfully. “The same defect took Diamond Sunshine in 2000. As you know, Ralph lasted until 2005 and he finally passed due to old age and a broken heart. He never got over losing his Cherry Lace and their son. If humans would only love each other as much as those two birds did…..” Granny stopped and gazed at the two photographs.
“So many memories and so many missing friends,” she said as she dabbed a tear from her cheek with a handkerchief. “The only thing that helps me is knowing that they are happy together on the Rainbow Bridge.”
Granny left the room leaving Asa alone with the photos. She was totally unsurprised when the vision of Diamond Sunshine appeared as soon as granny was gone.
“I guess you know the story now,” Diamond said to Asa.
“Yes, but why are you here? I thought you all would be happy together over the Bridge. Why are you here keeping me awake at night?” Asa asked.
“That is the problem!” Diamond said. “We are not all happy together. Mom and I have been there waiting for Dad to show up but he never has. We’ve waited there for three years for him and there has been no sign. We need for you to find out what happened and bring him to his rightful place on the Rainbow Bridge.”
“You want me to find out what happened to the spirit of your father and return it to the Rainbow Bridge” Asa asked in shock.
“Exactly,” said Diamond Sunshine. “I don’t know how long mother can go without him. She is the only bird up there who is plucking their feathers. Everyone tries to raise her spirits, but nothing helps. She has to have Ralph.
“Will you please help us?” Diamond asked tearfully.
“Sure I will,” said Asa. “I’ll just call up a little help and we’ll get right on it. I can’t guarantee anything though, we’ve never tried anything like this before.”
Thank you Asa,” Diamond said as his spectral vision began to fade. “Thank you for both of us.”
Asa immediately got onto the internet and left word for the other three members of the Feathered Friends. They emailed back that they were on their way and by the following afternoon all four were perched on a tree limb outside Asa’s house. It took a while, but Asa was finally able to tell her story. And it took even longer for the others to believe what they were hearing.
As usual, Asha was the resident skeptic.
“OK, I have to apologize here, but my Dad raised me to take everything with a grain of salt,” the Amazon said. “I don’t really think I believed this Rainbow Bridge business until I actually went there, but my understanding was that the spirits of all companion animals went there to await the arrival of their humans.”
“That’s right,” said BabyGirl. “When they get there they are cured of any disease or health problems they might have had here on Earth. It is a wonderful place of fresh air, good food, and lots of fun!”
BabyGirl was nothing if not an enthusiastic young Amazon.
“So why wouldn’t Ralph have gone to the Bridge?” asked Cecil. “Do they have a different place for bad birdies to go to? Maybe Ralph was a bad birdie?”
“I don’t know the answers to any of those questions except the one about Ralph. I knew him for four years and he was a good bird,” Asa said. “Our problem here is that we don’t have enough information.”
“Well, that means we need to get some information and there is only one place we can find it,” said Asha. “We’ve got to go to the Rainbow Bridge.”
“How do we do that?” Cecil asked. “Kill ourselves?”
“No,” Asha said with a smile. “We need a guide. And I know just the bird for the job.”
Asha waddled to the computer and sent out an email to an African Grey friend of hers named Buddy. He soon emailed back and said he was on his way.
“Buddy is quite the traveler,” Asha told the other three as they munched on fruit and veggies provided by Asa’s granny. Granny seemed not the least disturbed or surprised by the sudden appearance of the extra birds. She and Asa seemed to have a psychic connection at some levels.
“Buddy has actually been to the Rainbow Bridge as a visitor,” said Asha. “He was given a tour of the place by Rosalie. I was hoping that he would be able to get us up there and show us around and maybe introduce us to someone who could answer our questions.”
After a restful sleep Buddy showed up the next morning and agreed to help out the Feathered Friends.
“Rosalie said that I was welcome to come back any time,” Buddy said. “I’m sure she wouldn’t mind me bringing you all along since you and she are friends.”
Buddy waddled off a few feet away from the others and appeared to concentrate on something far away. A few seconds later all five could see a vision of their old friend Rosalie.
“Buddy, good to see you again,” Rosalie said in her rich, melodious voice. “I see you are with my friends the Feathered Friends. What can I do for you?”
“We would like to visit the Rainbow Bridge,” said Buddy. “They wanted to ask some questions about the place and I agreed to show them around.”
“You are all more than welcome,” said Rosalie. “We are all in your debt. Anything we can do, you only need ask.”
Suddenly the five felt a breath of wind and then a flash of light and they were standing on a wide expanse of grass. As far as they could see birds and other animals were flying, walking, running, and crawling to their heart’s content. There were many small ponds of cool, fresh water scattered everywhere along with piles of food of all description. In the distance they could see a bridge which literally shown with all the colors of the rainbow.
The five found that their hearts were in their throats and an indescribable joy was in their hearts. Asha was the first to break the silence.
“How did you ever find the strength to go home after being up here,” she asked with a noticeable catch in her throat.
“It was hard,” Buddy said. “It was very hard. “It was only the love of my Mom and my flockmates that allowed me to go home. We need to start walking towards the bridge. If I understand what you have told me, it is there that you will find the answers you seek.”
The walk was a long one but none of the five grew tired or bored of the journey. Sometimes they flew for a stretch, but seemingly by an unspoken agreement they mostly walked in an effort to extend the time they would spend in this place.
About halfway to the bridge they heard a loud barking and saw a beautiful young Collie approach.
“Are you Asha?” the dog asked.
“Yes, I am,” she replied. “Who are you?”
“You do not know me but I have a message for you to deliver if you could,” the dog said. “My name is Lucy and would you please tell your Dad that I miss him and I will be here to see him when he has to make the journey.”
The dog then turned and ran away across the grass.
Shortly afterwards they saw a large African Grey parrot fly up to meet them. He seemed familiar, but none of them recognized him.
“I can understand that you do not recognize me,” the Grey said with a laugh. “The last time you saw me I wasn’t in good shape. I’m Sammy.”
The Four then immediately recognized the bird that had been killed by its evil owner a few months back. The Feathered Friends had tried to rehabilitate Sammy’s owner but were finally forced to take the ultimate revenge against him for his crimes.
“I just wanted to thank you for what you did,” Sammy said. “Too many of the animals up here arrived the same way I did, suffering at the hands of an evil human. I am one of the few who can say that my passing was avenged and for that I will be eternally grateful to you. Now I can fly free!”
Along the remainder of their walk each bird would share similar experiences as dogs, cats, or birds would come up and ask them to remember them to their current companions. By the time they reached the bridge all five were choked with emotion and perched on a large rock to get their bearings.
After a few minutes Rosalie flew up and asked what questions they had. Asa explained their mission and said they needed to speak to someone who could explain what had happened to the spirit of Ralph.
“That is a difficult question that I would have no answer for,” said Rosalie with a shake of her majestic head. “It sounds like you need to speak to the High Spirit.”
“How do we find him?” asked Asa.
“Oh, you do not find the High Spirit,” laughed Rosalie. “Just walk over the Bridge and if he wishes to speak to you, He will find you.”
The five walked over the bridge and down the other side. They walked down a tree-lined path into a small grotto centered around a small pond. Perched on the lower branch of a majestic Maple tree they saw a large owl.
“We meet again I see,” the owl said. “You four are very persistent creatures. What do you require of me now?”
“Why, you are Oppenheimer!” said Cecil. “This is wonderful. We haven’t seen you since we helped out Sammy. Are you here to help us find the High Spirit?”
“Cecil,” Asa said in a hushed tone. “I have the felling we just found the High Spirit.”
“Indeed you have,” the owl said.
“That’s cool,” said BabyGirl. “The High Spirit is a bird just like us!”
“It isn’t that simple,” said Oppenheimer. “If you were dogs you would see a Saint Bernard. If you were cats you would see a wise Siamese. Each species has their own conception of the High Spirit. I understand you have questions. Feel free to ask.”
Oppenheimer spread his massive wings and glided down to perch on the rock wall of the pond as Asa explained the problem. When she finished Oppenheimer looked at her for a couple of minutes before speaking.
“I have no idea why Ralph is not here,” he finally said. “He should be here, of that I have no doubt. But I have not the power to snap my talons and produce his spirit; that is reserved for those even more powerful than I. All I can say is that there is a place for the spirits of the good and a place for those who are bad. And there is a place in between. Sometimes spirits go there while a decision is being made on their worthiness. Sometimes they go there by error. My guess is that Ralph is there, waiting.”
“How do we get him here?” asked Asa.
“You will have to go and find him and bring him back with you,” said Oppenheimer. “But let me warn you, it will be no journey for the faint of heart. And only one of you can go. I have the power to send you there, but I cannot help you once you leave here. Choose wisely.”
The owl glided back to the tree limb and turned his head as if in sleep. But they could feel his powerful eyes on them every second.
“Well this is a toughy,” said Asha. “I suppose this is a job for Ninja Bird! Ain’t nothing stood up to these talons yet!”
“Thank you dear friend,” said Asa. “But this is flock business. It’s my duty.” She turned her head up towards the owl. “Send me on Oppenheimer.”
“As you wish,” he said and Asa suddenly disappeared.
When he vision cleared she found herself in the middle of a barren and parched landscape. The ground was the shade of bricks and the sky the shade of blood. Asa felt a fear in her she had never felt before. But she also felt something else, a feeling that tugged her towards the north. Asa alternately flew and walked north for what seemed like weeks and months. She drank from brackish pools that she would have turned her beak up to on Earth but which she welcomed deliriously here. She ate bugs that were small enough to choke down her throat while others she avoided altogether in fear they would eat her. She finally arrived at a huge castle guarded by an enormous moat filled with beasts out of a fever dream. She looked up at the drawbridge and rested for a while.
Suddenly a voice spoke out.
“Who seeks the spirits of those abandoned?” the voice trumpeted.
“I do,” said Asa. “I seek the spirit of Sir Ralph D’Artagnan.”
“Enter,” the voice spoke as the drawbridge fell. Asa walked across and into a massive courtyard. When she reached the center of the courtyard she noticed that the walls were ringed by huge beasts with huge teeth and huger claws. She swallowed hard but still stood as tall as she could.
“Is this some jest?” boomed the voice from a window in the courtyard wall. “A tiny bird has come to challenge my control over the spirits of the abandoned?”
“This spirit is not abandoned,” Asa shouted. “I have come for it and am ready to die in the attempt.”
Asa looked up and saw what appeared to be a bear more than ten feet tall with blue fur. He was clad in some kind of weird leather clothing and he was staring directly at Asa.
“You realize I could have you killed in less time than it takes to draw a breath?” the bear asked.
“Yes, I do,” said Asa.
“And you still contest my hold over the spirit of this Ralph?” he said.
“Yes, I do,” Asa repeated.
“Bah!” the bear shouted. “This Ralph is as much trouble as you are. There is something about you birds, can’t stand you. Here, take him and never darken my door again.”
Asa saw Ralph flutter out of the window and alight beside her.
“Hello young Asa,” Ralph said with a smile. “It has indeed been a while.”
Suddenly the landscape changed and the two were back in the grotto beyond the Rainbow Bridge.
“Congratulations,” boomed the voice of Oppenheimer. “A lost spirit has been found and returned to those who loved him.”
Asa and Ralph looked up and walking towards them were Cherry Lace and Diamond Sunshine. The welcomes were long and tear-filled but a few minutes later the five friends found themselves together under one of the large Maples.
“Quick work Asa,” said Asha. “You couldn’t have been gone more than a minute.”
“A minute?” said Asa. “It took a month if it took a second. I hope I never have to do anything like that again.”
Oh Asa!” boomed the voice of Oppenheimer. “Before you go there are some others you need to see.”
Asa turned and saw walking towards her Precious, her little sister, and her parents Rowena Rose and R.B. Bird. Asa broke down in tears as she tried to wrap all three in her wings.
“And I call myself a Ninja Bird,” Asha said as she shook her head.

(Cherry Lace and Ralph in their lovers embrace)

The Asha Chronicles Part 12

2008-03-13T12:37:00.003-07:00

Ah, Cary Grant in Arsnic and Old Lace, one of my all time favorites! Ok, this is the 12th Episode of the Asha Chronicles, not Arsnic and Old Lace.......or is it?

The Asha Chronicles Part 12
Stormy Dark Knight
by Julie Stilwell and Tim Graham
February 28, 2008

“Glad you got my message, “said Cecil to Asha, Asa and BabyGirl as the Feathered Four assembled in a sun puddle on the roof of Cecils apartment building.
“We all saw the news report, too. Another what the humans call a Yuppie murdered. BabyGirl and I went over what we each remembered from the news on our way up here.” began Asa. She lived in Arkansas and BabyGirl lived in Missouri, just north of her. The two members of the Feathered Four had flown side by side to Cecils home in northwestern New York.
“Dad’s had on the sports and ESPN, not the news, so I don’t know too much, just that 12 Yuppie’s have been murdered. What do you know that we don’t Cecil?” asked Asha.
“Mostly I just have ideas.” Cecil began as he shifted his weight in the little puddle of sunshine he was perched upon. “My Mom and Dad have had the news on a lot lately even thought the murders are taking place in Augusta, Maine and not here. I’ve been listening closely to what the news has to say and I think there are some clues the police aren’t looking into that we should look into so no more humans die.”
“Like what clues?” asked Asa before she answered her own question. “Like the one of the blue synthetic hairs left at the last scene and the question why human goo called Ben Gay was used to grease the window tracts so the window wouldn’t squeak……oh, and why the Yuppies.”
“The Yuppies I think is pretty easy to answer.” said Asha. “They’re humans whose behavior irritates other humans due to things called pastels and being rich or some other such human nonsense.”
“I think it’s more than that. I think the killer is picking Yuppies for a more personal reason.” BabyGirl thought out loud.
“Yeah, that’s one of the things BabyGirl and I talked about on our way up here. There has got to be a personal reason for the Yuppies being singled out, like they’ve been wronged by a Yuppie in their life, can’t get rid of it and kill the others to feel better.” said Asa.
“You’ve been reading too many of your Granny’s stories.” Asha scolded Asa lightly , “Stuff like that only happens in humans imaginations.”
“Not necessarily.” Began Cecil, “From all I’ve heard on the news, that’s what the police and FBI and other such Human organization are saying, too. It’s the clues that are baffling them. They’re looking into some human they think wanted to be a Yuppie, but couldn’t do it, so he’s mad and killing other Yuppies. But, I don’t think they’re on the right track….”
“Because of the synthetic blue hair and ben gay, right?” asked Asha.
“Yeah, because of the synthetic blue hair and the ben gay. Also found was makeup powder and at one crime scene a message was left in turquoise eye shadow.” Cecil said knowledgably.
“It sounds more like that teacher my Granny had when she was in the 3rd grade she’s told me about before, Mrs. Hanf. She was an old lady with way too much powder on her face, blue hair and turquoise eye shadow. Mrs. Hanf also had bright red lipstick, too. Was lipstick found anywhere in any of the 12 crime scenes?” Asa offered and asked.
“Hmmm….” Cecil pondered, “No lipstick found that I can recall.”
“Well, if Mrs Hanf is the killer, where do we find her?” Asked BabyGirl logically.
“I think she died forever ago since Granny is so old now herself and it happened when she was a little girl.” Asa enlightened.
“So, you think we’re looking for an old lady?” Asked Asha thoughtfully.
“Yeah.” said Cecil simply.
“So, were do we find a crazy old lady?” asked Asha again.
“Well, Edgar Allan was once owned by a hair dresser lady. Lots of old ladies go to hair dressers to make their hair nice and blue.” Asa offered as a starting point.
“Well, there are those senior centers, too.” offered BabyGirl.
“We need a place that has yuppies AND old ladies.” said Cecil. “We should go to the crime scenes and see if we can see anything the police missed.”
“Good idea, since if I sit in this nice warm sun puddle much longer I’m going to need a nap!” said Asha with a huge yawn and an even larger stretch.
The Feathered Four took flight and headed East to Augusta, Maine. When they finally arrived a few hours later they alighted in a pine tree in the back yard of the scene of the first murder near a bird feeder.
“Well, I do hate old stale wild bird seed, but my tummy is saying otherwise. Join me ladies?” Asked Cecil and he filled his tummy with the feeders offerings.
“Totally disgusting, Cecil!!” said Asha and she dove into the feeders offerings, too.
“I think this is budgie seed, not wild seed.” said Asa, also with a beak full.
“You guys are pathetic!” said BabyGirl with a roll of her eyes as she picked at a pine cone hanging near her face.
After the quick snack Asa went up to the house and easily popped the storm window latch and then the latch holding the window closed, “Come on, lets go in and look around.”
The Feathered Four entered the dimly lit house and began to waddle around on the floor, each figuring that it would be a clue on the floor that the tall humans would miss due to being so high up. They searched under the beds, dressers and in the nooks and crannies of each closet and found nothing but dust bunnies.
“I HATE dust bunnies in my feathers!” muttered Asha and BabyGirl at the same time.
“Hey, Asa, under here!” called Cecil from under the china cabinet in the dining room.
“What did you find Cecil?” asked Asa as she flattened herself a little to fit under the china cabinet.
“A piece of paper and it seems to be stuck, too. I need help so I don’t rip it and ruin the clue.” he explained.
“It’s hooked on a staple.” explained Asa as she reached for the staple used to hold the bottom of the china cabinet together and pulled.
“Wait! If that staple is holding this cabinet together, won’t we be buried alive down here if you pull that out?” asked Cecil.
“No, humans have to use a lot of staples and nails to get their things to stay together. My Grandpa has built a jungle gym for us, and when my Daddy pulled one nail pulled out and the jungle gym it didn’t fall apart and is still fine. Pull out more than one and then you’re in trouble.” Asa explained as she pulled just one corner of the staple loose, just in case she was wrong, and dislodged the corner of the paper Cecil had found.
“So, what’s the paper say, Asa?” asked BabyGirl as she preened the last of the dust bunnies out of her lush emerald green feathers.
“Just a sec, let me flatten out the paper.” Asa responded as she tried, with a bit of help from Cecil and Asha. “Ok, this is what it says: “Asa began as she translated the human writing for her fellow crime fighters. “Thank you for baby sitting my Stormy Knight. Please accept these Oatmeal Raisin Cookies as a token of my gratefulness for all you did for my baby girl. And, then it’s signed Edith Jean.” Asa ended.
“Well, I’ve heard some funny human names before, but ‘Stormy Knight’? That’s a really weird one!” said BabyGirl.
Asha caught Asa examining a corner of the note so closely that it was only a quarter inch from the tip of her beak, “Do you see something else?” asked Asha.
“Yeah, a munch mark from a bird.” Asa said softly as if speaking louder would make the evidence disappear.
“Munch mark?” asked Cecil and he joined Asa a quarter inch from the note paper clue.
“Yeah, that’s how my Granny has us sign our names on birthday cards and letters she writes. It looks to me like Stormy Knight is a bird, not a person.”
“So, we’ve got an old lady killing yuppies by luring them into her trap with a bird?!” Asha asked totally astonished.
“We need to contact the Underground for a Stormy Knight.” Said BabyGirl.
“Why don’t we just check the humans address book for someone named Edith Jean?” asked Asha, thinking logically. “My Dad always keeps important humans to contact in his address book….or on his computer.”
“Party-Pooper!” said BabyGirl, who often got word out to the hundreds of other birds she knew via the Underground to let them know of her latest ‘social gathering’.
Asa and Asha headed for the little secretary style desk located across the room from the china cabinet and Cecil and BabyGirl headed for the little office they’d searched earlier for clues for the computer they’d seen sitting there.
After just a few minutes of searching the four met back in the middle of the dining room, Asa and Asha both carrying a medium sized purple, green and pink striped address book in their beaks and Cecil and BabyGirl each with a corner of a one page print out in their beaks.
“Whatcha find?” Asked Cecil to Asha and Asa as he dropped his corner of the printout onto the floor.
“We found Edith Jean.” Asha began.
“She lives at 1298 Truly Circle.” Asa finished for Asha.
“We found a map in the computer next to her name in the computers address book.” Said Cecil.
“I really think we ought to call in Knuckles and have her meet us at this address. Knuckles is just a bit of extra muscle against anything we may find. Plus, she takes that Sam Spade thing very seriously.” suggested BabyGirl.
“Good idea! And, then there is Buddy, an African Grey that lives in Wall, New Jersey. He’s a master of disguise, too and he’s been all over the world!” said Asa “Oh, and it’s ‘Samantha Spade’.” she quickly added.
“Yeah, put a call in, Asa and Cecil, to Knuckles and Buddy ask them to meet us at 1298 Truly Circle.” said Asha.
“Yeah, ‘Samantha Spade’.” Cecil chuckled.
With calls made the Feathered Four headed out to Edith Jeans house just a few miles down the road and began surveillance. From one of the lower branches on the maple tree in 1298 Truly Circle’s backyard the Feathered Four huddled closely together, hoping that Cecils light blue feathers wouldn’t be seen. Asha and BabyGirls’s lush emerald green feathers blended in nicely with the leaves of the maple tree and Asa’s cinnamon brown feathers blended in with nearly everything. Through the open kitchen window the Feather Four heard and saw a human soap opera of sorts unfold before them:
“But Biff, Reginald and I didn’t have an affair!” Tiffany whined to her husband.
“Then what were the two of you doing in bed together?” Biff queried. Biff was a 30 something man with his chiseled frame currently ensconced in a pastel pink Izod shirt with a white cable knit sweater draped over his shoulder with the sleeves tied loosely around his neck and a pair of white Docker slacks encasing his muscular legs.
“Reginald was in the bed and I was standing beside it. Reginald is one of the owners of Lord Pimlym Furniture and he came over to test the bed frame. I told him of the creaking we were hearing last night. He’d climbed onto the bed to see if he could make it creak, that’s all.” Tiffany whined at her husband as she grabbed her tennis racket and gym bag and headed for the front door. As she reached for the door knob, she turned to her husband Biff and added in an icy cold tone of voice, “Think what you wish, nothing happened. Don’t forget to feed Mother and that bird of hers. We don’t need the authorities knocking on our door again.”
“I’m not feeding Mother any of our good food! The old bitty doesn’t deserve it!” Biff ranted to his wife.
“There’s some old bread and gelatinous peanut butter in the pantry, give Mother that and be sure to give her a cup of water and the bird some seed, too.” his wife screeched back icily and she closed the door behind her and headed off for her tennis lesson at the Country Club.
“Can’t believe we’re saddled with this old bitty! Why can’t we just lock her away in some home somewhere?! Or why can’t Tiffany’s sister take her!” Biff continued to rant under his breath as he carried a tray of two old PB and J sandwiches, a bowl of bird seed, and two small glasses of tap water to the locked door at the end of the hallway. Biff honestly had nothing personal against Tiffany’s mother; it just wasn’t good for his image as a CEO at MaylarTech to be playing nursemaid to the senior citizen. “Edith Jean.” Biff cooed as he undid the dead bolt to the master bedroom door and carried in the tray of stale offerings. “I have your breakfast and your lunch here for you and Stormy Knight.” He concluded in a tone normally reserved for communicating with two year old children as he put the full tray down on the little patio table that served as Edith Jean’s dining room. Then, without a further word, Biff left the room, dead bolting it behind him.
“Why did my precious Tiffany marry that dolt?” Edith Jean asked her Indian Ringneck Parakeet, Stormy Knight. “He’s so mean to us! Just look at what he brought us to eat, rotting food! My mother provided better meals for the fifteen of us during the Great Depression!” Edith Jean said as she flipped one of the sandwiches over, checking for both mold and poison before flopping it back down on the dirty plate. “No worries Stormy, we’ll go out for breakfast at Denny’s. That Chef Bart is such a nice guy, giving us a table in the storage room so we can eat together. I wish Tiffany had married him instead of Biff.” Edith Jean ended as she extracted a key from the depths of her brassiere.
Stormy Knight twittered and warbled for Edith Jean happily.
“Yes, after a good breakfast we’ll head over to that house on Thayer. That guy I think works at Biff’s business. We’ll take care of him next. It’ll be fun. Maybe, just maybe, Biff will fear for his life, leave my precious Tiffany, and we’ll be done with him once and for all. Maybe we can even get Tiffany to marry Chef Bart?”
Stormy Knight warbled and puffed up within the confines of her small cage, conveying to her owner a dark but happy thought.
“Well, you’re right. This is getting a bit messy. I can’t believe I had to waste my Ben Gay to get that window open at that last place. People just don’t respect what they’ve got. They take such poor care of all they’ve been blessed with.” Edith Jean rambled on, going off onto a tangent, before turning around and continuing her original thought, “If this next one doesn’t scare Biff into leaving Tiffany for his safety, then we’ll just have to go after Biff, himself.”
Stormy Knight chirped and tweeted.
“Yeah, I hate to hurt my precious Tiffany like that, but we just can’t keep living like this. Maybe with Biff gone we can move to Fort Lauderdale, Florida. I’ve heard all sorts of nice things about the senior facilities there.”
Stormy Knight twittered and warbled the strains of a minuet for Edith Jean which put a smile on the elderly lady’s wrinkled, but well made up face as she toddled precariously to the dead bolted door, stuck the key she’d extracted from her brassiere into the dead bolt, and turned it…..
Just then Buddy and Knuckles showed up and alighted on the same branch the Feathered Four currently were occupying.
“What’s going on?” asked Knuckles.
“Did you request the master of disguise, too?” Buddy asked with a snicker.
“Have you two heard about the Yuppie Murders?” Cecil began and then continued by explaining all that he knew and the Feathered Four had found over their relatively short time on the case. “We need the two of you to follow the old human named Edith Jean and see where she goes. Your grey feathers are much more suited for tailing a human than ours are. We don’t know if this is the Yuppie killer or not, but we need to find out.” Cecil concluded.
“What’ll you guys do?” asked Knuckles
“BabyGirl pilfered the cell phones of the humans that live here. You take one and we’ll take the other. Cecil and Asa already programmed them both so all you have to do is bite the number 1 button and it’ll automatically dial us. Keep us updated and we won’t be too far behind you.” explained Asha.
“Yeah, you follow Edith Jean and we follow you, but from far enough away that we won’t be seen and so that if you need to call us the phone ringing won’t alert any humans to our presence.” Asa clarified.
So, the now six feathered crime fighters sat on the maple branch and waited, but not for long. About an hour after the Yuppies had left an elderly lady with blue hair, turquoise eye shadow and bright red lipstick schemered on her lips and cheeks appeared with a too small of a bird cage in her right hand that was barely housing an Indian Ringneck parakeet. The elderly lady toddled precariously on her varicose vein covered legs as she grabbed her purse in her free hand and toddled out the front door.
“We’re off!” whispered Knuckles and she and Buddy took flight over the roof of the house and toward the front yard.
“We’re off, too!” said Asha as she and the Feathered Four took flight a short 3 minutes later and headed over the roof of the house to the front yard and then to the left and down the street.
“Are you sure we’re headed the right way?” asked BabyGirl to no one in particular as Knuckles and Buddy were long gone and nowhere in sight.
“Yeah, we’re going the right way. Just follow Asa, her Daddy is leading us.” Asha answered as she nodded in the direction of a faint ghostly blur flying just in front of Asa.
They flew with Asa in the lead, for nearly 20 minutes before Asa steered them onto the metal faux Spanish tile roof of a little bungalow. “They’re across the street, in that Victorian house.” whispered Asa to Asha, who’d just landed next to her.
“We just wait for Knuckles to call?” asked Cecil.
“Yeah, we wait.” responded Asa.
Meanwhile, inside the Victorian house Knuckes and Buddy continued to shadow Edith Jean and the Indian Ringneck parakeet she was still carrying in the miniature gilded cage.
“Thank you so much Deary for watching my Stormy Knight for me. I will be back in two days to pick her up. Do you have any questions on how to take care of her?” Edith Jean asked the thirty something man in the pastel blue Izod shirt and white Docker slacks.
“No Nanna, I don’t have any questions. Stormy Knight is a very beautiful little girl. I look forward to getting to know her better.” the thirty something man answered in a tone of voice that most men used when trying to humor a woman.
“Ok Deary, then I’ll be off to my Senior Ladies weekend retreat.” Edith Jean twittered as she kissed the man on the cheek and toddled out of the house.
“If she’s leaving, how is she going to kill the yuppie guy?” asked Buddy.
“Good question.” answered Knuckles, equally as baffled at the most recent turn of events. “But, I think we should stay here and watch the yuppie guy either way. She may come back.”
“Yeah, you go call the Feathered Four and I’ll go put on one of my disguises. I’m thinking rag doll, since he’s got several on that shelf up there.” Buddy began as he nodded toward the shelf of rag dolls just above the living room fire place. “I’ll be able to see into all the rooms fairly clearly but the kitchen, which I’ll only be able to see the middle of from up there. After the call, go into the kitchen and hide up on top of the fridge, it should give you a good view of what I can’t see. We’ll whistle as our signal if we see something. That yuppie guy will assume it’s the bird, ok?” Buddy instructed as he began to waddle in the direction of the living room fire place.
After the call to the Feathered Four the plan was put into motion. Asa broke into one of the upstairs ducts into the attic, which allowed the other three crime fighters to enter the Victorian home unseen and unheard by the homes occupants. Cecil took up guard in the yuppie’s bedroom as he matched the wall paint nearly perfectly. Asha hid behind a stack of books in the upstairs library and BabyGirl hid in the pile of clean but not yet folded laundry in the laundry room.
The rest of the afternoon went by as any other. The yuppie guy went about his normal routine of a bit of cleaning before preparing his dinner. Buddy, who was cleverly disguised as a rag doll on the fire place mantel, nearly gave himself away with a sneeze when the yuppie guy dusted him. Knuckles, the expert private eye she was, managed to duck into one of the buckets of cereal when yuppie guy began dusting a bit too closely to her hiding place.
With cleaning done, and Knuckles tummy happily almost too full, the yuppie guy began preparing his dinner of a Marie Calenders chicken fried steak, gravy, mashed potatoes and corn frozen dinner. It was then something odd happened.
The yuppie guy went over to Stormy Knights cage to give her a bit of fresh apple for her dinner. He opened her door to put the apple slice in and Stormy Knight flew out of her cage and began screaming hysterically as she flew in circles around the yuppie guy. Upon hearing the commotion, the Feathered Four left their posts and headed down the stairs oh-so cautiously and silently. They arrived in the kitchen just in time to witness Stormy Knight flying strait at the yuppie guys head.
“The cell phone!” Asha whispered almost too loudly. “It has a camera on it, Cecil, you make it work!”
With Asa’s help, Cecil opened the flip phone and bit the cameras shutter button as hard as he could. One picture after another the camera dutifully captured the outrageous scene that unfolded before everyone’s eyes, both feathered and human. Stormy Knight continued to circle and dive bomb the yuppie guy, forcing him to back up for his own protection. He kept backing up until he bumped into the kitchen counter and suddenly dropped dead.
Stormy Knight, her job expertly and precisely completed, screeched one last time before heading back into her cage, closing and latching her own door behind her. Too stunned to move for a moment the Feathered Four, Knuckles and Buddy remained in their places. Then, just as Buddy was about to come out of hiding, they heard the front door open. The Feathered Four quickly ducked behind the trash can so as not to be seen by whoever just entered the house. Knuckles once again ducked into the cereal bucket while Buddy continued to pretend to be a rag doll on the fireplace mantel.
“Is Nanna’s little baby girl all done with her job?” asked Edith Jean.
Stormy Knight fluffed her feathers as her way of saying a very proud ‘yes’.
“That’s Nanna’s little angel.” Edith Jean cooed to the Indian ringneck parakeet and she picked up the cage and toddled out the front door on unstable varicose vein covered legs.
“What on earth just happened?” asked Knuckes as she peeked out of the cereal bucket.
“Is the yuppie guy really dead?” asked Buddy as he removed his rag doll disguise and waddled into the kitchen.
“He’s dead alright.” affirmed Asha.
“How?” asked BabyGirl.
“Not a single clue” said Asa
“I just called the police and will leave the cell phone with one of the last pictures on it up on the screen. We’ll have to leave the rest of this case to the humans.” said Cecil.
“Lets go before they arrive.” said Asha and Asa at the same time.

The Disapearance of Diamondmeenuh

2008-03-09T09:05:00.005-07:00

Just posting a little note to let those interested in knowing where I've vanished to.

For approximately the next two weeks you won't hear from me as on March 11, 2008 I'm being admited into the hospital for a double radical mastectomy. It's no biggie and I'll be fine. I just won't be on the computer again till I can use my arms and hands, that's all. My 5 tiels have expressed interest in taking over and blogging and sewing in my absence, but they're still working on figuring out how to do this.

For those interested, I've got one friend who should be updating those interested on a yahoo group as to what's going on with me after the surgery. If you wish to read and are brave enough to read the posts of a bunch of crazy bird people (all of our bird are hormonal right now which makes for some interesting posts!) then go to Flocktalk .

Have a fabulous two weeks!
Julie Anne of Diamondmeenuh Creations

The Asha Chronicles Part 11

2008-03-09T08:58:00.003-07:00

Ah the age old 'sports hero' delema. Steriods and lifestyles we really don't want to hear about as we, as humans in general, like to put our hero's up on a pedistal and think they can do no wrong.

Read on to find out how 2 Amazons, 1 Cockatiel, and 1 Budgie, other wise known as The Feathered Friends, deal with this particular issue.....

The Asha Chronicles Part 11
Feet of Clay
February 26, 2008
Julie Stilwell and Timothy Graham

Asha was spending the day doing her favorite thing: napping in the fresh air.
Her Dad had rolled her cage out to their screen porch a couple of hours before and since then she had had been sitting on one of her many perches slipping into and out of sleep. There is one no-fault way you can tell if a parrot is feeling safe and secure: if they stand on their perch on one foot with the other tucked under a wing. Asha was definitely sitting on one leg.
There was only one tiny dark cloud barely on the horizon of her thoughts. Her Daddy’s birthday was coming up and she wanted to get just the PERFECT gift for him. She had racked her brain but couldn’t think of just the right thing. She had tried asking her Momma but she didn’t understand Parrot language and Asha couldn’t talk human to her. Some parrots could communicate with humans in special circumstances, but Asha and her Momma did not click. Anyway, Asha was slightly jealous of her Daddy’s wife, although she would never admit it.
She peeked through the French Doors into her Daddy’s bedroom where he was watching a baseball game on his 50-inch Hi-Def television. Asha knew it had been a gift to him from his wife and that was a spur for her to try to get him something even better!
Asha was able to figure out that his Braves were two runs down in the bottom of the ninth. There were two runners on base and two outs. His favorite player Johnny Flynn was coming to the plate.
“You can do it Johnny,“ her Daddy hollered. “Show those stupid Mets who’s boss!”
Suddenly Asha heard a loud crack and her Daddy jumped into the air and started doing a crazy dance.
“I knew it” he shouted. “We’re in like Flynn! Braves in first place!” He whooped a couple of more times before collapsing back into his chair.
All of a sudden a light went on inside Asha’s green, yellow, and blue feathered head.
“Humans like mementos of their sports heroes,” Asha said to herself. “If I can get Dad something to remind him of this Johnny Flynn guy, he would really appreciate it. That would really show Momma who is the Top Bird around this house!”
Asha waddled to the family computer while her Dad was still doing war dances and watching replays of his hero’s home run. Asha contacted the other three members of the Feathered Friends and asked them to meet her outside Turner Field in Atlanta at the statue of Hank Aaron.
The next morning Asha found herself perched lightly on the bat of Hammerin’ Hank while she waited for her friends to show up. Before long a small, blue Budgie flew up and took his place on the bill of Aaron’s cap.
“How’s it going Cecil,” Asha asked. “Nice day for a ball game isn’t it?”
“I guess so, but I’m more of a football fan. I always thought that if I had been born a human I would be a big defensive lineman,” Cecil said. The words would almost have been hysterically funny since they came from a bird who barely weighed 41 grams. But Cecil had the spirit of a giant and Asha could well imagine him sacking a quarterback.
Next to arrive was BabyGirl. She was an Amazon like Asha and she took station in Hank’s shoulder as she began preening her feathers.
“This is such a dirty city,” BabyGirl complained. “My boyfriend Ben would turn his beak up at me if he saw how filthy I was!”
The final member of the group to make an appearance was a cockatiel named Asa. Asa was a legendary escape artist who could chew her way through concrete. When she took her place beside Asha on Aaron’s bat she stopped her beak a couple of times on the statue and glared at Asha.
“What is this thing made of?” she asked. “I don’t like perching on things I can’t chew through if need be.”
“I think it is something called bronze,” said Asha. “But that is hardly what is at issue here.”
Asha quickly told her friends what her goal was and they agreed to be of any assistance possible, with one caveat.
“Before we do anything I want something to eat,” said Cecil. “What do they have to eat around here?”
“When at the ballpark, you eat hot dogs,” said Asha and the four took wing and headed for the nearest hot dog vendor.
“OK,” said Cecil. “Why don’t we let BabyGirl distract the vendor while the rest of us grab some dogs?”
“I hate to be a wet blanket, but I don’t eat hot dogs. I’m vegan,” said Asa. “Do you think they might have a tofu dog?”
“I think tofu is illegal in the South,” said BabyGirl.
“Don’t worry Miss Fussy, we’ll get you some popcorn,” hissed Asha.
“What about buns and chili?” wailed Cecil. “You can’t eat hot dogs without chili!”
“Only if you want to be as fat as a housecat,” said Asha as Baby Girl took off to provide a distraction. She perched on top of the food cart and, just as the vendor was adding relish to a customer’s wiener, dropped a nice ball of poop onto the dog.
But the customer and the vendor looked around in shock and finally settled their sights on the offending parrot.
“What the heck is going on here!” shouted the customer. “Can’t you keep these damn pigeons from pooping on the food?”
BabyGirl noticed that the customer had taken out his wallet in order to pay for his hot dog, so she swooped down and grabbed the wallet from his hand and flew over to an adjacent popcorn stand.
“Come and Get me!” the parrot shouted as the customer and the hot dog vendor ran in her direction. At that moment the other three parrots landed on the hot dog cart and grabbed a wiener in each claw and quickly took off to return to their perch on top of Hank’s statue. BabyGirl saw that the thievery had been successful, so she dropped the wallet, grabbed some popcorn for Asa, and followed the others.
“That was fun,” Cecil said between bites of his hot dog. “I think stolen food tastes better than any other kind of food, especially when you steal it from humans!”
“Cecil, I’m afraid that our adventures have permanently corrupted you,” laughed Asha as she daintily took bites from her meal. She would take a bite from one end of the wiener, rotate it with her talons, then take a bite from the other end.
“Yum, yum!” she said. “If only they made Cheetos this large!”
The four finished their meal and then cleaned each other’s feathers of any leftover hot dog or popcorn. When done with that Asa asked the question they all had on their mind.
“Well, just how are we going to get this guy to give us anything?” she asked. “And what do we get? I don’t see us hauling a baseball bat all the way back to Byron, no matter how strong Cecil thinks he is.”
“What I was thinking we might do is try to catch him after the game when he is alone and have Cecil tell him what we want. Then he might agree to come down and give Dad some stuff in person,” Asha said. Among the Four, Cecil was the best at communicating with humans in their own language.
“That does have the benefit of being a plan,” said Asa. “Not a good plan, I guess it is a plan. What do we do in the meantime?”
“I guess we watch the ballgame,” Asha said and the four took wing and perched on top of one of the light towers in right field. They finished eating their hot dogs and popcorn as the crowd finished taking their seats and the game got underway. Flynn had three hits and saved the home team’s win jumping high over the right field fence to rob the visitors of a home run. The crowd began leaving the stadium with smiles on their faces as the Four began looking for a way to get into the Braves’ locker room.
They flew down to the Braves’ dugout and saw a large hamper filled with dirty towels and uniforms. They dove into the hamper and dug themselves a cozy cave under the dirty laundry.
“We better get something good out of this,” whispered BabyGirl. “This stinks!”
A young man soon came up and began wheeling the hamper into the depths of the stadium. He pushed the hamper into the Braves’ locker room where it soon became full to overflowing with sweaty-stained jerseys and uniform pants.
After a while Cecil stuck his head out of the pile of dirty laundry and scoped out the situation. He ducked back under cover and reported to the others.
“That Flynn guy just got through talking to some guys with notebooks and cameras,” Cecil said. “They’re getting ready to leave.”
All four of the Friends poked their heads up just in time to see Flynn head through a door with ‘Training Room” written on it. The rest of the locker room was empty so they flew over to the door and looked inside. Asa noticed a window on the wall nearest to where the birds were standing so they flew up to stand on the ledge so they would have a quick escape route in case they needed it.
Flynn was sitting in what the humans called a whirlpool bath and seemed almost asleep.”
“Hey, Cecil,” Asha whispered. “This might be the chance we were looking for.”
Cecil was about to fly down to speak to Flynn when another human suddenly entered the room. Flynn looked up and gestured for the other man to come over to where he was.
“It’s about time you got here Oscar,” Flynn said. “I’m past due for my next shot.”
“Yeah,” said Oscar. “I noticed that that last home run of yours barely left the park. That would have been an out if it wasn’t for a friendly wind.”
“So quit talking and give me the juice before somebody else comes in,” Flynn said as he got out of the whirlpool. Oscar gave the player an injection in his buttocks.
“What do you want me to do about those Macaws you wanted ready for the Bird Show,” asked Oscar. “They still aren’t as big as you wanted them to be.”
“Did you give them the steroids like I told you to?” asked Flynn.
“Of course I did, but they didn’t react well to them so I cut the dosage. I was afraid some of them night die,” said Oscar.
“Idiot!” said Flynn. “We have a dozen of the damn things and all we need to win is one. Double the dosage! I want the Blue Ribbon this year!”
“You’re the boss,” Oscar said as he hurried from the room.
Flynn laughed to himself as he rubbed the injection site.
“And those stupid fans think it is only idiots like Bonds and Clemens on the juice,” he said to himself. “I go them and that fool Vick beat.”
Asha turned to her friends and said quietly, “We need to get out of there fast.”
They flew back to the Aaron statue where Cecil asked, “What were they doing,” he asked. “Was the Flynn guy sick or something?”
“No,” said Asha. “He wasn’t sick. He was taking what the humans call steroids. It helps make them run faster and hit the ball further. They are illegal.”
“You mean your Dad’s hero is breaking the law so he can play better,” asked Asa.
“That’s exactly what I mean,” said Asha quietly.
“Your Dad won’t like it if he finds out about that, will he,” asked BabyGirl. “What are you going to do?”
Asha just looked at her, wiped a tear from her eye with a wing, and said, “I don’t know, I really don’t know.”
“But what was that about giving steroids to those Macaws,” asked Cecil. “Is that illegal too?
“Yes, it is,” said Asha. “This guy is as dirty as they come. I think we are going to need help to take him down. Let’s get back to my place and get in touch with the Underground.”
The four flew back to Byron in silence as each one thought over what they had just seen. It was bad enough for a human to take an illegal drug, but to give it to a helpless animal? They got angrier and angrier until, by the time they got to Asha’s home, they were all ready to sharpen their talons and go after Flynn.
“The first thing we need to do is contact the Underground,” said Asha. “Cecil, you get on my computer and spread the word.”
“Wait,” said Asa. “Didn’t those guys we met in California, Mark and Clyde, join the Underground?”
“Great idea!” said Asha. “Cecil, see if you can get in touch with them and see if they can come here and give us a hand.”
As it turned out, Mark and Clyde were available and agreed to get on the first airplane for Georgia. They met up with the Four Friends at Turner Field. It was decided that Mark and Clyde would follow Flynn to try and try to get some evidence to prove his drug usage. They were armed with a video camera and their reserve deputy badges. The Four Friends would wait until Oscar showed up again and follow him and find out where he was keeping the macaws.
The four parrots took shifts waiting for Oscar to come back to visit Flynn and he finally did three days later. When he got back into his Hummer the four were stashed in the back seat. The drive was about an hour as Oscar stopped the car and parked. Cecil stuck his head up and reported that they were parked outside a small house trailer and there was a barn nearby.
“The barn is probably where the macaws are,” said Asa. “Let’s fan out and approach it from all directions.”
Asha took the northeast quadrant and was able to find a seam between the wooden boards to see the interior of the barn. What she saw horrified her. There were almost thirty large cages, each of which contained a blue-and-gold macaw. The birds seemed to be well cared for but what made Asha stifle a gasp was Oscar reaching into one cage and pulling out the corpse of one of the macaws.
“Damn,” Oscar said. “I told that idiot Flynn that increasing the dosage would kill these birds. This is the fifth one this week to just drop dead. This just isn’t right.”
Asha quickly flew up to the top of the barn and squawked loudly in order to get the attention of her friends. They all few up to where she was.
“Look, I think we might be able to get this guy on our side,” said Asha. “He seems pretty disgusted with what he is having to do. Cecil, I think we’re going to need some of your communication skills.”
Asha outlined her plan and Cecil flew down and sneaked into the front door of the barn and took up a position behind where Oscar was working cleaning out the cage that had held the recently deceased bird.
“Why did you do that to me?” Cecil asked in his best imitation of a ghost.
“What was that?” Oscar shouted as he spun around too late to see Cecil who had hidden inside a ten-gallon feed container. Oscar looked around the barn but couldn’t see the source of the voice. He finally got back to work on the cage when Cecil stuck his head back up and said, “What have we ever done to you?”
Oscar again tried to find the source of the voice and failed. “This dirty job must be getting to me,” he said to himself. “Lord only knows why I agreed to do this. Getting Flynn his steroids is one thing, but this is totally different. I always loved animals.”
Oscar shook his head but went back to work on the cage. Cecil popped up behind him again and said: “Do the right thing. Help us to live.”
Oscar again spun around was too late to catch his tormentor.
“That is just about enough,” he shouted as he tore the gloves off his hands and threw them to the floor. “I don’t have to live this way, “he shouted as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a cell phone.
“Information,” he said. “I want the number for the Atlanta Parrot Rescue Society,”
Cecil flew back out the door and joined his friends on the roof of the barn. He was congratulated all around as the parrot heard Oscar give the rescue society the directions to the barn. They waited until two vans arrived and the rescue personnel began to carry the cages out of the door. Oscar had left by then, but not before they heard him make another call, this one to the Fulton County District Attorney’s office and asking to speak to the person in charge of steroid abuse cases.
The birds returned to the Aaron statue at Turner Field where they found a note from Mark and Clyde asking them to meet them at a motel out in the suburbs. When The Feathered Four got there they found their two human friends watching-what else-a Star Trek episode on their portable DVD player.
“I tell you Clyde,” Mark was saying as the birds walked through the partially open door. “That Kirk is as smooth as molasses. I’d like you to name just one woman who was on that show that Kirk didn’t put the moves on.”
“Spock’s mother,” Clyde said with a laugh.
“Well, aside from her,” Mark said just as he noticed the four parrots standing just inside the door.
“Hey there little buddies,” Clyde said. “How did things go with you?”
“Some of the macaws passed over the Rainbow Bridge before we could save them, but we were able to get the others to safety,” said Asa. “What about your job?”
“Let me show you,” Mark said as he turned off the DVD player and turned on the television set. “ESPN has been running it about every five minutes.”
When the set came on the birds saw a picture of Flynn sitting in a Jacuzzi with a couple of girls flanking him and a drink in one hand and what appeared to be a marijuana cigarette in the other. He was obviously under the influence of something as he bragged to the girls about taking steroids and other drugs and getting away with it by swapping someone else’s urine when he was required to take a drug test.
“How did you get this?” asked Asha.
“Well, those are our girlfriends, Suzie and Elaine,” said Clyde. “They just showed up at Flynn’s place with the camera in a gym bag and he did all the rest.”
The Four Friends thanked Mark and Clyde and began the short flight back to Byron. They exchanged hugs on the roof of Asha’s house and then the other three took off for their respective homes. Asha feared what she was about to face but knew what she had to do. She slipped onto the porch and through the French Doors into her Dad’s bedroom. He was sitting in his chair with his head in his hands while ESPN played the Flynn tape on his television.
Asha flew up to the back of the chair and gently started preening his hair as she softly cooed into his ear.
“Why did he do it?” her Dad said softly. “Why? I thought he was a hero. I’ll never be able to trust anyone like that again.”
Asha jumped down onto her Dad’s lap and started stroking his cheek with her wing as she continued cooing, wishing she could tell him the words that were in her heart. And, all of a sudden she knew that she could.
“You can trust me and all the others who truly love you,” Asha said. “Trust isn’t earned on the baseball field. It is earned here at home.”
The initial look of shock on her Dad’s face was replaced with one of joy and wonder.
“Truer words were never spoken,” he said as he hugged Asha to his chest. “How about I go make some of that spicy popcorn you love.”

The Asha Chronicles Part 10

2008-03-06T07:48:00.007-08:00

Ah, Episode 10! No need for seat belts in this episode, but I do highly recommend a bikini, sun block and a flame resistant beach towel.

This episode of the Asha Chronicles pays a bit of tribute to the heros of the California Wildfires of 2007. Ok, birds really didn't save the day, but there were plenty of angels during the fire that did have invisible wings. My bestfriend Tina, her budgie Huey Lewis (pictured and yes, the love of my Cleo's life), dog Camry (she's either a small sporty model or she was concieved in the back seat of one....), and cat Cricket (aka Franken-Kitty) had the San Diego fire come within 6 miles of their home. They were forced to evacuate and were one of the lucky ones. They got to go home again.

Of course the following story has a bit of 'literary license', but what else would you expect?

Got your sunblock, bikini and flame resistant towel ready? Good, read away and enjoy!

The Asha Chronicles
Part 10
Flame and Glory

by Julie and Tim
February 23, 2008

Huey Lewis, a handsome turquoise budgie had his face happily buried in a small ‘Huey sized’ dish of Beak Appetite when something caught his attention. His Mom who was sitting and knitting was startled when Huey took off out of his condo and buzzed the top of her head on his way to the flower pot in the window that faced the backyard.
“Huey! A little more altitude next time, please?” Tina said, slightly exasperated at the fact Huey’s ‘lack of altitude’ caused her to drop three stitches.
“Sorry Mommy.” Huey said in English, clear as a bell. Huey, like Cecil, had mastered English and spoke it clearly in front of his human.
Huey landed oh-so precariously on the blossom of a purple petunia and stared intently out the window and off into the distance. He wasn’t sure what he saw, but he knew he saw something. He continued to watch for another moment, the purple petunia bending slightly under his 36 grams of body weight. ‘Was that smoke?’ Huey asked himself. ‘It is smoke. There’s a fire somewhere, I just know it! I need to tell Mom!’ Huey further debated and reasoned.
Huey flew back over to his Mom and landed on her right hand as she continued to knit. “Well, I guess this is better than being buzzed, but it’s not the easiest way to finish this sweater Huey.” She said to him as she got to a stopping point and put her knitting down. “Now what is it Huey?”
Huey knew the English word for ‘fire’, he knew what it was, too, but he also knew it’d be too much of a surprise to his Mom if he just spoke a fluid sentence of ‘Mom there is a fire in the canyon and it’s headed our way, we need to evacuate.’ So, instead Huey took flight again and landed on the top of Camry, big brother dogs head and said several things in budgie to her. Camry, apparently understanding every word, got up and walked over to the window Huey had just vacated, put her paws up on the sill and began barking like crazy.
Tina was first off startled by the fact Huey had actually landed on Camry and then even more startled at Huey riding on Camry across the room to the window, just sat and watched the pair for a moment. She knew Camry wouldn’t hurt Huey, but she watch warily, ready to jump up at a moments notice to rescue him.
While Camry continued to bark at the barely visible smoke plume off in the distance, Huey turned to his Mom and began saying, “Come here you. Come here you. Come here you.”
“What on earth do you see out there?” Tina asked as she got up to see what the commotion was all about. Tina stared out the window as Huey moved from Camry’s head to Tina’s shoulder and began yelling in budgie in her ear. “What?” asked Tina to her Huey.
“Go for a walk.” Huey said clearly in English for the very first time, causing Tina to turn to try and stare at him.
Huey once again resorted to screaming in budgie while Camry’s barking also got louder.
“What on earth…..” Tina began, her voice slowly trailing off as she finally saw what Huey saw, the plume of smoke, which was growing larger and darker by the second. “Oh, my!” was all Tina was able to exclaim while she grabbed Huey from off her shoulder and carried him to his Fort travel cage and popped him rather unceremoniously in and locked the door. Huey, for once, didn’t put up the usual fight. He knew something wasn’t right. He was sure Fire was headed their way.
As Tina quickly grabbed her important stuff, Huey’s important stuff, Camry and Crickets important stuff and stuffed them into her RAV4, Huey closed his eyes and went into a deep meditative state. He and Cleo, Asa’s older sister, had a way of communicating that baffled both Moms, but apparently the pair really did communicate via this deep focus and concentration, so called BSP, for lack of a better term by Tina and Asa’s Granny, Julie.
Meanwhile, in Springdale Arkansas, Cleo sensing Huey’s presence and receiving his message of their plight loud and clear, began shrieking her siren noise at the top of her extremely powerful lungs.
Asa got her big sisters message loud and clear and immediately popped the lock on her cage and went to go start up her Granny’s computer. Her Granny and Grandpa, fortunately, had taken Tyson Parker and Edgar Allan to Tulsa to the avian vet for their yearly physical. Asa, Worthington, and Cleo had gone for their physicals last week. Her Granny wouldn’t be back for 5 hours, since Tulsa was a good 2 hour ride away.
While the computer warmed up and Bird Channel came into view on the screen, Asa quickly popped the locks on both Worthington and Cleo’s cages. “If Huey is right about the fire…”
“…And you know he is.” interrupted Cleo.
“Of course he is. I wasn’t implying anything, just explaining.” Asa snipped back at her sister before continuing, “ As I was saying, we’re going to need the Feathered Four and probably all of their fiblings who are willing to help us with this one. I’ll message both BC and Flocktalk…oh, and Granny has another site, Tailfeathersnetwork.com that she has book marked for bird information. There are a lot of others on there, too.”
“Why do we need to contact so many?” Asked little Worthington. He was the baby of Asa’s flock at just 1 year old. This was also the first time he’d even been asked to join in one of his sister Asa’s adventures.
“Because it’s a fire and fire is a really scary thing. It eats everything in its path and nothing ever survives. There are going to be animals that need help getting away from Fire and humans as well. There is only four of us in the Feathered Four and we can’t be everywhere at once. We are going to need EVERYBIRDIE” Asa ended with emphasis on the word ‘everybirdie’ as her talons flew over her Granny’s computer key board. She left message after message on as many BC pages as she could before sending one seriously odd message via Flocktalk, ‘toast your feathers in sunny California, we need everybirdie now.’ She knew it’d make sense to Maude, head of the Bird Underground, but since there were humans reading, sending and receiving messages on Flocktalk, she had to remain as mysterious as possible. Then off to Tailfeathersnetwork.com to leave a human thing called a thread and post with the same mysterious message as she’d left on Flocktalk. Her Granny had told her that Tailfeathers was a rather cliquish, but she figured if someone could get past she and her Granny weren’t part of the ‘in crowd’ and join in and help, it was worth all the effort it took her to make the computer keys work on their own. Especially since her Granny’s space bar stuck and would leave paragraphs of space before inserting the next word if she didn’t yank up on it with her beak now and then.
“Ok, everyone is messaged and alerted.” Asa concluded as she shut her Granny’s computer down and turned to Cleo before saying, “Did you try to reach my Daddy?”
“I said a prayer the best I could. I do hope he heard me.” Cleo answered as the three fiblings left Springdale for California.

---------------

Out in California the freeways were jammed with residence trying to escape north; just to find out their only escape was west, to the Pacific Ocean. The small plume of smoke had grown into billowing putrid black clouds that rained hot embers down on all it could. The ravenous appetite of the fire grew as it consumed more property, wilderness and lives, both human and animal.
Huey and his family, thanks to Huey’s early warning, had managed to take the freeway north to Julie’s Uncles house in San Pedro long before the evacuation of the San Diego area went into effect. Tina knew San Pedro was well out of any normal burn paths the yearly fires took and that she, Camry, Cricket and Huey would be warmly welcomed. Once there, Huey’s travel condo was placed on the back sun porch with Jason a 40 year old cherry headed conure, and Icarus a 50 year old lilac crowned Amazon. The birds had met once before and were friendly with one another. Huey still just wasn’t sure what to think of their large beaks, but he knew the two seniors were too old to do much more than sit and tell stories about their younger days.
“I need to get out there and try and save my Grandma’s house!” said Huey to the Old Timers.
“We’ll cover for you youngun. No worries, the humans will be way to busy with the TV and human news to pay any attention to us as long as we’re quiet. Go save your home, Huey.” Said Icarus to his little turquoise friend as Huey popped the lock on his travel cage (a trick taught to him by Asa herself. Huey was a very fast learner) and flew out the open window and headed toward home.
The flames leapt and stretched themselves skyward over the dry San Diego canyon they were currently having for an afternoon snack, as if the sun itself was also on its menu. The air was densely thick with smoke and every firefighter and police officer within a 200 mile radius had been called in to help evacuate the humans too stubborn to leave their homes, mostly due to the fact the evacuation shelters didn’t allow pets.
As the police and firefighters both battled the flames on the ground, desperately trying to get to the last few obstinate humans who were still alive, the Feathered Four, Huey, Cleo and Worthington set to work from the air. Their first mission was to guide the terrified, confused and unwillingly abandoned animals to safety.
“Baby Asa, there is an old human school building with a bomb shelter in its basement. Lead who will follow there and they’ll be safe. Rosalie and I will talk to those too scared to move. For some, it’s their time, for others it’s not. She and I will do as we can.”
Asa, Asha, BabyGirl, Worthington and Cecil were startled for a moment at the speech coming from a Yucca plant just to their left.
“I’m glad you got Cleo’s message and mine.” said Huey, who like R.B. Bird and Rosalie, was a special being sent to earth to watch over the humans they’d been assigned to by the Great One. Huey had also messaged R.B. Bird and Rosalie for their help in saving his Grandma’s home, the home is Mom loved and had grown up in, during the long ride to San Pedro.
“Daddy?” asked Asa, knowing full well only one ever called her ‘Baby Asa’, and that was her Daddy, “I’m so glad it’s you and you’re here with us.” Asa paused to look around for a moment before adding, “Where’s Rosalie?”
“She’s inside talking to Bootsie and Muffy, the Siamese cats under the childs bed. They’re too scared to leave what they think is safety.
“Only problem with rescuing cats is they look at you like you’re they’re lunch! We’re alive and breathing, not spirits like you, how are we to get those ‘beasties’ into the shelter?” asked Asha logically.
“Rosalie and I will lead the cats, you seven go head east to the clearing. There is a team of firefighters there and I think they’re going to be in trouble soon. We’ll catch up in a minute.” R.B. Bird concluded as Rosalie appeared with Bootsie and Muffy from around the left side of the house.
Fire was approaching fast, the Seven feathered rescuers could feel the heat of its breath breathing deeply in their faces and R.B. Bird and Rosalie led the cats to safety.
“Cleo, you, Huey and Worthington head north east, but stick close together. Help the other wildlife up there. I think I heard a raccoon family crying in the distance.” instructed BabyGirl.
Team Huey followed BabyGirl’s instructions without argument. It was getting way too hot in their present location to remain put and discuss matters further. The Feathered Four headed east to where the firefighters were battling the heart of the fire.
For what had to be hours, the Chelmsford Group, the Oklahoma Gang, Eva’s Flockily, Knuckles family, and about a dozen other flocks of BC and Flocktalk Birds, proudly spoke fluent clear English to the weary smoke filled firefighters and policemen, guiding them free of the ambush Fire kept trying to set up. Not one life was lost due to the efforts of the BC and Flocktalk birds.
Those wearied by the fire flew to Vegas to Dolly’s house, one of the many humans in the Bird Underground who knew the birds secrets and guarded them closely, where Dolly would feed them nutrition and energy packed bird goodies and, of course, offer those interested, a plate of her famous tomato gravy and noodles. They were allowed to rest up, too before heading back to the San Diego fire.
After a break and an almost too large a plate of Dolly’s tomato gravy and noodles, the Feathered Four found themselves flying a bit too close to the heart of the beast Fire. They were led there by Rosalie, who’d told them of two firefighters who were trapped by Fire and were nearing death.
As the Feathered Four grew closer they thought they could hear Fire laugh in triumph of yet another kill. Fire, in too soon of a celebration, as the firefighters at this point were still very much alive, shot its flames up a good 100 feet in the air and belched out a deep thicker than pea soup cloud of acrid black smoke. The Feathered Four lost their way. The smoke was too thick for them to see. Cecil coughed as he tried to take in a breath, but got nothing but dense smoke instead.
“What now?” asked Asha as she bumped into a tree branch and for her safety, alighted there.
“Not sure.” said BabyGirl as she perched next to Asha.
“My Daddy will find us and so will Rosalie. We’ll be fine.” Asa said hopefully as she, too sat down on the branch to wait.
Then, as if someone had turned off the smoke machine, the air cleared as Rosalie appeared in her normal spirit form before them. “This way, the firefighters are over here.” she said simply and her translucent form turned and let the Feathered Four through the now miraculously clear air, dense, all consuming black smoke still everywhere but the bubble of ‘clear’ that Rosalie had created for them.
Upon reaching a small area barren of anything but the two smoke encrusted men in firefighting gear, Rosalie approached them and spoke clearly to them in English, “Please, I know this is unusual for you Humans to see me and hear me, but please follow my flockily to safety.” Rosalie pleaded as The Feathered Four caught up to her.
“Hi, I’m Cecil, the King of All Budgies.” Cecil politely introduced.
“Cecil!” scolded Asha, “All that matters is that they listen to us and follow us and Rosalie out of here!”
“Yes, please get up if you can and follow us and we’ll lead you out of here.” Asa reaffirmed.
“Clyde, do you hear what I hear or have I eaten too much smoke?” Said the bigger of the two firefighters to the smaller.
“If you mean that there are four live parrots in front of us talking and a ghost bird, also talking, telling us to follow them out of here to safety. Yeah, Mark, I hear them, too.”
“You know, this reminds me of that Star Trek episode…um…The Tholian Web, I believe it was called, where they thought Kirk was dead but his ghost kept popping up but it turned out he was really alive.” said Mark.
“Yeah, me too. In that episode they strapped Uhuru down in the sickbay when she saw Kirk. They thought she was crazy and that’s exactly what they’ll say about us, too. Birds talking, ghost bird talking. I think I’d strap us down right now if I was sure this was all really happening.” said Clyde.
“But, we’re both seeing all this, so does that make us both crazy?”asked Mark.
“Well, which is crazier, seeing a Dead Captain Kirk or a ghostly bird and her flock?” Clyde asked Mark right back.
“I don’t know, Clyde. Kirk was just a television character but talking birds are really weird. I’d say we’re more likely to see Kirk.” Mark reasoned back.
“Do firefighter humans always act so weird?” Asked BabyGirl to the rest of the Feathered Four. “You’d think they’d just want to get out of here and would just simply get up and follow us!”
Clyde and Mark continued their debate, completely ignoring BabyGirls comment.
“Too bad Spock isn’t here to tell us what the logical thing to do would be.” Clyde added as he looked from Marks smoke caked face to the four live bird and one ghost bird perched on a small bush directly in front of them. Fire trying, without success to penetrate the bubble of clear clean air that Rosalie’s spirit had created around them.
“We don’t need Spock to deal with talking birds, we need Dr. McCoy and a good shot of burbon.” Mark added with a faint smile, his white teeth peeking out from in between black soot covered lips.
“You know, you two can continue this debate from now until the cows come home, or you can just get up and follow us.” Asha interrupted, fed up and tired of the conversation and beginning to feel the heat of Fire as Rosalie’s strength began to slowly fade. “Now, get up off your tail feathers and MOVE IT or I’ll be forced to Ninja me some firefighters into next week!” Asha ended a bit louder and a bit angrier than necessary.
“Rosalie can’t hold this bubble of clean air for long. She doesn’t have a lot of strength back her over the Rainbow Bridge. For all our safety, please just come with us.” Asa prodded.
“Follow me! The King Budgie of the Great Budgie Divide!” Cecil chimed in in his most macho tone as he took flight and led the way out of the heart of Fire.
Once out of the heart of Fire and into the safety of one of the evacuation centers set up especially for firefighters the Feathered Four caught their breaths on a branch of a dogwood tree just outside. They’d only perched for about 2 minutes when Huey, Cleo and Worthington flew up to them in a total panic.
“MY HOUSE!!” Huey cried, “THE FIRE IS ALMOST UP TO MY BACK FENCE!!! WE’VE GOTTA SAVE MY HOUSE!!” the little turquoise budgie cried.
“Asa, we don’t know what to do.” Cleo explained in a tone not much calmer than her bonded forever mate, Huey’s.
“Let’s go!” said Asha as she took off for Huey’s home.
Once there, the Feathered Four, Huey, Cleo and Worthington were greeted by the second spirit bird from over the Rainbow Bridge, Asa’s father, R.B. Bird. His ghost like form was perched in stately form on Huey’s back yard fence. As the seven parrots approached they could hear R.B. Bird actually talking to Fire.
“This is my family you’re threatening. It was my daughter, my only surviving daughter, you tried to take the life of back in the canyon. Those are her special friends you singed the feathers of. And, nobody, but nobody messes with my family, you got that Fire?” R.B. Bird said in his most and very intimidating tone.
Fire’s spirit flickered for a moment, unsure of what to think. It’d never been spoken to like that before and especially not by a silly bird. But, something told Fire spirit that this particular bird was not one to mess with. Fire spirit had, for the first time in it’s current life, a life given to it by an 8 year old arsonist who just wanted to see the pretty posy burn, felt a twinge of fear.
That twinge of fear Fire spirit felt was very real. R.B. Bird, when he was alive, was willing to give his life without question for his human and his flock. Being spirit himself hadn’t lessoned his desire to protect. R.B. Bird knew if he could once again give his life to save Huey’s home, he would. He had no life left to give, so he called down his elder sister, Moana, also a resident of the Rainbow Bridge, and Rosalie. With the three spirit birds on Huey’s back yard fence and Fire spirit directly in front of them, daring them to even try to stop it, they began to flap their wings as hard as they could.
Asa, being very much her Daddy’s little girl, understood exactly what her father had in mind and flew up to the fence and began flapping too. Fire spirit millimeters from her breast feathers and millimeters from taking her life.
Undaunted, but totally terrified at the same time, Asa called to Asha, BabyGirl and Cecil, “Come on! It’s going to take all of us to save this house!”
“Bonzai!!!!” Yelled Cecil as he, too threw caution to the wind and landed on the fence and began flapping.
BabyGirl sensed Asha’s fear and said to her as comforting as she could, “You’ve just stared death in the face twice and survived. What’s once more?”
With a deep sigh, Asha and BabyGirl joined the others on the fence and began flapping as hard as they could. Fire spirit refusing to give up and continuing to lick their breast feathers in an attempt to send the heroes over the Rainbow Bridge.
“You’re not taking my Mom and Grandma’s house!” yelled Huey and Cleo at the exact same time as they and Worthington also alighted on the fence and began flapping.
Undaunted, Fire spirit continued to fight.
A moment later a thunderous flapping of wings could be heard as the Chelmsford Gang, Eva’s Flockily, Stubby, Asha’s fiancé and his flock as well as several other flockilies of parrots all joined them on the fence, flapping as hard as they could. Fire spirit couldn’t hold on. Slowly but surely Fire began to back away from Huey’s home. As the massive flock of parrots continued flapping with all their might, Fire spirit began to grow smaller. Then, just when the massive flock began to feel fatigued from all the flapping, the Fire spirit gave up the ghost and extinguished itself. Nothing was left but a small puddle of smoldering embers. The San Diego Canyon fire was out.
The army of parrots soon scattered. Some returned to their homes while others went back to the fire lines to make certain that all abandoned animals had been rescued. After a while the only parrots left were Huey and the Feathered Friends.
“Thank you for saving my home,” Huey said. “It was a wonderful thing you did. How can I possibly repay you?”
“Well, that is kind of the same question we have too,” came a human voice from around the corner of the house as Mark and Clyde walked up to the seven birds.
“You saved our lives,” said Clyde. “Everyone else had abandoned us yet you birds risked your lives to save us. Why did you all do that?”
The birds looked at each other, none of them really having an answer to the human’s question until Asa cleared her throat. “My Daddy always told me that, deep down, the only difference in all of us is that some have feathers and others have skin,” Asa said. “As for what you can do to repay us, just remember that one fact. All life is sacred.”
Clyde and Mark shook their heads in agreement and turned to leave. As they walked away Mark grabbed Clyde’s shoulder and asked: “Didn’t Kirk say something like that in one of those second season episodes?”
“No, you idiot,” scoffed Clyde. “It was Spock and it was in the third season.”
Asha shook her head as the two walked away. “Well, as those humans would say, it is time for us to boldly go where no parrot has ever gown before,” she said with a grin.
“To heck with that,” said Cecil. “I’m going home and I sincerely hope it is very cold there. I’ve been too warm for too long. Anyway, scorched feathers stink.”
The Four with Cleo and Worthington took off for their respective homes as Huey surveyed his home with a smile. It had survived Fire. Huey flew over the now no longer smoldering embers of Fire, just to make sure it was really gone before taking off for San Pedro to get his Mom, Camry and even Cricket and tell them it was time to go home.

The Asha Chronicles---Part 9

2008-03-02T09:31:00.002-08:00

With spring right around the corner and craft fairs and craft shows getting ready to sprout out of the ground like a field over populated with wildflowers, and the AREtsy Street Team posting a very complete list of must read craft show tips, I felt now was a good time to post Part 9 of the Asha Chronicles. So, with out further ado, let the show begin!

The Asha Chronicles Part 9
Freedom Isn’t Necessarily Free
By Julie and Tim
February 21, 2008

Aunt Eva’s place was just what the doctor ordered for Asha and her frazzled family. After having been chased all the way from Georgia to Charleston, South Carolina, but a flock of Lovebirds and Asha’s stalker Otto, a prescription of rest and relaxation was in order.
Asha and her Dad and Mom immediately fell in love with Eva and her husband Dan. It seemed like they had known each other all of their lives and they quickly settled in and began sharing stories; most of which began and ended with something related to parrots.
Asha also quickly settled in with Eva’s flock. The four : Leah Danielle Sharon, a Hawkhead Parrot; PaPa, a Ringneck Dove; TidBit, a Green Cheek Conure; and Ruby, a young but majestic Green Wing McCaw; immediately fell in love with the frazzled Amazon and they all became flockmates in no time.
That evening Asha’s Dad took her for a walk along the Greenway behind Eva’s home and Asha got a big kick out of it, although she found herself subconsciously looking for Otto and his henchbirds on each overhanging limb.
Eva announced the next morning that she had a treat lined up for everyone on the coming Saturday.
“I read in the newspaper that there will be an Exotic Bird Fair in Charleston over the weekend at the North Charleston Coliseum,” Eva said. “I figured that we could pack up all the birds and go see what they have on display. It might be a good chance to stock up on food and toys for our fids.”
Everyone agreed and when Saturday morning came the birds were all packed into their traveling cages and the four humans got into their cars and headed for downtown Charleston. Charleston is one of the most beautiful cities in the country. Along with being a thriving seaport, it has been able to hang onto a lot of the antebellum charm of the Old South.
On the way to the convention Center Eva took Asha and her family for a tour of some of the magnificent mansions that survived the Civil War and which have been painstakenly preserved. Asha’s parents were fascinated by the combination of progress and love for history that the city exhibited.
When they arrived at the Coliseum the humans took the travel cages out of their cars and carried them into the building where they purchased their tickets and entered the exhibition hall. Their senses were immediately assaulted by the sound and smell of hundreds of birds. All along the walls and in aisles traversing the hall were cages of birds and tables filled with all sorts of items of interest to bird owners.
“We’ll never be able to see all of this,” said Asha’s Dad. “This place is huge!”
Eva suggested that they split up and plan to meet together in the center of the hall in one hour and compare notes.
As Asha’s Dad carried her traveling cage down the first aisle of caged birds Asha was stunned by the sight of the birds inside. To her they seemed lifeless and extremely bored. Several times she tried to call to them but none paid any attention to her. They all seemed drained of life. She also noticed that the larger birds were kept in cages that were way too small for them. Noble McCaws were housed in cages that barely allowed them to stretch out their long tail feathers. Anger soon began to build in her chest as she saw cage after cage inhabited by birds who seemed totally oblivious to what was going on in the world outside their cages.
He Dad stopped in front of a cage containing a pair of double-yellow headed Amazons. Asha looked at the birds and she was shocked to see how large they were. They were at least twice the size she was. She thought to herself that they would probably be unable to fly even if they had the chance.
Asha’s Dad called the owner of the birds over to the cage.
“Just what do you feed these birds?” he asked.
“We feed them bird seed,” the man answered.
“Don’t you know that bird seed is bad for caged birds if that is all you feed them?” Asha’s Dad responded with growing anger in his voice. “That is why they are so fat. You need to feed them nutritionally complete pellets along with vegetables and fruits. A seed diet will lead to them getting liver disease and other problems.”
“We feed them what they like, and if you’ll excuse me,” the man said as he walked away hurriedly.
Asha looked at her Dad and saw a growing sorrow in his face.
“How could they treat these birds like this,” he said to his wife. “They are intelligent creatures and they are being treated like merchandise at grocery store. Let’s find the others, I think I want to go.”
They soon found Eva and her family in the middle of the hall and it was obvious that they had not enjoyed their visit to the Fair either.
“I am so sorry,” said a contrite Eva. “I had no idea they were treating the birds like this. Let’s get out of here, please.”
The four humans hurried out of the hall and sat down together beside a small fountain in front of the Coliseum.
“This is not good,” said Dan. “I knew they sold birds at these Fairs, but I assumed they were regulated in some way and they treated the animals with decency and respect. They would be better off being sold at that Wal-Mart across the parking lot. I would hate to see what an Avian Veterinarian would say if they saw that.”
“Well, I found out the name of the company that puts this thing on and I assure you that they will hear a few choice words from me,” Asha’s Dad said. “I’m sure that most of the people in there selling food and toys were fine bird lovers, but those breeders had no excuse to treat those birds that way.”
The four humans agreed to return to Eva’s house and settle down. When they got back they put the birds into their cages and went into the kitchen. Asha quickly called the other birds together.
“We’ve got to do something about this,” she said with cold fury in her voice. “Writing letters to some company isn’t enough. We have to do something to get those birds out of there. The first thing we need to do is get in touch with my three friends Asa, Cecil, and BabyGirl.”
Ahsa turned to Eva’s Hawkhead Leah.
“Leah, you need to get on your momma’s computer and start getting the message out. We need to have those three here first thing in the morning,” Asha said. She then snapped a pair of talons as if she had just had a thought.
“I also need you to get word to an old friend of mine up in Virginia,” she said with a smile. “I need Beavis’ wisdom now more than ever.”
Leah slipped into the home office and started sending out emails to the other three members of the Feathered Friends and Asha’s friend Beavis. Beavis, an elderly but spunky Quaker Parrot, had just got home from Las Vegas where he had gotten into the snorting Cheerios habit. The Four Friends had rescued him and when they left he was in a birdie rehab center run by the mysterious Parrot Underground.
The new friends spent the rest of the evening eating, sleeping, and getting to know each other better. Most people would have been surprised to see birds of five very distinct species get along so well together. But birds aren’t people, and they did not even think about it, they just quickly bonded and were soon telling each other their life stories.
Around dawn TidBit awoke to hear a scratching on a window and flew over to let a small, green Quaker Parrot into the room. Asha’s face lit up like a beacon when she saw Beavis and she rushed over to wrap him in her wings.
“It is so good to see you old friend,” she told the newcomer. “I’m glad to see you are back to your old self. Why, you don’t look a day over 20.”
“I may not look it, but I feel every one of my 28 years,” Beavis said as he preened the side of Asha’s head with one of his talons. “What is going on that is so important that a parrot my age has to fly down here from Virginia, Although I shouldn’t complain too much, the warmer weather does wonders for my arthritis.”
“You just sit here and rest up and I’ll tell the whole story when everyone gets here,” Asha said.
The other three Feathered Friends arrived over the course of the morning and around noon they moved outside to a secluded spot along the Greenway and Asha began telling them about the trip to the Bird Fair and her plans to release the birds.
“The Fair ends this afternoon so we need to get going as soon as possible before those breeders start packing up and leaving,” Asha said. “The sooner we get there the more birds we can save.”
“That just makes my blood boil,” said Cecil. He was just a Budgie, but with the heart of an Eagle. “Packing those poor birds into those tiny cages and then selling them like they weren’t living things. We need to do something and do it fast.”
“I agree,” said BabyGirl. She was an Orange Wing Amazon. Her sweet looks belied a hot temper. “This is just horrible. Some of those birds are probably dying from being treated like that. Let’s get going!”
Asha turned to start giving instruction when she noticed that both Asa and Beavis were holding back and looking at each other.
“What is the matter you two? Don’t you see what is at stake here? We got to get moving. Time is wasting,” Asha shouted.
“Maybe we need to think this through a little better,” said Asa. She was a Cockatiel who could chew through concrete and crack any lock.
“My flockmate Tyson Parker was one of a group of cockatiels who were thrown out by their owners when they moved and decided they didn’t need to worry about their birds anymore,” Asa said. “Tyson was lucky enough to be found by my granny but others in his flock were not so lucky. They died.”
“What has that got to do with this situation?” asked a frustrated Asha.
“Tyson and his flockmates had been raised in captivity from eggs,” said Asa. “They knew nothing about living in the wild. When they were suddenly thrust into a situation where they had to find their own food and shelter they didn’t know what to do. They died of exposure or hunger.”
“Don’t you see Asha,” interjected Beavis. “Those birds down at the Coliseum are the same way. They may not be in a good situation and it may hurt your heart to see them like that, but you have to look at the alternative. What happens if you go and open all their cages and tell them to fly off and live free?
“Most of them have probably had their wings clipped and they couldn’t fly. They would probably waddle out the door and get run over by a truck,” Beavis said. “If they dodged the trucks, where would they find food? Where would they keep warm at night? Do you think Eva here can feed all of those birds if they decided to follow you back here?”
Asha’s face grew red with anger but them she slowly calmed down as she began to think about what Asa and Beavis had said.
“You have a good heart Asha,” said Asa. “We know you just want to help those birds. But just tossing them out into the cold, cruel world would not be doing them any favors.”
“We might just have to admit that those birds are beyond our help,” Beavis said mournfully. “Probably the best we can do is swear we will do our best to make sure that the same thing won’t happen to another generation of birds.”
“I just don’t know,” Asha said. “I understand what you say, but it just doesn’t seem right. It just doesn’t seem right!”
Suddenly the small clearing they were standing in was covered with a cool, dim light. In the middle of the light they just barely make out the form of a stately and beautiful Blue & Gold McCaw.
“Rosalie!” shouted TidBit. “It’s Rosalie!”
The birds just stood in awe. Rose had been one of Eva’s companion birds until she went over the Rainbow Bridge several months earlier. Rose had been one of the most popular birds on the Bird Channel and was a legend in the avian community.
“Asha, come closer. I want to speak to you,” the spectral form of Rosalie said.
Asha moved closer to the vision, scarcely trusting her sight. “Is that really you Rose? Is it really you?”
“Yes it is me, dear Asha. I cannot stay here for long. I have many duties over the Bridge and it takes a lot of energy to come here like this,” Rosalie said. “As Asa said, your urge to help shows you have a good heart, but you must use your mind as well. You have trusted the wisdom of Beavis and Asa in the past, do so now. If you free those birds you will be sending many of them to the Bridge before their time.”
“OK Rose,” Asha said with a bowed head. “I will follow their advice no matter how hard it will be to stand aside.”
“Rosalie,” stammered Beavis. “Could I ask you a question?”
“Certainly Yoda Beavis, you may ask me anything you want,” Rosalie said.
“I am an old parrot, many years past my prime,” Beavis said. “Just what is it like beyond the Rainbow Bridge. Is it as happy a place as I hear? Will I be young again? Will I see my mama when it is her time to pass over?”
“Yes to all of those questions Beavis,” said Rosalie with a smile. “But don’t be so anxious. Your time on this Earth is not yet up. You will have other opportunities to give advice to these young birds.”
The vision of Rosalie faded with the light. The birds all stood in a circle looking at each other as if they were afraid to break the silence.
Suddenly Asha broke the mood with a laugh as she slapped her leg with a wing.
“Well, I’ll tell you what I will do,” she said as she got ready to rocket into the air. “I’m flying down to that dang Coliseum and poop on the windshields of every one of those stupid breeders. How about that, old wise Yoda?”
“The Force will truly be with you on that one,” said Beavis with a smile. “As will I!”

Ah! Literary Tag! Oh, so intellectual!

2008-02-29T15:24:00.005-08:00

While nonchalantly parusing TwistedPurl's blog to check out the beautiful roving created by her little ones I noticed I got TAGED!!!

The rules I and those I tag must follow are:

1. Pick up the nearest book of at least 123 pages

2. open the book to page 123

3. find the fifth sentance

4. post the next three sentances

5. tag 5 other people

Well, the first book I grabbed doesn't count....yet....it was the book I wrote that won't be published till I get to Washington, so you will be spared an excerpt of The Great Cheeseball Massacre and I'll torture you with The Poe Shadow by Matthew Pearl instead. Love Poe, named my 2 year old after him, too due to the little guy being my 13th tiel and arriving home on a dark and stormy day. The little angel is Edgar Allan Chirp....Ok, onto the book:

"You shall think this a contradiction, but all people need rules to live, and criminals can only have a few---loyalty is one they favor. The Baron had been married before, but the women were said to have motives ranging from simple love to, at one time in his life, his great wealth. It remains anyone's guess whether with the loyalty of Bonjour also came love, or one superseded the other, or they mingled together in some heartless combination."

Ok, my turn to tag. I tag Denise, Jeanetta of Splendid-Things, Lovemeknotcreations, Sunny of The beehive, and Anne of Casserole

The Asha Chronicles---Part 8

2008-02-28T15:21:00.004-08:00

In this daring, edge of your seat adventure of The Feathered Four, you'll get to meet a few of the family members of The Feathered Four. Although Asha is a only fid (fid= bird person term for 'feathered kid') Cecil and Asa both have fiblings (fiblings= bird person term for 'feathered siblings'). Cecil is a realtively proud big brother to Irwin, a medium blue budgie (Cecil is sky/baby blue in color). And, Asa is the head of her flock of 4 other tiels. The senior of Asa's flock is Cleo Chaquita Pattee who just happens to be madly in love with a little blue budgie named Huey Lewis. A fourth blue budgie also makes his debut in this episode, Theodore. He's a sweet and very tollerant little guy who in real life has to put up with two tiels, Dito and Raptor, who constantly invade his cage uninvited.

Ok, you've now been properly introduced to The Blue Budgie Brigade, so onto the story.....hope your seat belts are still fastened from Part 7.

You've been warned.......

The Asha Chronicles
Part 8
by Julie Anne and Tim
February 20, 2008

False Sense of Security

The hysterical woman paced back and forth in the vets private office. Her husband of 53 years had done all in his power to console his beloved, but having not been able to, sat silently in the corner of the room in the faux leather chair and just prayed, mumbling under his breath, for his wifes sake, that Otto would live.
“I’m positive I locked his cage!” the woman sobbed uncontrollably as she took two more laps back and forth across the small cluttered room. “How on earth did he get loose! How on earth did he land on that broken wooden spoon?!” she wailed as she tossed her hands up in the air as if the motion would miraculously answer her questions.
“Mrs. Paramour,” the vet began as he entered the room, his face solemn and bearing the tell-tale signs of three hours of hard grueling surgery on the small delicate blue fronted Amazon parrot, “Please sit down.” he instructed as he made himself as comfortable as he could behind his cluttered desk.
“HE’S DEAD!!!!!!!!” Mrs. Paramour wailed at a decibel the dogs out in the waiting room, half way across the building, heard loud and clear, as she collapsed into a dramatic heap onto the linoleum floor.
“Is our Otto Baby dead?” asked the previously silent Mr. Paramour from the faux leather chair while his wife continued to wail and sob on the floor.
Figuring, as Mr. Paramour had, that consoling Mrs. Paramour was pointless, the vet continued with what he had to say to Mr. Paramour, “Otto has survived. That little bird has one serious will to live. It’s still touch and go and will continue to be so for probably the next few days. Otto is still quite groggy from the anesthesia and I’d like for either you or Mrs. Paramour to come back and talk to him for a while. It’ll help him to recover knowing his family is here beside him.” The vet paused to collect his thoughts as Mrs. Paramour began to settle down a bit, obviously not sure if she really heard her Otto Baby was still alive. The vet continued, “It’s a really odd wound. It looks like he was impaled with a knife of some sort and not the broken handle of a wooden spoon, but he was lucky, the spoon missed his heart by a mere hairs width as well as his main arteries. He did lose most of his blood volume however, as well as a severely broken wing and leg. We had to amputate both to preserve what blood volume he had left. Otto will be disabled, but should be able to learn to scoot around on a wheelchair for birds, with no problem.”
“Wheelchair for birds?” Mr. Paramour queried.
“It’s a small devise that will strap to and around his body with a post and a wheel at the end so it’ll roll. The Gabriel Foundation has made a few and one of their representatives will contact you in a week, after Otto has gotten through this critical period and survived.”
“Oh, mercy me! Thank the heavens and Mother Mary!!” Mrs. Paramour wailed less hysterically at the news her baby boy had survived and would live.

__________

Meanwhile, back in Byron Georgia, Asha was still very much on edge after her ordeal with Otto. The slightest sounds caused her to start. Because Asa’s Granny was in the hospital having surgery and her Grandpa didn’t pay any attention to her or her flock but to wake them up and put them to bed, Asa knew she had plenty of freedom for the next three days. This freedom she used to her full advantage by spending her days with Asha and reassuring her best friend all would be ok and that she was safe now that Otto was dead and gone.
“I don’t know,” began Asha, “I just have one of those weird feelings this isn’t over just yet.”
“Well, even if it isn’t over yet, I’m here now and we’re going to get you through the recovery process. Stubby’s Mom is going on vacation in two days and by the time my Granny gets home from the hospital, Stubby will be here to sit with you and take care of you. Then, all you’ll have to worry about is your heart skipping a beat due to love.” Asa ended with smirk.
“Watch it, Convicts Chick! I may be a bit of a nervous wreck, but my ninja skills are still in perfect form.” Asha said with a ninja kick that just missed her companions head feathers just to emphasize her point.
“Have you heard back from BabyGirl?” asked Asa as she helped Asha preen a blue feather that had gone awry in the ‘ninja skills’ demonstration.
“Yeah, I have. BabyGirl is keeping an ear to the Underground to see what the news is on Otto. I did hate having to hurt his humans like that. I’m sure it wasn’t their fault Otto was bad. But nothing really yet.”
“What about Cecils birthday party? Is BabyGirl setting that up?”
“Yeah, I think that’s keeping her busier than keeping an ear on the Underground. You know BabyGirl and her parties.”
Asa giggled and the two lady birds settled down side by side for a nap.
It was then that a pigeon named Jorge crashed into Asha’s porch screening, startling both girls out of several feathers.
“BBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!” Asa shrieked as she went instantly and automatically into Psyco Birdie Mode and charged the equally startled Jorge.
“DIE VARMIT!” Asha shrieked at the same time as Asa beeped, fear turned into amazing ninja strength.
“WAIT!!!! I BRING NEWS!!!! I’M JUST A CARRIER PIGEON NAMED JORGE!!! I WON’T HURT ANYONE!!” Jorge hollered over Asa’s ear splitting ‘beep’, but a split second too late.
Asa hit the porch screen with such furry that she sliced through it like hot butter with her razor sharp beak, leaping upon the poor startled harmless Jorge and pinning him to the dirt in one move. Asha, who was just a split second behind Asa, sat on Jorges tail for good measure.
“I’m…..just ……a……..*cough*….carrier pigeon.” Jorge choked out. Asa was pressing a bit hard on his breast bone and Jorge was having a bit of trouble breathing. “I…..bring…*cough-cough*…..a message from Psychotic Maude….*cough*…she says to listen to the Underground…*cough*….contact Dolly….” Jorge concluded, having gotten out the message he’d been asked to deliver.
Asa slowly got up off of Jorge, but remained on guard ‘just in case’. Asha, on the other hand, remained on Jorges tail, ‘just in case’.
“Who’s Psychotic Maude?” asked Asha as Jorge took several really deep breaths, trying to recapture what Asa had just squeezed out of him.
“Psychotic Maude is the Greater Vasa that lives up in Painesville Ohio. She’s one of the messengers of the Underground. She actually is the one who runs the Underground. No messages get through to its recipient without her making sure it’s not some sort of human trap.” Jorge explained as Asha slowly removed her razor sharp talons from his now well frazzled tail. Jorge puffed and fluffed his feathers in a futile attempt to get them back into perfect flying order. He needed a good preening, he thought to himself as he continued, “Dolly is the one holding the message for you, Miss Asha.” Jorge concluded politely and he took flight and in a rather zig-zag pattern as he made his way due north to his next delivery point.
“So, off we fly to Vegas?” Asha asked hopefully. And, not just because she missed her fiancé Stubby, but also because she wasn’t sure how else they would contact Dolly since Dolly wasn’t on BC due to being a human instead of a bird.
“No, I can dial her number, so we can just call her.” Asa said as she climbed back in through the hole she and Asha had created in the window screen.
“Hi AsaMina Sura!” Dolly happily greeted the beep she heard on the other end of the phone line. Although Asa and the Feathered Four spoke perfect English to one another, they spoke in their normal chirps, tweets, and other such standard bird noises to their and other humans. Asa, just to be different, beeped instead of tweeting, chirping or making other such bird noises. Because of this, Dolly always instantly recognized her God-Birdie when she was on the phone.
“Beep. Beep-Beep.” said Asa sweetly
“Asa, I just received this news and it’s not good. Otto has survived his injuries.” Dolly began.
“BEEP!?” Asa inquired incredulously.
“What?” asked Asha, not having heard Dolly’s end of the conversation.
“Yeah, none of us in the Underground could believe it either. Psychotic Maude went totally psycho is currently acting sticky sweet to her human and Jake. Otto is disabled however, and won’t ever fly again. He lost a wing and a leg and he’s confined to a recovery cage for the rest of his hopefully miserable life.” Dolly continued to explain.
“Beep, Beep, Bee-Beep?” asked Asa.
“That’s the message, we don’t know if Asha is still in danger or not. None of us think she is, but we’ve sent Timothy and his wife tickets to the week long bird fair in South Carolina. Eva and her flock will put the threesome up for the whole week. We, the Underground, figure this is the safest thing for Asha at the moment, just until we know what’s going on with Otto.”
“Beep?” asked Asa.
“No, they didn’t do a lobotomy on him that we’re aware of.” Dolly giggled as she hung up the phone.
Asa had Asha, who being an Amazon instead of a tiel, and was heavier than she, stand on the phones ‘hang up button’ so Asa could make one more phone call.
“Are you going to tell me what Dolly said or do I have to beat it out of you?” said Asha.
“One more phone call, then I will.” said Asa as she dialed the number for Bubbers Repair and Fix Everything and hired Bubber to come over and fix the screen. Bubbers Repair and Fix Everything was part of the Underground. Bubber was a man owned by four scarlet macaws that lived out in the peach orchard just north of Byron. He was the ‘go-to’ human when you needed a quick repair before your human arrived home. BabyGirl had used them, the Missouri branch of course, after every party she threw.
Asa explained to Asha her conversation with Dolly. Just as she finished telling Asha about Otto, Bubber arrived and began the repair of the torn patio screen.
“I’ll stay just till I hear your dads SUV drive up, then I’ll have to fly home. Your dad has been already instructed to take you to Auntie Eva’s for the week, so you won’t need me anymore.” Asa continued as Bubber finished the repair and silently slipped away.
“I can’t believe Otto is alive.” Asha shivered.
“Yeah, neither can I.” said Asa with a shiver and a deep sigh. It was just then that Asha’s Dad pulled his SUV into the driveway. “I’ll head out, Asha, you’ll be safe.” Asa said, not sure if her best friend really would be or not. Asa, too had an odd feeling of foreboding in the pit of her stomach.
“Asha Angel,” Asha’s Dad cooed to his little girl as he entered the house, “We’re going to South Carolina to visit Auntie Eva and your cousins Ruby, Leah and Halon.”
Asha shifted her weight on her perch before saying to her Daddy a very happy, clear and welcoming, “Antidisestablishmentarianism tickle tickle.”
“I love you too Asha Baby.” responded her Daddy as he headed down the hall to pack his bags. “We’ll be driving up and we’ll be in the truck for only about four and a half hours, so it shouldn’t be too hard on you. We’ll bring you some almonds to shell and for me to vacuum up later, ok?” Asha’s Dad said, calling from the bedroom to the screened porch where Asha was sitting on top of her cage.
Asha’s foreboding feeling began to intensify. She needed Stubby. She wanted to be in Vegas with him. She wanted her Daddy to turn on the computer so she could leave her fiancé a message on BC.
Meanwhile, back at Asa’s Granny’s house, Asa was hard at work on the computer leaving message after message for Cecil and BabyGirl. She knew something was going to happen, she could feel it, but she couldn’t explain what was to happen. Otto was disabled now, he couldn’t fly, what kind of threat could he be?
-----------------

In suburban Atlanta Otto sat on his belly in his recovery incubator and boy was he mad. “How on earth could that stupid female and that poor excuse for a Blue Front have gotten the drop on me?! ME!!!” Otto ranted to himself. “I’ll get that Asha. Yeah, I’ll get her and show her she should never ever mess with The Otto!”
He shifted his weight before noticing that his Mom’s human son, Jackson, had entered the room and was coming toward him. “Otto, “ Jackson whispered, “are you doing ok? Mom said you were impaled on that broken spoon she left out? It wasn’t the spoon was it? It was something else. You went after that Asha Blue Front, didn’t you? She did this to you didn’t she? Do you need me to do anything to help you?” Jackson mysteriously ended.
Otto couldn’t believe his ears! How on earth did Jackson know all of this? Did Jackson know about the secret Bird Underground? If so, how? But, if Jackson knew and he really was willing, wouldn’t it be nice if he’d help him get revenge…..
“Twer-tee.” Otto responded in ‘bird’ cautiously.
“Tell me what you want me to do.” Jackson whispered as he looked back over his shoulders to see if anyone, human or other wise had entered the room. Seeing no one, he continued, “Is there a way to find out about Asha and what her weaknesses are?” Jackson asked Otto, still in a whisper.
“We need to check the Bird Underground to find out if they’ve moved her or something. I think I injured her in the fight we had, but I can’t remember. If she’s at the vets recovering, it’d be easy to teach her a lesson and kill her. She deserves to die for doing this to me.” Otto spoke in Human to Jackson.
Jackson didn’t even flinch. It was as if he always knew Otto could speak English and communicate with Humans. To Otto he responded, “I’ll see what I can find out. How should I go about contacting the Underground?”
“You need to reach Psychotic Maude. She’s a Greater Vasa and she’s nuts. Bites all that is within her reach. She runs the Underground with an iron talon. No human has ever gotten past her but her Mom. You need to find another bird who’s brave enough to approach and ask her about Asha. I’m not sure where you’ll find such a bird, but there has to be one.” Otto explained to Jackson, again in Human.
“I’ll go check BC to see if I can find any birds out there that have a grudge against Maude. I’ll go get my laptop and be right back. We can look together as you’ll know more about the messages on BC than I will.” Jackson said, still whispering, and acting like communicating with a Blue Fronted Amazon in English is a perfectly normal every day occurrence.

-------------------

“Ok my Diva, lets get you and this travel cage into my truck.” Asha’s Daddy groaned as he pushed from one side and his wife pulled from the other, to get Asha’s large travel cage into the back seat of his Jimmy SUV. Once in, her Dad sighed with relief as his wife helped him buckle the cage in place with one strap over the top of the cage and under the back seat and one strap around the front of the cage and around the back of the Jimmy’s back seat. Asha, who wasn’t really thrilled with all the jostling she was being put through, not to mention the stress of Otto surviving, let out a few choice words in Amazon to express her discomfort in the manner her Dad and Mom were treating her Diva self.
Once Asha was secure in the back seat and at least two months worth of bird stuff and barely a weeks worth of human stuff was wedged in the tail-gate section of the Jimmy, Asha, her Dad and Mom headed out the drive and toward I-16 East. Asha settled down as she let the rocking and bouncing of the truck lull her into a state of semi relaxation.
The drove in relative silence and total calm until they turned onto I-95 North at Savannah; it was then something odd began to happen. Out of nowhere ten peach faced lovebirds flew down and dive bombed the Jimmy.
“What on earth?!” Asha’s Dad exclaimed as he wrenched the steering wheel to the right to avoid splattering the lovebirds on the windshield. This sudden motion caused the dozing Asha to fall off her perch with a rather loud crash and screech. “Hold on Asha!” her Dad said much louder than necessary as he straitened the Jimmy back out onto his lane.
The lovebirds circled around and dive bombed the Jimmy a second time, this time succeeding in causing Asha’s Dad to run the Jimmy off the road and onto the shoulder.
“Crazy birds!!!! What on earth are they doing?” Asha’s Dad exclaimed.
Asha knew. It had to be Otto, it just had to be. She wedged herself into the bottom right corner of her travel cage to not only keep from being bounced around as her Dad did his best not to kill the crazy canaries, but to hide. Diva Ninja or not, she was scared, the whole traumatic incident with Otto replaying over and over and over again in her head.
Asha’s Dad managed to get the ageing Jimmy once again onto I-95 and this time he really stepped on the gas pedal, hoping to out run the crazed lovebirds. He managed to convince the Jimmy to maintain a speed of 75 mph as he flew down the highway toward Exit 33 and the last leg of their journey, US-17. Asha continued to cower in the corner of her travel cage. She knew the assault wasn’t over. She was right.
As the Jimmy rattled and bounced down I-95, just a mile before their exit to US-17, Asha’s Dad was startled to hear a police siren approaching from the rear. He looked into his rearview mirror to see a vehicle with light bars flashing in its roof. He did not think he had been speeding, but he began to slow the car and pulled over to the side of the road.
“You better not have been speeding,” Asha’s Mom said to her Dad. “You know what happened to our insurance bill the last time you got caught!”
Asha’s Dad agreed sheepishly as the young man in a police uniform approached the driver’s side.
“Sorry to bother you sir, but I am part of a special team of the South Carolina Highway Patrol checking on the traffic in stolen exotic birds and I had received a report that you might be carrying such a bird in your vehicle,” the officer said. He looked into the back seat and saw Asha’s cage. “Would you please remove this cage from your vehicle so I can inspect this bird?”
Asha’s Dad was confused, but being a law-abiding person, he and his wife unstrapped the cage and placed it on the ground beside the Jimmy. The officer then returned to his car and came back carrying what looked to be a one-legged parrot in a small incubator. The officer opened the incubator and pointed towards Asha’s cage.
“Otto,” the officer said. “Is this the one?”
“That’s her!” squawked Otto from inside the incubator. “That’s her! Kill her Jackson! Kill her!”
The fake officer reached for the gun at his hip but he didn’t get the chance to aim it as the everyone’s ears suddenly rung with the sound of: “KOWABUNGA DUDE!!!!!” yelled Asa as she and BabyGirl appeared out of nowhere and landed on the Jackson’s gun hand.
“You nasty flying rats! Get off of me!!!” Jackson yelled as he tried to shake Asa and BabyGirls iron grip off his left arm.
Meanwhile, the lovebirds had finally caught up with the Jimmy and once again began dive bombing it as Asha’s Dad viewed the entire scene with complete confusion. To protect his family from the crazed lovebirds, he told his wife to get back in the car and he quickly wrestled Asha’s cage into the back seat. He then got in himself, closed the door and watched in amazement as the drama unfolded before him.
It wasn’t more than a split second after Asha’s Dad closed the Jimmy’s driver’s side door to keep from being attacked and bit by the lovebirds that he saw something else totally bizarre fly out of nowhere.
“Here come the Blue Angels! Gangway!!! You’re gonna regret ever messing with our Asha! You’re gonna DIE!!!! Cecil of the Great Budgie Divide! King of all Budgies, King of the Great Budgie Divide has come to eradicate you, you evil human you!!!” yelled Cecil at the top of his not so little lungs as he dove towards the scene at the head of a V formation of blue budgies and one very large yellow cockatiel.
“I’m going to feed you to Lucie and Dessi!” shouted Theodore, a blue budgie from Langley, Canada and good friends of Tyson Parker, one of Asa’s flock, as he referred to his human Grandpas’ two dogs.
“I’m gonna hold you down and let my brother have at you!!” shouted Irwin, Cecil’s little brother, at the same time as Theodore shouted his threat.
“You don’t mess with my family and expect to survive! You’re going to suffer the wrath of Camry’s pet skunk!!!! And, Cleo bites and bites hard!” Shouted the fourth blue budgie, Huey Lewis from San Diego, California and the mate of Cleo, Asa’s older sister.
Cleo had nothing to add, but her siren noise could be heard for miles around.
The Blue Budgie Brigade and Cleo aimed right for the lovebirds and with just the flapping of their wings, sent the lovebirds flying for safety. Cleo managed to grab and yank out the tail feathers of one of them while Cecil and Irwin knocked two with their wings so hard they sent them, totally stunned, into a red maple tree several yards into the woods.
Huey, who didn’t have a vicious or mean bone in his body, found one just big enough to grab one of the lovebirds with his talons, yanking out several feathers and causing the lovebird to yelp and fly off for his own safety. Meanwhile, Cleo went to help her little sister Asa and BabyGirl with Jackson. Cleo bit Jackson on the right ear as Asa bit the left and BabyGirl bit his left hand, which was still holding the shiny gun.
“Darn crazy birds!” Jackson yelled as he continued to try to shake BabyGirl off his hand.
“Not going anywhere!” BabyGirl mumbled with a mouth full of Jackson’s hand, causing him to drop the gun.
When Asha’s Dad saw the gun hit the ground and the flock of blue budgies, two tiels and one orange wing Amazon all attacking the fake police officer who’d just tried to kill his Asha, he wasn’t too sure what to think. With his Jimmy’s doors closed, he couldn’t hear a word of what was going on except for Jackson’s occasional screams as one bird or the other bit him.
“This looks like a deleted scene from ‘The Birds’”, he said to his wife. “Even Hitchcock would have been afraid to put this on film.”
“Maybe we should put some distance between us and this nightmare,” his wife said and Asha’s Dad quickly agreed.
He started up the Jimmy, pulled cautiously back onto the interstate and then off exit 33 onto US-17 where he pressed the gas pedal nearly to the floor to escape the unbelievable scene in his rear view mirror.
“Asha, are you ok, baby girl?” Asha’s Dad cooed toward the back seat.
“Tickle, tickle, hello dear.” said Asha, still feeling uneasy like this still wasn’t over yet, but relieved to be safe and sound at the same time. She knew her Dad did the right thing by staying in the truck with her. She was glad her Dad didn’t get out. The less he knew about Otto and his crazy human brother the better and-hopefully safer-he was. He had rescued her and she wanted to repay him the best she could by keeping him safe too.
“We’ll be at Auntie Eva’s in about 30 minutes.” Asha’s Dad added before going silent. He was concentrating on the road…..and the sky.
Back at the interstate Jackson could tell that he was getting the short end of the deal as he quickly became the object of almost a dozen angry bird’s wrath.
“We got to get out of here Otto,” he shouted as he grabbed the incubator and flung it into the front seat of the fake police car. He jumped in himself and started the car. After flinging a still biting Theodore out the window he started off with a roar and the smell of burning rubber.
“Let him go,” counseled Asa. “We’ll never be able to keep up with him and he’ll think twice before bothering us again.”
“I think it would be a good idea to have the Underground keep their eyes on those two just in case they do get it in their heads to take us on again.” said Cecil.
“Well, at least Asha and her family are safe,” said BabyGirl. “Why don’t we follow them and see if Eva has something to eat? This rescuing is hard work.”

Proper Introductions

2008-02-23T07:32:00.006-08:00

For those of you following along in the Asha Chronicles, I'm sure you've seen mention of two birds, a tiel and a blue and gold macaw, who appear in spirit form. The macaw, Rosalie Hale Bopp, has been made mention of since the first episode of the Asha Chronicles. She was, and still is, part of my friend Eva's life. Rosalie touched the heart and soul of everyone who met her in her all too brief time here on earth. On Bird Channel, where Eva would write in Rosalie's 'voice', you could get the sense that Rosalie was a wise and loving soul and the messages left on each of Rosalie's bird friends pages reflected Rosalie's love for life, love of others and deep wisdom. You knew Rosalie knew more than she was ever able to express in her own words. Rosalie is also the one who gave my AsaMina Sura her nickname, The Convicts Chick, which went to that 'wisdom and knowing more' that I just mentioned. AsaMina's momma bird, Rowena Rose, was nicknamed Jail Bird due to her odd habit of running her beak back and forth across her cage bars like the prisoners in the movies do with tin cups. Rowena Rose and Rosalie never met and the one never knew about the other making her nickname for my AsaMina even more special. It's the wisdom and kindness you see in Rosalie's eyes when you look into that picture of her [her most famous picture] that got her sucked into the Asha Chronicles and the spirit of wisdom as The Feathered Four's guide.

Rosalie Hale Bopp: January 1, 1997 to October 22, 2007

The other spirit making an appearance into the Asha Chronicles is AsaMina's Daddy Bird, my R.B. Bird Leonardo. He was and I believe still is, my gaurdian angel, the little feathered soul that God sent down to keep an eye on me and keep me safe. Over R.B. Birds not quite 16 years, I always hoped I'd taken as good a care of him as he did of me. As I type this post, I'm one week shy of turning 41 years old. All that has happened between my 24th birthday and now is because of my R.B. Bird. It was he who literally saved my life from an abusive first husband. My neighbor never once heard me scream due to sleeping during the day and working nights. But, boy could she hear R.B. Bird scream, loud and clear. It was his shriek that woke her and had her call the police 'to get the stupid bird to be quiet so she could sleep'. The 'Idiot' (politest name for my ex I can think of), would stop hitting me when he saw the police car driving up. No R.B. Bird, no annoyed neighbor, no police car, no me. R.B. Bird and his biological sister Moana terrified a burglar and sent him running one night when I was home alone. And, my little grey angel and the universes hugest fan of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, also alerted my 9 unit apartment building to a small fire in more than enough time for all of us to evacuate. So, yes, he too lives on and isn't really 'gone'. R.B. Bird, I believe continues to watch over us, most of the time through his daughter AsaMina, who is nearly a clone of him and his sister Moana (April-Moana O'Neil, for long), and in the stories, I use his gifts to help The Feathered Four. The picture posted of him is his most famous picture.
R.B. Bird Leonardo: January 16, 1991 to November 11, 2006

[it was fitting he crossed over the Rainbow Bridge on Veterans Day after all the battles he fought and won]

Hope Is The Thing With Feathers--- by Emily Dickenson

Hope is the thing with feathers

That perches in the soul,

And sings the tune without the words,

And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;

And sore must be the storm

That could abash the little bird

That kept so many warm.

I've heard it in the chilliest land

And on the strangest sea;

Yet, never, in extremity,

It asked a crumb of me.

The Asha Chronicles Part 7

2008-02-21T15:45:00.003-08:00

Wow, just when you thought the world was finally a safe place, the Feathered Four are once again called into action. This particular episode centers around the namesake of the Asha Chronicles, the emerald green Blue Fronted Amazon Parrot Diva herself, Asha. Hang onto your seat while you read it, wouldn't want you falling off the edge. Better yet, fasten your seatbelts!

The Asha Chronicles Part 7

by Timothy

February 15, 2008

Shadow Of The Wing

It was early afternoon and Asha was sitting on one of the many perches in her huge cage-on-wheels with her head tucked under a wing taking a nap. She was dreaming of BabyGirl’s recent Valentine Day’s party and the short time she and her new boyfriend Stubby had spent birdie-beak kissing under a lilac bush.
Asha was a beautiful Blue-Front Amazon parrot with the personality of a Diva, but she had found herself quite smitten with the young bird from Las Vegas and found her thoughts drifting back to the desert city more and more often. She was especially enjoying this current dream when she heard the door to her human’s bedroom open and the voice of her human companion calling her name.
“Asha!” he said. “You have to look at this! They printed your picture in Bird Talk Magazine!”
With the pet industry in the country reaching massive proportions, it seems that every possible companion animal had several magazines and newsletters devoted to their humans. Parrots were no different and Bird Talk was perhaps the most popular devoted to them.
Asha shook her head and fluffed her feathers in irritation at having her thoughts so abruptly torn from their formerly happy source. She gave her human a quizzical look and tilted her head slightly to the left in anticipation of what he had to say.
“Look, it’s your picture in Bird Talk!” he shouted. “Isn’t that great?”
He pushed the open magazine towards Asha and she saw that it indeed had a picture of her in it. It was a nice picture that captured her beauty and intelligence. “As if it couldn’t capture something that obvious,” She thought to herself.
Not wanting to appear too interested in the picture she began preening one of her flight feathers while her human went to find a treat to give her.
“Now the rest of the world will see how beautiful you are,” he said as he handed Asha a peanut.
Asha grasped the peanut in two of her claws as she expertly extracted the nut with her beak and let the hull fall to the floor or her cage.
“Big deal,” she thought to herself. “I don’t care what the rest of the world thinks as long as Stubby thinks I’m beautiful.”
Not far from where Asha and her human lived another Bird Talk subscriber in suburban Atlanta was looking over the same issue when she also noticed the picture of Asha. She was also taken by the beauty of the subject and showed the picture to her Blue-Front named Otto. Otto took one look at the picture and became enraptured with Asha. While birds did not share most of the frailities of the mind that humans possessed, there were still some of them who could be called anti-social. Otto was one of those. He lived in a nice home and had a loving human companion, but there was something dark in the bottom of his heart, and the photo of Asha called to that darkness and he immediately swore to himself that he would possess her, or no other bird would.
Otto waited until his human had left the room and then flew over to her computer. He accessed the Bird Channel web site and entered Asha’s name in the search engine. It quickly brought up her web page and he quickly gathered as much information on her as he could. He saw that she lived less than a hundred miles from his home and quickly decided that he would leave the next morning and fly to her hometown on a surveillance mission.
As Asha tucked her head back under her wing and blissfully went back to sleep and another dream of Stubby, she had no idea that she had just acquired the curse of all human Divas-she had a stalker.

The next day the weather was relatively warm and Asha was spending the day on her screened porch. She had spent the last couple of hours viciously attacking a piñata in her cage and was tired from the efforts and bored with her human being absent. But being a prey animal at heart, she automatically kept a close eye on the surroundings and eventually noticed a strange bird perched on the roof of a nearby house.
Asha was very familiar with the flora and fauna of her neighborhood and this bird did not resemble anything she had ever seen in middle Georgia. In fact, although she could not get a good view due to the distance involved, it looked all the world like a Blue Front Amazon parrot.
The first thought that crossed her mind was that Stubby had for some reason decided to fly all the way from Nevada to surprise her but she quickly discounted that idea. She had just blogged him on the internet that morning and he could have never gotten here in that short of time. It could be BabyGirl, one of her Feathered Friends, but this bird looked larger than her and she was an orange wing. She thought of other blue fronts she knew like Ben and Echo but she didn’t think they would come and visit without telling her. And they certainly wouldn’t just sit on a nearby roof and not drop in.
The more she looked at the strange parrot the more uneasy she felt. Then the strange bird took flight and slowly made its way in Asha’s direction. It circled her hours and then flew off into the distance.
“Glad to see that one gone,” Asha said to herself. But she couldn’t shake a feeling of fear in the pit of her tiny stomach.
Over the course of the next week Asha saw the strange parrot at least three more times. It was always just at the furtherest range of her vision. All it would do was sit and watch her for a while and then fly off. Every time she saw the bird the more menacing it appeared. She finally broke down and contacted the other members of her group and asked them to visit her.
The Four Feathered Friends gathered the next day on Asha’s porch and she told them the story of the menacing parrot. The four of them took flight and scoured the area surrounding Asha’s home but could see no sign of the stranger. They gathered back at the porch and put their beaks together to try to figure out what was happening.
“It would seem that you have a stalker,” said Asa. “I guess that is the price you have to pay for becoming famous.”
“A stalker?” Asha said in shock. “I thought only humans had stalkers. Why would another parrot do that? What would they want, my autograph?”
“No, it is usually much more serious than that,” said BabyGirl. “I remember hearing about that Latina singer a few years ago who was murdered by a stalker. And then there was that tennis player who got stabbed by a crazy fan. This is serious business.”
Just then the four heard the sounds of wings overhead and a rock fell on the roof of the porch. All they could see was the flash of wings heading into the distance.
“Well, whoever it is, they are pretty crafty,” said Cecil. “They were here all the time and we never saw them.”
Asa had flown up to the roof and came back with a rock. Asha noticed that a note was attached to ti and she quickly pulled it off with her beak and read it to her friends.
“Call all the help you want and it won’t help,” the note read. “You will be mine.” The note was signed Otto.
“Otto,” questioned BabyGirl. “Do any of you know anyone named Otto?”
“No,” said Asa. “But I think it’s time we put the Parrot Network to work on this one.”
The Parrot Network was an underground organization of parrots around the world which worked together to aid members of their kind who were in trouble. The four friends had made use of one of the network members named Dolly in their recent Las Vegas adventure.
“I’ll get word to Echo and he’ll put the word out on his radio network,” said Cecil. “He can find out if anyone knows this Otto.”
“But what will we do in the meantime?” asked BabyGirl. “We can’t leave Asha her by herself.”
“Come on guys,” said Asha. “You all are getting a little too dramatic here. All this bird has done is fly around and drop a rock on my roof. We have no reason to believe that he wants to harm me in any way. Maybe all he wants to do is look at me for a while and then he’ll get tired and think of something else to pass the time.
“Anyway, you all can’t stay here forever,” Asha reasoned. “You have your own homes and families. Your humans will miss you and how will you explain this? You go on home and I’ll be just fine.”
The other three were reluctant to leave, but bolstered by Asha’s brave front, they finally agreed and headed to their various homes. But as Asha watched them fly off into the distance, she didn’t feel as nearly as brave as she had let on. In fact, she was terrified for the first time in her life.
The next day Asha was pacing back-and-forth on top of her cage trying to convince herself that she had nothing to be afraid of when her human entered the room.
“Hey honey,” he said. “You got a package in the mail. It must be from that boyfriend of yours in Las Vegas. You better watch out or I’ll get jealous,” he said with a smile as he handed her the package and left the room.
Asha tore open the package and then recoiled in horror. It contained a small Teddy Bear which had had its head tore off. There was a not attached which said: “You don’t need those other birds. I’m all you need.” And it was signed Otto.
Asha was now seriously worried. She flew to the computer and got in touch with Echo. Echo said he had passed the word down the network but nobody had any information on a parrot named Otto. She thanked him for his help and then contacted Stubby in Las Vegas. She had not wanted to burden him with her concerns previously, but now she poured out her heart. Stubby said he would try to get there as soon as possible but he had just checked the Weather Channel and there was a massive winter storm over the Plains States and he would have to fly almost to the Gulf of Mexico to get to her house. He said he would get there as soon as he could but Asha knew it would take at least two days for him to cover the vast distance between their homes. She thanked him and turned off the computer and tucked her head under her wing. Nobody could see, but more than a few tears flowed down her feathered chest as she cried in silence.
Asha was awake all night listening for nay strange noises. More than once she decided to awaken her human and tell him off the situation but she didn’t want to worry him. She realized that this was a parrot problem and had to be solved by parrots. Just before sunrise she heard a scratching sound out on her porch but she was much too scared to go and see what it was. After her human got up and made her breakfast he wheeled her cage onto the porch. She looked around to see if there was any sign of the noise she heard and then she saw something scratched on the floor.
“You are mine or you are dead,” it said. Asha’s human hadn’t noticed anything but she gave a piercing scream when she read the words.
Her human rushed back to the porch to see what had happened and he found Asha cowering in terror in a corner of her cage.
“What is wrong honey,” he asked in concern. “Did one of those mean neighbor dogs try to get at you? You don’t have to worry, they can’t get in here.” He looked around the porch and, seeing nothing out of the way and not noticing the writing on the floor, he left to get ready to leave. He and his wife were leaving for the weekend to attend a funeral out of state.
Asha was almost paralyzed with fear. She had never felt this way. She had faced down humans pointing deadly guns at her in the past without turning a feather but now she was almost out of her mind in fear of this unknown parrot.
“Get a grip girl,” she told herself. “Deep breaths and try to get control.”
Eventually her heartbeat got under control and she flew around the house making sure that all the doors were locked. She then went back to the porch to try and figure out how Otto had gotten in to leave his message. Eventually she found a small hole near the floor where he had apparently been able to chew through the screen and get inside. She tried to push a chair over to cover the opening but was not nearly strong enough. She was beginning to feel panicky again as she knew she would not be able to close the door leading from the porch into the house. Where could she go to be safe?
Then she heard a low laughing sound behind her and she turned to see a parrot hanging onto the screen of the porch just three feet away from her. She had never seen him before, but deep in her tortured heart she instinctively knew it was Otto.
“Hey pretty girl,” Otto said. “Do you want to come out and play?” He then chuckled and flew off.
Asha was about to pass out in panic when she heard the doorbell ring. She flew to the front door and looked out the peephole and saw just about the strangest thing she had ever seen. It was and African Grey parrot in a bird-sized trench coat and a hat.
“Who are you and what do you want?” Asha asked through the door.
“My name is Knuckles and I am here to help you if you’ll let me in,” came a gravelly voice.
Asha threw caution to the wind and opened the door and let the bird in, quickly slamming the door behind her.
“I heard through the network that you were in trouble little girl and I thought I would come and lend a hand,” Knuckles said as he quickly looked around the room. “I hear you got an unwanted friend?”
The words came out of Asha in a flood as she explained what had happened to that point. Knuckles listened quietly and when she was finished he gazed her straight in the eye and said: “Don’t you worry little girl. This guy may think he is pretty tough, but he ain’t nearly as tough as he thinks he is.”
Something about Knuckles made Asha feel better and she soon could feel at least a small part of her usual confidence come flooding back into her.
“Thank you Knuckles,” she said. “What do you think we should do?”
“We sit tight and wait for him to make the next move,” he said as he removed the trench coat and hat and laid them on a sofa. “We got him outnumbered now. As long as we stay together and keep calm we go the advantage on him.”
“If I may so bold as to ask,” Asha said. “What is it with the trench coat. It isn’t that cold outside.”
“Oh that,” Knuckles said with a smile. “I’m a big Humphrey Bogard fan. I guess I’m trying to look like Sam Spade. It’s silly, I know. But it kind of makes me feel a little more confident.”
Asha smiled as she realized that she instinctively liked the Grey.
“Hey, no problem. It looks good on you,” she said with a grin.
The two settled down and talked and played word games to keep themselves alert and awake and night came on. Knuckles would fly around the house occasionally to see if he could catch sight of Otto, but he always returned empty-handed. The two had set-up shop in the kitchen of the house where they could see out into both the front and rear yards.
All of a sudden the two heard a loud noise from the porch.
“That must be him trying to get inside again,” whispered Asha. “What should we do?”
“Well, we don’t split up, that’s for sure,” said Knuckles. “You come with me and let’s go see what that noise was.”
The two waddled down the hall that led into her human’s bedroom. The porch was off that bedroom. Asha heard a scratching sound from above and suddenly a book fell off a shelf and landed squarely on Knuckles’ head, knocking him unconscious.
“I thought I told you not to be going around with other birds,” Asha heard Otto say. She looked up and he was standing on the shelf where the book had come from. “Do you know what happens to birds who don’t do what they are told?”
Suddenly Asha was filled with a fierce feeling of anger and disgust. She had been doing nothing but acting afraid of this parrot the whole time. Now was not the time for fear, it was the time for action.
“No, but I do know what happens to scum like you,” she said as she flew up at Otto, claws first.
The two fought for what seemed like minutes but was really just a few seconds. Asha had the upper hand until she slipped while trying to grab a piece of molding and Otto hit her on the side of her head and she fell to the floor. He quickly pounced on top of her and held his claws to her face.
“Say your prayers little girl,” Otto said with a sneer. “Your cover girl days are over,” he said as he raised his claws to strike.
But the strike never came and as Asha looked on in shock a knifepoint suddenly appeared in his chest and he fell over as his blood spurted all over the semi-conscious bird.
Almost in a daze Asha heard a familiar voice say, “Hasta Le Vista asshole.” And over the dead bird’s body she saw Stubby standing in the hallway with the handle of the knife in his claws.
“Sorry,” he said with a smile. “Those headwinds were a bitch.”
The rest of the night was a blur as Asha fell sobbing into Stubby’s arms and he comforted her. Knuckles work up soon after and felt awful for letting Otto get the drop on him but Asha and Stubby both did their best to make him feel better.
“If it hadn’t been for you I would have never had the time to get here,” said Stubby. “You saved my girl’s life and I’ll always be in your debt.”
Knuckles said he would take care of Otto’s body. He said the network would arrange to have it returned to his human with a suitable story that would cover up his crime.
As Knuckles left he turned back and, smiling at Asha, tipped his hat and said: “Here’s looking at you, kid!”
“Well, I better get going,” said Stubby as Knuckles flew off. “My human will be worried if I’m gone for too long and the weather going back won’t be much better.”
Asha looked into his dark eyes and smiled.
“I really don’t know what to say,” she said quietly. “But I think you know what I want to say.”
Stubby leaned over and picked up one of his tail feathers which had come out during the fight.
“You keep this as a sign of how I feel for you,” he said as he lightly brushed Asha’s beak with his. He then turned and started flying west to his home. But from now on they both knew that they would never really be apart.

The Asha Chronicles--Part 6

2008-02-18T14:31:00.002-08:00

This is it, the conclusion to Part 5 of the Asha Chronicles, the episode our very own Denise Felton added in her two cents worth with the most heroic invisible cat you'll ever meet! Won't give the story way, so read on!

The Asha Chronicles
Part 6
Redemption
By Julie Anne and Tim
February 11, 2008

It’d been a quiet few weeks for The Feathered Four, something which they were all grateful for. Cecil was still quite traumatized from witnessing the brutal murder of Sammy the African Grey and the anger of the other three of the team still raged hot, although, as the weeks had passed, the anger had begun to cool a bit. Asa had remained in touch with her teammates via Bird Channel, but none of them really had much to say.
It was a Wednesday morning and Asa’s Grandma was home, sewing, as always. She had quite the order to fill and Asa had done her job of picking out the fabric. Asa’s Grandma was a rather hopeless case when it came to color coordination and so if the humans would actually want to look at and buy her Grandma’s creations, the job for fabric picking fell to the co-owner of Diamondmeenuh Creations, Miss. AsaMina Sura, her one and only self.
Earlier that morning, before the speed sewing began, Asa’s Grandma logged onto BC for her. Asa had an odd message she was still pondering over as she watched her Grandma knot the thread to the lime green and gold floral fabric. It was from one of Edgar Allan’s BC friends, Poirot, about voting for his friends sibling cat Snickers to win Cat of the Month on The Cat Channel. This, in and of itself wasn’t odd since a lot of BCers had siblings with fur and often asked their fellow feathered ones to stuff the ballot box for them so their sibling could win the honor. Asa, who’d been a member of BC since the beginning, she was the 357th member, had never won nor had every had anyone stuff the ballot box for her, but she really didn’t care either. Although, she understood the drive to win for the others and often had her Grandma place a vote for those who queried, it just wasn’t important to her. It was odd, however, that she was asked and not Edgar Allan. Poirot and Asa really didn’t know one another and she never recalled leaving him any messages before either.
As she pondered this odd message this morning, her Grandma logged onto Cat Channel and found Snickers and read out loud, “Snickers, an invisible short haired tabby who loves catnip and Doritos, preferably at the same time. Snickers is the museum mascot in Little Rock, Arkansas, and loves all the people who work there because they leave out toys and treats for her and give the most fabulous ear skritches an invisible cat could wish for. Snickers was rescued from the Invisible Cat No-Kill Shelter.” Asa’s Grandma concluded as she scrolled to the top of the page to place their vote, “An invisible cat. Different, but then Diamond Sunshine hatched out of a sterile egg, so why not.” Grandma ended as she clicked out of Cat Channel and back onto BC.
“An invisible cat? Asa continued to ponder as she began to doze off in her Grandma’s ponytail. Her Grandma was sewing so fast it was beginning to make Asa a bit dizzy. “An invisible cat from a no-kill shelter? Wasn’t Bad Guy, oh, what was that humans name the owl sentenced to community service….Earl…..” Asa fell into a deep but uneasy sleep.
“Baby-Asa” came a very familiar voice.
“Daddy?” asked Asa with a huge yawn. Baby-Asa is what her Grandma and God-Mommy Dolly had called her egg before she hatched. The only one who called her Baby-Asa after she hatched was her father, R.B. Bird.
“Yes, Baby-Asa, it’s me. I need for you to listen to me, it’s very important.” R.B. Bird said as he appeared in a cloud just above where she was perched.
“Where am I?” asked Asa as she looked around and noticed her Grandma was gone, replaced by a mossy tree located in a deep, damp, dark forest in which Asa was now perched.
“You’re over the Rainbow Bridge.” R.B. Bird simply stated, his outline now visible above her.
“I’m dead?” she asked, totally perplexed.
“No, Baby-Asa, you’re very much alive, but there are things you and your friends need to learn before more critters cross over to the Rainbow Bridge before their time.” R.B. Bird said in his best impersonation of Splinters of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fames voice.
“Asha, BabyGirl and Cecil are coming over the Rainbow Bridge, too? How do we…did we…get here if we’re not dead?”
“That’s not important, my child. What is important is to pay attention and listen. Those you seek will come to you in human form, only you will remain in your earthly form. Watch and listen. So much is depending on you, my Baby-Asa. Go forth from this forest to the west. Your journey will begin there.” R.B. Bird ended, still using his impersonation of Splinters voice, and disappeared.
Asa, still very confused and bewildered, did as her father had asked and took off toward the west. She’d flown for about 13 miles through the woods, dodging dangling damp slimy moss and grotesquely bent entwined branches before daylight finally became visible before her. Asa stopped to catch her breath on a bit of slimy moss on the last branch of the last tree on the edge of the forest. She listened intently as she perched. Somewhere off in the distance she heard music playing. Odd music as it was from Pink Floyds The Wall being played on what sounded like Ukulele’s. Asa shook her head, but the lilting strains of the song didn’t dissipate. She took flight once again and headed toward the music, due west.
It wasn’t much further when she came upon a small medieval town. Sulfur Crested Cockatoos dressed as jesters with argyle socks in vivid shades of violet, cobalt and emerald green danced in the streets with the Ukulele’s as they played the psychedelic rock. Asa also noted several humans roaming around. One, although very unfamiliar, looked extremely familiar at the same time. She flew closer and landed on the wooden arm of the porch swing the human sat upon.
“Asa, you’re here! Fantastic!” Said the voluptuous and curvy blond with her long flowing hair highlighted with pale blue streaks. “It’s odd being human, but I still feel very much myself, just more ‘diva’ if you know what I mean.”
“Asha?” Asa asked the curvy blond adorned in a low cut silken emerald green gown that hid none of her curves, just accentuated them beautifully.
“It’s me. Totally Diva me.” Said Asha with a toss of her blond tresses.
“Why am I still a tiel and you are a human? How on earth did you get changed? How on earth did you get here?” Asked Asa almost too quickly to be understood.
“Sit on an ice cube, Asa and chill! Rosalie contacted me while I was napping. Dads team is losing again. First he fell asleep, then I did. Then I woke up here.” said Asha in her most Diva like tone with a smidge of Marilyn Monroe tossed in.
“BabyGirl and Cecil? Have you seen them?” Asked Asa as she tried to process her best friend as a human.
“Nope, haven’t seen them. Rosalie told me to wait here, so here I wait.” said Asha simply.
“My Daddy Bird got a hold of me. Grandma was making me dizzy with her speed sewing again and I dozed off in her ponytail and woke up in a really nasty slimy forest not too far from here. My Daddy Bird told me to come here, but didn’t say why. I think he’s watched too much Ninja Turtles, to tell the truth.” Asa offered as her explanation to why she was here in this medieval town.
The Sulfur Crested Too’s began to play Elton Johns Crocodile Rock on their Ukulele’s as an enormous and muscular male human approached them.
“Asa, it’s me, Cecil.” said the six foot nine inch extremely muscular human male. “You’re still a tiel?” Cecil added as he sat beside Asha on the porch swing. The swing groaned a bit under the added weight, but didn’t break. “Asha, is that you?” he asked the Diva he’d just sat down next to.
“It’s me and I have no clue why Asa’s still a tiel either. Have you seen BabyGirl?” Asha asked and she eyed every inch of the stud muffin to her left, only momentarily forgetting Stubby was waiting for her back home.
“No, all I saw was Asa’s father, R.B. Bird. He brought me here. He said I needed to be as big as I am inside. He told me I’d need it later on. Boy is that one scary dude, Asa! I’d hate to meet your Dad in a well lit pet store!” Cecil explained as an orange winged Amazon flew up to them and landed daintily next to Asa.
“Howdy y’all.” BabyGirl greeted in her best southern drawl.
“You’re still a bird, too?” asked Asha, Asa, and Cecil simultaneously.
“Yeah.” BabyGirl began as she abruptly realized that two of her flock mates were human, “You’re not birds, you’re human?” she added puzzled.
“Yeah, we don’t get it either, but it is what it is.” explained Cecil.
“Who brought you here?” Asa asked BabyGirl.
“Rosalie. Didn’t she bring you here, too?” answered BabyGirl
“No, my Daddy Bird brought me and Cecil. Rosalie brought Asha, however.” Asa explained.
“We’re all here, now what?” asked the voluptuous and curvy blond Asha.
The answer to their questions didn’t come from one of them or from where they expected. It came, actually, from the least expected of places, Sammy the African Grey. The Sulfur Crested Toos began to play the Hokey-Pokey on their well worn but well tuned Ukulele’s as they danced past The Feathered Four and up the street, apparently to get the holes in their argyle socks darned at the local sock shop, as Sammy the African Grey flew up and landed on the porch railing before the four bewildered friends.
“Thank you, Asha, for rescuing my body and giving me a funeral and honoring me so. Thank you all of you for all you did for me. It’s because you’re hearts are so pure that I’ve asked R.B. Bird and Rosalie to bring you here over the Rainbow Bridge. I need to ask you to do all of us over here and those not meant to be here just yet, a big favor.” Sammy began humbly.
“Is this what it’s always like here? Some birds turned to human?” asked Cecil in a deep masculine voice.
“No, Cecil, it’s not. What you see here is what we here over the bridge have created for you. You can’t see the real thing till it’s your time and that won’t be for a very long time for any of you.” Sammy explained, before continuing with his story and favor, “My human, Earl, is doing as Oppenheimer, the owl judge, commanded him. He is working at that no-kill shelter, but he’s also still harming the animals and has killed many that were going to be adopted into good loving homes to live out what would have been a long happy life.” Sammy paused a moment to preen a wayward itchy feather on his back before continuing, “Earl has broken into the drug cabinet at the shelter many times, taken the drugs and needles and euthanized a dozen cats, twenty one dogs, and sixteen birds. Earl needs to be taught a more permanent lesson and that’s where we over the rainbow bridge need you to help.”
“How?” asked Asha, still a bit confused at the scene playing out before her.
“I’m leaving that up to you and what you feel is best to remedy the situation. Asha, you’ve appeared here, over the rainbow bridge, as a human bombshell because that is your gift to this group, your beauty and your muscle. Cecil, you too, are here in human form so you can see for yourself your gift to this group, your strength, not just in your size, but in your mind. It’s your mind and your ability to use human speech that help this group fight immorality and win. BabyGirl and Asa, you arrived here in bird form, not human form because you already know your hearts and we didn’t feel you needed to see for yourselves the gifts you bring. BabyGirl, you’re the muscle in the group and Asa, you are very much your father and are the brains of the group. Listen to your heart, your father will guide you.” as soon as Sammy ended he vanished.
A pair of Rainbow Lorikeets appeared from around the corner of the clock and doll fix-it shop each playing a lute and singing one of the Dixie Chicks number one songs, ‘Goodbye Earl’“…She held Wanda's hand as theyworked out a planAnd it didn't take 'em long to decideThat Earl had to dieGoodbye EarlThose black-eyed peasThey tasted all right to me EarlYou're feelin' weakWhy don't you lay downand sleep EarlAin't it darkWrapped up in that tarp Earl?” sang the Rainbow Lorikeets as they toddled past the Feathered Four and down the street toward the Fruit and Veggie Saloon.
“Time to Ninja us some bad guys.” said Asha the bombshell deviously as she rubbed her gracefully long fingers together like she was trying to wash the evil off of her hands.
“Time to Ninja us some bad guys!” chorused Asa and BabyGirl gleefully.
“How do we get out of here?” asked Cecil logically.
________________

“AsaMina Sura, baby girl.” Grandma cooed as she offered Asa her finger, “Grandma needs to make dinner and you need to go in and eat some of your Mush.”
Asa obligingly stepped up onto her Grandma’s finger and let her Grandma kiss her back one too many times as she carried her back to her cage, then closed her door, and left the room to prepare dinner.
“Need to get to the rest of the crew.” Asa said as she easily opened the door to her cage. Her Grandma only locked her in if they had a lot of company or she left the house. Asa’s Grandma had also left the computer on, so it was fairly easy for the 93 gram bundle of sleek cinnamon brown feathers to log herself onto Bird Channel and leave Asha, Cecil and BabyGirl messages to meet at the old barn where Oppenheimer the old barn owl lived.

-----------------------------

When Asa arrived at the barn she was almost surprised to see three parrots there to meet her. Asha was her usual green-feathered self while Cecil as resplendent in his sky blue coat. BabyGirl was similar in appearance to Asha except she was a little smaller and had more blue around her face.
“You look surprised to see us Asa,” Asha said with a knowing smile.
“It isn’t that I’m surprised to see you, it’s just that I’m surprised to see you in this form. The last time I saw you, you looked more like Marilyn Monroe than a parrot,” Asa said.
“I know, and Cecil was quite a bit different too,” Asha said with a grin directed at the budgie. “I always knew you had a large personality, but Dad’s favorite basketball team could use you in a big way.”
Cecil just grinned and scratched at the floor of the barn. It always seemed that he got a little tongue-tied when he was in Asa’s presence.Just then the four heard a deep and distinguished voice from a corner of the barn.
“Welcome my four friends,” said Oppenheimer. “I am so sorry that I had to go to these great lengths to gather you again, but the need is great.”
“We heard what has happened,” said Asa. “We had hoped that Earl had learned his lesson but it appears that some humans have harder heads than others.”
“I know we all agreed to try to rehabilitate Earl, but I think that now we need to end this once and for all,” said Asha with a cold fury in her voice. “It was bad enough what he did to Sammy, but now he is continuing to send animals to the Rainbow Bridge way before their time.”
“I’m afraid that you may be right Asha,” Oppenheimer said with a deep sadness in his voice. “I’ve talked to many others both here on Earth and over the bridge and we have reluctantly agreed that Earl is too big of a threat. Many of the animals he has euthanized could have found wonderful Forever Homes just as you four have.”
“You all are probably right, but I can’t help but remember what my granny once told me,” said Asa. “If you keep trading an eye for an eye everyone ends up blind.”
“Before my Dad took me in, the family that previously had me was ready to take me to a shelter just like the one Earl is working at,” Asha hissed. “I could have been one of the birds he stuck a needle in. I saw that Rainbow Bridge was a nice place, but I’m not ready to go there yet and while I have breath in my body, I’ll not see another helpless animal make that trip before their time. Are you with me?”
“We’re with you!” The other three said in unison as they took flight out of the barn door.
“Such courage and passion in such small bodies,”Oppenheimer said to himself as he shook his large and distinguished head. “And humans think of them as ignorant pets. Fly Free Feathered Friends!”
As the four friends flew towards the shelter Cecil turned to BabyGirl and whispered: “Hey, have you ever seen that human movie Star Wars?”
“No, why?” asked BabyGirl.
“That Oppenheimer sounds just like the character they called Darth Vader,” Cecil said.
“Oh, was he the hero?” she asked.
“No, that’s what worries me,” Cecil said.
When they arrived at the shelter they split up and scouted out the surroundings. After a few minutes they gathered together on the limb of a poplar tree and compared notes.
“It looks like we are lucky,” said Asa. “It is night and it appears that Earl is here by himself. But we need to figure out what to do next because it looks like he is about to euthanize another animal.”
The four flew to a rear window that looked in a small room. They could see that Earl had strapped a large Siamese cat to a table and was about to inject the hissing animal with poison.
“We have to do something quick,” said Asha. “Can you get that window open Convicts Chick?”
“Not for a minute or two, it must be specially locked since this is the room with the chemicals,” Asa said with panic in her voice. “Can you chew through that concrete Cecil?”
“The concrete is no problem, but there is plenty of rebar and that is a tough job,” Cecil said between mouthfuls of concrete dust.
“Wait!” shouted BabyGirl. “Look, something strange is happening.”
The four looked on as Earl suddenly stopped short of injecting the terrified cat. His hand jerked back and, obviously against his will, he injected himself with the poison and fell to the floor. His body jerked a couple of times and then he lay deathly still.
“What the heck did we just see?” asked a puzzled Asha.
Suddenly the wispy form of a short-haired tabby cat appeared before them. “Hello friends, my name is Snickers and I am the mascot at the museum by the River Walk in Little Rock, Arkansas. I am an invisible cat,” the spectral form said as if she introduced herself that way all the time.
“You’re the one who sent me the email,” Asa said with wonder in her voice. “Did you do that to Earl?”
“Yes I did,” said Snickers. “I had tried many times to stop him from murdering my friends, but when you arrived your courage and great hearts gave me the strength to reach out and do what had to be done. I could tell that killing a living creature was repugnant to you, no matter how you blustered,” she said with a wink at Asha. “So when I saw I had the strength to do it myself I took action.”
They then heard the whisper of large wings as Oppenheimer took his place on the limb beside them. “You see now the good you can do in this world,” he intoned. “Not only can you right wrongs yourselves, but you can give others the strength to right them too.”
Oppenheimer then turned to Cecil and said with a smile. “As for you little one, Darth turned out to be a good guy in the end!” The great owl took wing as Snickers disappeared from view.
“Well, I guess we better do something with that body,” said BabyGirl. “But aren’t there are going to be a lot of questions about what happened to him?”
“I don’t think so,” said Asa. “As one of my granny’s favorite songs goes ‘it turned out he was a missing person nobody ever missed.’”

Tyson Parker and the Aloof Dish Towel

2008-02-17T09:26:00.008-08:00

Ok, this was just too cute not to plaster somewhere and my blog just seemed like a really good idea.

Today, instead of church, due to the weather, I opted to stay home and clean my tiels cages--5 tiels, 5 cages--each cage is 2 foot by 2 foot by six foot tall. Mostly it was a normal cleaning day. I clean the tiels trash the room, perfectly normal. AsaMina hit Worthington with three dried apricots and he promptly bombed her back with four raisins (note to self, remove raisins and apricots from their seed/pellet mix for my safety). She then responded with a raisin and a green squiggle pellet, missed and hit me instead. Worthington, never to be out done, didn't even bother to aim for AsaMina and just hit me with two dried apricots. Yup, totally normal house cleaning kind of day. (picture is of Worthington ducking behind a toy on the jungle gym after I glared at him for hitting me with a raisin)

With cages finally squeaky clean (we won't discuss the floor at this point), I did as I always do, picked up Worthington, AsaMina, and Tyson Parker and took them into the kitchen with me The kitchen is a rare treat for Tyson Parker because he's not 'potty trained' like AsaMina and Worthington are. Yes, 'potty trained'. You can teach a bird to go 'potty' in a trash can, the sink, anywhere but you or other such places, like the kitchen counter. Worthington and AsaMina are both quite good and let me know when they need to go, so I have next to no accidents with them. Tyson Parker, on the other hand, doubles as a loaded weapon. So, the only time he's allowed on my kitchen counter is when I need to sterilize it anyway, like on house cleaning day--today. So, there we were, the four of us in the kitchen. Tyson Parker on the counter and Double Trouble (AsaMina and Worthington) on my shoulders doing their best to dismantle yet another ponytail holder. Normally Tyson Parker just sits on the counter admiring his reflection in my microwave---but not today. Today he opted to flirt with my dish towel and boy do I wish I had video of it!

I am Tyson Parkers third home. In his first home, someone had apparently taught the little sweetie to whistle when a white paper was waved in his face. Tyson Parker, getting lots of reinforcement for being so weirdly cute, has taken this to another level. Any fabric of any sort or any print in his face he'll talk to. To watch him you'd think he either had a screw loose or he speaks fluent fabric language (both hypothisis are still up for debate). So, today, with a clean dish towel down on the counter to absorb the water coming off the water bottles I was washing, Tyson Parker went into 'weirdly cute' mode.

Apparently finding said dish towel quite attractive, he slowly approached it. Towel didn't bite him or threaten him back, so he continued. He tapped his beak on the counter several times letting the dish towel know he found it quite cute. Dish towel didn't respond. So, he begins doing what all tiels love, preening. He began lavishing the dish towel with his best skritches and preened the terry cloth loops into a total frazzle--the dish towel was still being quite rude as it had yet to respond to Tyson Parkers amourous advances. He preened the dish towel, he blew kisses at the dish towel, he called the dish towel [and I quote], "Pretty Birrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrd!" The dish towel remained silent and very aloof. Undaunted, Tyson Parker continued trying to get the attention of the dish towel by doing his best flirt dance. No luck, the dish towel still refused to respond to his amorous advances.

Having gotten the point, and me accidentily dropping a water bottle top in the sink as I tried to wash it while laughing hysterically, Tyson Parker leaped, slightly startled by me dropping the bottle top, off the kitchen counter and onto the floor. He then, feeling totally rejected and not too sure what to make of all my giggling, waddled off into hubby's den for a bit of male bonding and consoling.

Oh, and if in this last picture it looks like something is missing, it is. Tyson Parker can't fly due to clipped wings, but it hasn't stopped him from trying. Every attempt to fly just causes him to land on his bottom instead of his feet, thus slowly but surely breaking off one tail feather at a time. So, instead of a beautiful 10 inch long tail, the little angel has a feather duster instead.

Double Awards?!

2008-02-17T04:56:00.007-08:00

Wow, been sewing what's left of my fingers to 15 grocery bags (in 20 days, all 100% by hand) and had only had a smidgen of a chance to check two of my favorite blogs, Denise's and Anne's and upon doing so I noticed BOTH awarded my blog! Happy dance time! Well, to be technically correct, I pop wheelies and AsaMina does the happy dance.....

I've never been awarded before and am very honored and will try to do the award justice. The five blogs I award are (tiels flapping wings instead of drum roll since the drum roll would scare said tiels)................

1. Carla and Tami's Scrappin Sisters Passionately Pink blog talks about their lastest effort to help raise money for breast cancer research, a subject rather close to my heart. Both Carla and Tami also have other blogs where they discuss family and their passion for scrap booking--something I'd love to master. Probably need to lighten up on the glue a bit......

2. Vicki of Parrotisebeads blog is just getting started, but what she's posted is eloquent and enjoyable to read. A bit about her, a bit about our AREtys meet and greet and two stunning pictures of her beautiful African Grey and two Sun Conures! Yeah, Vicki is also owned by birds.

3. Erin of snowman fame has a great blog to read when you need a smile. Toilets currently line her banner and that sense of humor is carried through each blog entry. Always recommended as a good read and a gaurenteed giggle.

4. The BeadedBombshell , aka Dianna, employs the universal language of music and picture (video) in her blog. I love the creativity and thought she puts behind each of her posts. Also a great blog to visit on a 'need a pick me up' kinda day.

5. Laurie of Isinglass Design's blog is where you want to go to see her latest amazing lampwork beads. She's also the one who made me my AREtsy Valentine swap gift of three little tiel glass beads that I'm STILL doing a happy dance over (and Cleo is still trying to convince me the one that looks like her is really hers and not mine---have it hung out of tiel reach for the moment)

Ok, now I'm supposed to type out the fine print:

---Blog awardees must mention the name of their awarder (little old me) on their blog with a link.

--- Blog awardees must then honor 5 other blogs with awards.

This was fun! Ok, now back to our regularly scheduled program......

The Asha Chronicles--Part 5

2008-02-16T08:50:00.002-08:00

This is Part 5 of the Asha Chronicles. In this episode the plight of animal abuse is touched upon and then humanely delt with. This particular chapter of the Asha Chronicles was written completely by Tim. But, the story of Sammy and his bad human don't end here, they will be continued in Part 6 of the Asha Chronicles (to be posted later on), where Tim and I collaborate together with Denise Felton 's own addition to the story, an invisible cat named Snickers who is the mascot at the museum in which she works. You'll just have to stay tuned to see what happens in Part 6. For now, enjoy Part 5

Flight of Feathers
Part 5
by Tim Graham
2/3/2008

Murder Most Fowl

Parrots are very social creatures. In the wild they travel together in flocks that can number in the thousands. They fly together in patterns that are amazing in their intricacy and colorfulness. Those parrots who have become human companions do not have the option to join a flock. So, in the spirit of the human phrase which states that ‘When in Rome…’ they have picked up a human custom.
They love to party.
BabyGirl, one of the Feathered Friends, had picked Valentine’s Day to host a party of her many friends from the Bird Channel. In the spirit of the date, she decided to host a Couples Party. Her special beau Ben would of course be there as would fellow FF Asha and her new Las Vegas friend Stubby. The other two Friends-Asa and Cecil-were coming without dates but, like was already mentioned, birds love any excuse to party.
BabyGirl lives in a suburb of Kansas City, not too far from Asa’s home in Arkansas. It was pretty well centrally located for most of the BC crowd and BabyGirl was widely renowned for her ability to throw a good party.
Birds began arriving at first light and continued to show up as the day went by. The birds entertained themselves by playing games such as Avian Idol and Tag. Tag was a special favorite among the group as it allowed some to show off their acrobatic flying skills. Ben was a proven master at this game and, as usual, he took first place and a well-earned Beak Kiss from BabyGirl. There were also prizes given for the Cutest Couple and for the bird who flew the furtherest.
Asha, who had spent at least two days prior to the party primping and making sure that her feathers were especially resplendent, had sworn that she and Stubby would win the Cutest Couple prize. They had tough competition from a pair of Blue Winged Macaws, but they took the competition by two votes.
“Whew,” Asha said to Stubby after the voting was announced. “That was closer than I would have liked.”
“I never knew you were such a Diva,” said Stubby with a grin. “I didn’t think you country girls were like that.”
Asa had overheard Stubby’s remark and dropped beside the two.
“One thing you will learn if you stay together with our Ninja Diva is that the only thing she loves more than beating up bad guys is looking good,” Asa said. “I hear she has worn out three mirrors already practicing her ninja kicks. She wants to make sure she shows just enough leg….”
Asa’s commentary was cut rudely short as one of those self-same kicks barely missed her head.
“You better watch out there Convict Chick, I sharpened my talons especially for this party,” Asha said with a chuckle.
The three grabbed a perch in a nearby bush as Asa started telling Stubby stories of their past adventures, stories which centered on Asha’s desire to look as good as possible. Asha, though embarrassed, could not deny any of the stories and it was hard to tell if Stubby was hearing much of what was said as intently as he was looking at Asha’s green, yellow, and blue feathers.
Cecil was sitting on a nearby branch but his eyes were directed differently than Stubby’s. He couldn’t take them off Asa. Although Cecil was a budgie and Asa a cockatiel, it was obvious that his heart belonged solely to Asa. The problem was that Cecil, although he had the personality of a bird ten times his size, he was totally tongue-tied when he got around Asa. As he watched the object of his affections talking with Asha and Stubby, Cecil sighed and flew listlessly away.
Cecil finally landed in a maple tree a couple of blocks away from BabyGirl’s house. He had come to the conclusion that attending the party had been a bad idea and was about ready to fly back and tell everyone goodbye when he heard a noise from a neighboring house. The noise sounded to him like a bird crying so he glided to the window the sound had come from.
What Cecil saw was a sickening shock. A human was holding a Congo African Grey parrot in his hand as he shouted.
“I told you to shut up you stupid bird!” the human said. “I need to get some sleep so I can go to work but I can’t with you squawking all the time! I should have had my head examined for letting my wife ever get you. You are nothing but trouble!”
The human tried to throw the bird to the floor but the parrot instinctively grabbed on to the man’s hand with his talons.
“Yikes!’ The man shouted. “That hurts.” He began shaking the bird which tried to escape the man’s clutches by biting his hand repeatedly.
“That’s all the crap I will take from you,” the man shouted as he dropped the bird and grabbed his bleeding hand. “You’re one dead birdy.”
The man left the room and soon returned with a baseball bat. To Cecil’s horror, after several attempts, he was finally able to hit the parrot and kill it. The man took the bird’s body and dumped it in the trash can.
Cecil was almost paralyzed in fear and anger. He flew into the air and circled the neighborhood for several minutes trying to figure out what to do. Deciding that this was obviously a job for the Feathered Friends, he turned towards BabyGirl’s house with a heavy heart and a red-hot anger.
Cecil arrived back at Baby-Girl’s house as several of the partygoers who had the furthest to travel were beginning to leave. He was able to gather the hostess along with Asha and Asa alone under a maple tree in the front yard. The four could tell that the small bird had been through a serious trauma so they kept quiet until Cecil was able to tell his story. Once he could it all spilled out at once.
“Well, this one should be simple,” growled Asha. “This one will be bloody.”
“Wait,” said Asa. “Get a hold of yourself. You can’t just fly off and try to kill this guy. That’s not what we are all about. We bring the bad guys to justice, we don’t just take the law into our hands.”
“But this is different,” said Asha. “This is way different. Before it was humans threatening other humans. This time it is a human deliberately murdering one of our own. The crime is against us and it is our law we turn to. The law of the jungle.”
“ I don’t know Asha,” said an obviously conflicted BabyGirl. “Maybe Asa is right. Maybe we should just call the police and report the crime. They can gather the evidence and arrest this awful person.”
“Right,” sneered Asha. “And what do you suppose the punishment is for a human to murder a parrot? They would laugh that out of court. You all need to open your eyes to what is happening in the world. Killing birds is a SPORT in this country! If we had been born quail or ducks in this country, humans could hunt us down with guns.”
“Asha is right,” said Cecil. “You could have seen the look in that guys’ eyes. He didn’t even consider that poor bird a living creature. He deserves whatever he gets.”
“Are you suggesting we kill this human?” asked Asa quietly. “Do we descend to his level and play by his rules? Is that what you are suggesting?”
“No,” said Asha. “The temptation is strong but no, we won’t go there. But we can make him very sorry he ever raised his hand to that poor creature.”
“In that case I have an idea of what we can do,” said Asa with a grim smile on her face. “I just need to contact an old friend of mine and we can be ready to get to work before too long. We won’t be able to do anything until tomorrow night so do you think you all could stay over until then?”
The other three agreed to stay the night at BabyGirl’s house. They slept inside but had to go outside when BabyGirl’s mom got up to feed her birds and clean their cages. The four did not want her to know they were there so she wouldn’t get implicated in what they were planning. After the human went to work the four friends spent the rest of the day planning their actions for that evening as well as catching up on events in their lives. Truth be known, they spent most of the day napping and preening each other’s feathers but that wouldn’t sound very heroic, would it?
Their first move that evening was to go over to the home of their target. Cecil slipped up to one of the houses’ windows and checked inside. He quickly whistled for the others to join him and they peeked inside to see him slumping in a chair with a whiskey bottle lying empty beside his chair.
“This is working out better and better,” said Asa. “I figured we would have to raid a drugstore to get something to confuse his mind but he has done that for us.”
“It doesn’t take much to confuse the mind of someone like him,” hissed Asha. “Let’s get the show on the road. Just looking at this thing makes me feel dirty.”
A few minutes later the drunken human stirred and lurched awake as Cecil threw a cup of water on his face. But the man did not pay any attention to Cecil, he was too busy looking at Asha who was perched on the mantle over the fireplace. Asha was covered in dust and, in the poor light, resembled the recently murdered parrot.
“Where did you come from?” asked the confused and drunk human. “I took care of you yesterday. What are you doing there?”
“Nevermore,” was all Asha said.
The man began to walk towards Asha when, to his left, he heard the same word spoken from the kitchen by BabyGirl.
“Nevermore!”
“What is going on here?” the man pleaded as he staggered into the kitchen to find nothing. He looked around frantically and then heard from just outside the open rear door to the house.
“Nevermore!” spoken this time by Cecil.
The man staggered out the door when he heard the mantra spoken by Asha again just round the corner of the house. In this manner the four were able to guide the drunken and frightened man to an abandoned shed just down the block. When he ran inside he turned as he heard the door shut behind him and was then transfixed by the sight of an enormous barn own perched on a windowsill in the far wall of the shed.
The man was scared practically out of his wits by this time. He silently did as he was told as Asha hissed at him to sit down and keep quiet.
“You have committed a crime against all living creatures,” said the owl in a deep, quiet voice that inspired awe in the human. “The only crime that bird committed was to act like a bird. The punishment you imposed for that crime was death. It could be said that your only crime was to act like a human. You showed stupidity, arrogance, and impatience; all of the best traits of the human race.
“It would perhaps be only fair for us to impose the punishment of death on you just as you did to your bird,” the owl intoned. “But that is not our way. We try to be fair. We know that each and every life on this planet is precious and not ours for the taking. It may be that you will be further punished when you leave this life; that is not ours to know or judge.
“I sentence you to perform twenty hours a week community service at the local animal rescue shelter every week for the remainder of your sorry life,” the owl said. “If you fail to do this, a sentence of death will be carried out. Know you now that every animal in the world now knows what you have done,” the owl said in a rising voice. “If you do not carry out your sentence you will be killed. Whether the sentence is carried out by a bird, a snake, a dog, or an elephant, it makes no difference. Do you understand this sentence?”
“Yesssss…..I do,’ the man stammered. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me. I’m so sorrrrrryyyy….” The human began to cry in great racking sobs as the assembled birds flew away.
The four friends thanked the owl for his help and gathered back at BabyGirl’s house.
“Do you think he will do the community service?” asked Cecil. “Can we trust him?”
“I think so,” said Asa. “His spirit was pretty well broken. And if he doesn’t, well, I guess we will just have to think of something else.”
“Yeah, how about a talon sandwich,” said Asha. “I’m betting that if I make that face of his look like hamburger it will remind him of what he did every morning when he looks in the mirror,”
“Well, the sun is just about ready to come up,” said Asa. “You said you wanted us to make sure to be together now, Asha. What is on that blue-fronted mind of yours.”
“Yeah, we did just about all we could to settle accounts for that poor bird killed by that guy,” Asha said quietly. “But there is one more thing we need to do” she said as she reached under a fern and pulled out the mangled body of the African Grey.
“I was able to pull his body out of that trash can and I found a band around his foot,” Asha said. “His name was Sammy,” she said before having to pause to compose herself.
“I think he deserves a proper sendoff to the Rainbow Bridge,” Asha said.
The four used their talons to scratch out a small hole in the dark loam of the garden behind BabyGirl’s house. They lovingly placed Sammy’s body in the hole and covered him with dirt.
“Fly free, brave Sammy, Fly free!” Asa said.

The Asha Chronicles--Part 4

2008-02-13T19:01:00.002-08:00

Well, here it is, the fourth adventure of The Feathered Four. This particular 'episode' was written by Tim with idea inputs from me. Tim was in journalisim for 20 years and his writing show's his skill beautifully. Although he and I always seem to be on the very same wave lenght, I have a tendency to be more detail oriented and he's more to the point oriented. In my opinion, our two styles blend beautifully together.

The Las Vegas idea was totally Tims. But, my best friend, and the creator of Elsie, lived in Vegas just before she passed away. Dolly and I were the best of best friends for about 9 years. She was friends with my first two tiels, R.B. Bird and Moana (his biological sisiter). Dolly, on December 13, 2001 became a God-Mommy to her very first tiel, AsaMina Sura. Dolly is also the one who named AsaMina, 'Asa' and her 'Mina' is in honor of Dolly, who was as Italian as Italian can be. So, when Tim approached me with this Vegas idea, I added in my two cents worth, Dolly and her history with one of The Asha Chronicles main characters, my AsaMina Sura, and below is the end result. I hope it makes you smile.

Flight of Feathers Part 4
by Tim Graham
Feb 25, 2008

What Happens in Vegas……

One of the main methods the Feathered Friends kept in contact with each other were the blogs at the Bird Channel. Each bird had their own web page complete with pictures and the opportunity to send messages back-and-forth to the other birds on the channel.
One of Asha’s biggest friends on the BC was Beavis. Beavis was a Quaker from Virginia who was more than twenty years old. Beavis was small like most of his breed, but he was a fun-loving bird who liked to go by the nickname of Yoda. Beavis was much respected by the other birds in the community for the wisdom garnered from such an advanced age. Asha-for instance-was the oldest for the Feathered Four at nine.
One sunny day Asha-a Blue-Front Amazon- went on line to talk to her friends when she noticed that she had not heard from Beavis in several days. She checked his site and saw that he not been online for almost a week. Asha began to get worried. Twenty was pretty old for a Quaker and Asha’s first concern was that her friend had passed over to the Rainbow Bridge, where all pets go to await being reunited with their human companions.
The problem kept gnawing at Asha until one day when she knew her Daddy was going to be away from the home for the day, she took off north and flew to Virginia to find out what had happened to her friend. Asha got the advantage of some good tailwinds and soon arrived at Beavis’ hometown of Virginia Beach and landed in the front yard of his human companion, Joyce.
Asha had never tried to communicate directly with humans before so she wandered around the outside of the house hoping to see some sign of what had happened to Beavis. Soon she peeked in a window and saw Beavis’ mother sitting in front of an empty cage with tears in her eyes. She got up and walked out of the room but as she left she dropped a piece of paper to the floor. Asha squeezed through a small crack in the window and glided over to where the paper lay on the floor.
“Dear Mom,” the note began. “I don’t want to hurt you but I was so upset over not being named Bird of the Week that I just have to do something. I know that if I stay here I will just turn into a mean and vicious bird and you do not deserve that. I have left for Las Vegas where I will live out the remainder of my days gambling and doing other bad things. Love, Beavis.”
Asha was horrified. She had heard many humans talk about what an evil place Las Vegas was. She did not want a friend of hers to go to a place like that. She decided to return to Georgia and call together the Four Friends and lead them to Nevada and rescue her friend.
When the other three members of the group had arrived Asha showed them the note.
“Why, that Bird of the Week contest is just a silly popularity poll,” squawked the Orange-Wing Amazon BabyGirl.
“The worst part is that it is all for the egos of the humans,” said Asa, a cockatiel. “The birds could not care less for the most part. I’m surprised that Beavis got so worked up over it.”
“Well, what’s done is done and we need to do something to rescue him,” said Asha. “Las Vegas is no place for a parrot like Beavis. There is no telling what the humans there would do to him. I’m really worried,” Asha turned her head from the others but it was clear that she was crying.
“Don’t worry pal,” said Cecil, a budgie. “We’ll get your friend out of that place and back home where he belongs.”
“Thanks you all, I knew I could depend on you,” Asha said with a smile on her sharp, black beak.
The four took off together and headed due west to Las Vegas. Asha had checked a map before leaving, and was glad that they would not have to fly over something called the Rocky Mountains. The Feathered Friends were tough birds, but that might have been more than they could have hoped to achieve. After a couple of days flying over the heartland of America, the four reached the deserts of Nevada and soon sighted in the distance the lights of Nevada.
“Wow!” said BabyGirl. “That is bright! And there are so many different colors. I didn’t humans could make something so beautiful.”
The four spend the remainder of the night in a small woods park on the outskirts of town. They all noticed that there were very few trees in the area. It was obvious that they would have to do the majority of their perching on buildings and not trees.
“I suggest that we try to blend in with the community,” said Asa. “Maybe we could try to get some jobs and try to find some clues of where Beavis might be. And we can stay with my human God-Mother Dolly. She lives here and makes the best spaghetti noodles you’ve ever tasted.”
“Well, I will certainly give a ‘talons up!’ To that idea,” said Asha. “I’m as hungry as a vulture. I could slurp noodles all day!”
The four headed to the home of Asa’s God-Mother who welcomes then with open arms and soon had a pot of noodles on to boil. They quickly told her of their mission and she agreed to help them as much as possible.
“If you want to get jobs the best places are the casinos,” Dolly said. “They should be able to find positions for four parrots as talented as you are.”
They set out from Dolly’s the next morning and headed for the area she had called ‘the strip’.
“There are plenty of casinos here,” said Cecil. “Where do we start?”
“That’s easy,” quipped Asha. “We’re birds. We start at the tallest one and work out way down!”
“They picked the tallest building they could see and headed for the top floor. They spied a garden on the top of the building and an older man with a full head of blonde hair man lying on a couch next to a swimming pool. Asha pointed her head in his direction and the four landed next to the reclining man.
“Hello sir,” said Cecil. “We were wondering of you knew where four young parrots new in town might be able to find a job?”
The man looked quite shocked to have a parrot address him in such a manner but quickly gathered his wits and said with a smile: “I might have jobs for you. What can you do?”
“Well, Asha is our Diva while BabyGirl is pretty good with her hands,” said Cecil. “I’m pretty good at communicating with people and Asa is just about the cutest thing in the world,” he finished with a blush.
“Well, I’ve had auditioned many people for jobs, but this is truly a first,” said the man. “I might just have to turn this into another television series,” he said as he reached for a telephone. “Hello, this is Trump. Send up the manager.
“Asha, you I’m going to have work in our chorus line tonight. BabyGirl I think you will do well as a dealer at the blackjack tables. Asa, you can work as a receptionist at the front desk and Cecil, you might as well help her out. I can tell I’d have a hard time keeping you away from her anyway,” he said with a wide grin.
Another man had arrived and asked: “What can I do for you Mr. Trump?”
“There four parrots are now on the payroll,” Mr. Trump said. “Take them down and get the paperwork started.” He turned to the four friends and said: “Just to make it official, You’re Hired!”
What followed was a hurricane of activity as the four friends put their claw-prints to as long series of forms, most of which had to do with something they were unfamiliar with called ‘taxes.’ They were then whisked off to separate areas where they were fitted for clothes and given training for their jobs. They were finally able to get together again in a coffee shop at about 5 p.m.
The other three had to marvel at the outfit Asha had been fitted with. Since she supplied all the feathers needed, her uniform consisted mainly of jewels of many different colors. They all contrasted with her natural green, yellow, and blue feathers to cast off a rainbow that shifted hues as she moved from underneath one different colored light to another.
“Hubba, hubba!” gasped Cecil! “That is one nice outfit! It’s a good thing your Daddy isn’t here or he would lock you up and never let you out!”
Cecil had on a black-and-white uniform similar to the ones which Asa and Baby-Girl wore.
“Guess they figured these lilies didn’t need any gilding,” Cecil said with a smirk.
“My first show is at 7 p.m.,” said Asha, trying hard to ignore Cecil’s crack. “I hope you all will be able to come and watch. I’m as nervous as can be! I’ve never performed for humans before.”
“Don’t worry,” said Asa. “They’ll be looking at the human females you’ll be working with. You’ll do fine! Anyway, I got a chance to call Dorothy and she said that she will contact the parrot underground here in Las Vegas and see if they have heard anything about Beavis.”
“Parrot underground?” asked BabyGirl. “I’ve never heard of a parrot underground. What is it?”
“It is a group of humans who love and respect parrots and try to help any who are in need,” said Asa. “They try to get parrots out of abusive homes and help any who are wandering around homeless like Beavis must be.”
They split up and went to their separate jobs. Asa and Cecil helped at the receptionist’s desk at the front of the casino while BabyGirl got ready to deal out hands of Blackjack. BabyGirl was surprised when one of her first players was a blue-front Amazon just like Asha.
“What are you looking at?” he asked. “You look like you have never seen a parrot play blackjack before.”
“Sorry,” said BabyGirl as she dealt the cards. The humans had been forced to trim her claws to keep her from scratching the cards. She noticed that the design on the back of the cards was an eagle. ‘Dang vermin think they are such a big deal.’ She thought to herself. ‘Nothing but vultures in prettier clothing.’
“Actually one of my best friends is a blue front,” BabyGirl said, “and to be honest, by now I should have learned to never be surprised by anything.”
The parrot player busted on four cards and looked up at BabyGirl.
“Who is this friend on yours?” he asked. “I haven’t met many blue fronts here in Las Vegas.”
“Her name is Asha and if you hurry you might just be able to catch the start of her show in the auditorium,” said BabyGirl. “By the way, what is your name?”
“It’s Stubby,” he said as he left the table.
“Hey,” BabyGirl said to herself. “He was pretty cute. Too bad he didn’t like orange wings, I’d have played a few hands with him!”
Stubby got tired of trying to dodge the feet of hundreds of humans and finally took wing and flew into the auditorium where the show was just beginning. There wasn’t much to hold his attention until a line of chorus girls came out. The middle one-a tall redhead human who was so obviously top-heavy that it was a wonder she did not fall on her face-had a parrot sitting on her shoulder. But it wasn’t just any parrot, it was a blue-front Amazon bedecked in more jewels than you could find in the Tower of London.
“Oh….My…..God!” gasped Stubby. “That is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life!”
Stubby’s attention was glued to Asha as she continued through the act which consisted of her slowly peeling off pieces of the human’s costume until she was as naked as the local laws would allow. The line of girls then exited the stage to loud applause and whistles and one parrot who flew behind them and followed them to the dressing rooms behind the stage.
Stubby quietly kept to the shadows and followed the tall redhead until she reached her room.
“That was a great job Asha,” the woman said. “That was quite a twist to the usual striptease we do.”
“You’re welcome Joyce,” said Asha. “I was pretty nervous at first but the audience seemed to like it and that helped.”
“Well, you keep cool there while I take a shower,” said Joyce. “Those lights are hot!”
Joyce walked into the bathroom just as Stubby stepped from the shadows.
“I hope I’m not bothering you but I saw your show and I just had to come and see you,” stammered Stubby. “You’re fabulous!”
“Why, it’s no bother,” Asha purred as she looked over the male parrot. Stubby was a handsome young blue front with obvious intelligence showing from his eyes. He didn’t have as much yellow highlights as Asha did, but she told herself she had to give him points for courage.
“What are you doing in Las Vegas,” Asha asked.
“I live here,” Stubby said. “What about yourself?”
“Tell you what,” said Asha. “It’s a long story and it will be a while before my next show. Why don’t we grab some fruit juice somewhere and I’ll tell you all about it.”
Stubby agreed and that is where, a couple of hours later,that the other three friends found them when they went off shift. Asha introduced him to her friends and it was obvious from the gleam in her eye that she had quickly become quite smitten with the local parrot.
“Stubby said he can help show us around as we look for Beavis,” she said.
“Well, maybe he can help us find the Open Wings Ministry,” said Asa. “Dolly called and said that the word was that there was a parrot there who was from out of town. They said that he was apparently working off a cheerios jag. It might be Beavis.”
“Wait, a second,” said BabyGirl. “What is a cheerios jag?”
“Some parrots have a weakness for breakfast cereals,” said Asa. “Must be all the sugar. My Daddy had a weakness for Cheerios. He’d eat all he could until he would about explode. Sounds like this parrot has the same problem.”
“Let’s get going,” said Stubby. “Just follow me and we’ll be there in about ten minutes.”
The five parrots landed in front of a storefront in a section of Las Vegas that had not seen its better days in many years. They could see ‘Open Wings Ministry’ scripted on the window so they went inside. Asha explained to the lady at the front desk that she was looking for a friend from out of town who might be staying there. After describing Beavis the receptionist left the room and came back with a man in a white coat who sat down with the friends.
“It sounds like you r are describing our new resident,” the doctor said. “He just came to us this morning. Apparently he had been keeping company with a street pigeon down on the strip. They were allegedly crushing cheerios and snorting them. Pretty hardcore stuff. The pigeon brought him here when she couldn’t wake him up this morning.”
“Will he be all right?” asked Asha, close to tears. “We’ll do whatever is necessary to help him. Does he need blood? I’ll be glad to donate.”
“No transfusions will be necessary,” said the doctor. “But it might not hurt to see a friendly face. Why don’t you come with me and we’ll see if he is awake enough to have some company.”
The doctor led Asha down a long hallway and then left into another corridor before stopping in front of a small door with 139 stenciled at the top. He opened the door and Asha was almost overwhelmed with the smell of alcohol and bleach. She could see a small body nestled in the bed. It was definitely Beavis, although it was obvious that he had lost weight and his previously bright green and white feathers had lost most of their sheen. Asha and the doctor stood beside the bed for a couple of minutes until Beavis stirred his small body and turn his head their way. Immediately a smile came to his beak.
“Asha, is that really you?”
“It’s me Beavis,” Asha said with a quaver in her voice. “How’ve you been?”
“I was just dreaming of you and the good old days swapping blogs on the Bird Channel,” Beavis said. “That seems so long ago….”
“Not that long old friend,” Asha said. “All we need to do is get you better and then take you back to your momma and things will be just like they always were, you just wait and see.”
“I’ve been thinking a lot about why I came here and I know I was just being stupid,” Beavis said. “I don’t care who those stupid birds name Bird of the Week. It’s the love of my mom and friends like you that really matters. Heck, I’m twenty years old. That’s ancient for a Quaker. I don’t need to be wasting even a single day worrying about stuff like that. I need to be living.”
“We better be going,” the doctor said gently as Beavis’ head lolled over and he went back to sleep.
On the way back to the reception area Asha was thinking about what Beavis had said. The first nine years of her life had been spent going from one human home to another. Some had neglected her and some had just not known how to live with a parrot. But now she had a wonderful Forever Home with her daddy. She had started hanging out with a group of fellow parrots who had opened her eyes to the wide world around her and to some of the bad things that were happening in that world every day. And they had been able to, in their small feathered way, do some good and help make things better. If it hadn’t been for their help she would never had her eyes opened to those things and she would not have been able to save her friend Beavis from death. And if it hadn’t been for them she would have never met a certain blue front who she hoped would become a very important part of her life.
So it was when she got back to the reception area Asa asked: “Well, how are things?”
“Things couldn’t be going better,” Asha said as she wrapped her green wings around Asa, Cecil, BabyGirl, and Stubby. “They couldn’t be going better at all.”

The Asha Chronicles- Part 3

2008-02-10T14:40:00.000-08:00

I've never been one to 'journal', yet I do love to write a good story. I've been writing longer than I could either read or write. Hours upon hours were spent as a child with my Grandma G and her antique typewriter pounding out one fantastic story after another. I lost both my Grandparents G&G 6 years ago now and truely missed working and collaborating on stories together. That is until Tim flew into my life. Ok, not Tim, but his Amazon parrot Asha who actually flew into my grandbirdie, AsaMina Sura's life. On a request, as was previously posted, I wrote a story featuring Asha, his Amazon. That simple act has sent the two of us off into 'story-land' and we've been producing one adventure after another together using our birds and those of our friends birds on Bird Channel .Below is the third entry into what's now being called 'The Asha Chronicles'. This story was written 50/50 by both myself and Tim. I hope it makes you smile.

The Asha Chronicles
Adventure Number 3

The room was a stark and sterile white. The equipment in the room, the Feathered Four noticed, was in shades of cockatiel grey, gunmetal grey, and black. The liquid in the vials was a pale orange, but, once processed into a pill, it came out a pretty buttery cream color. The humans in the room matched the room, stark and sterile white in color. The humans, all 6 of them, were covered from head to toe in white attire. Something called a sterile suit to keep the stuff the humans were working with from being contaminated or to keep the humans from being contaminated by it.
The human with the eyes as green as Asha’s feathers was measuring out a minute amount of the orange liquid into a Petri dish. To that the human added a red liquid and a white paste and mixed them up slowly and very carefully, as if moving too fast would cause the concoction to explode.
“Why are we here?” asked Asa from the windowsill just outside the labs one window.
“Yeah, why are we here Asha?” asked Cecil as he took his jet black eyes off the labs contents and placed them on Asha, the blue fronted Amazon with luxurious emerald green feathers who’d called them there. “Not that I’m not grateful for being here, since I did hear my Mom mention that today was supposed to be cage cleaning day and I HATE when she messes with my stuff while forcing me to stay put in a tiny travel cage.”
“Dad had the news on last night and they did a report on some cholesterol medication that is supposed to be a miracle cure for humans. Charles Gibson, the news reporter human who said all of this, said that there are rumors that the Michaela-Jones Drug Company is recycling toxic waste, turning it into a liquid, that orange stuff there,” Asha paused to tilt her yellow, blue and green feathered head in the direction of a tray of four dozen vials of orange liquid, then continued, “and then making it into pills for the humans to take to cure this stuff they get called cholesterol.”
“But, if it’s toxic, won’t that kill the humans instead of cure them?” BabyGirl, the orange winged Amazon, asked logically.
“Yeah, it would kill them.” said Asa simply.
“That’s why I brought you all here. We need to get whatever papers we can for proof for the other humans to see that the Michaela-Jones Company is trying to kill humans, not save them,” said Asha.
“Still doesn’t make sense. Why would the humans want to kill sick humans?” asked BabyGirl, still puzzled.
“I bet it has to do with the cost of that stuff the humans call health insurance. I bet that if there are no more sick humans the insurance companies will get super rich. Humans go a bit nuts around this stuff called money. Kind of like we do with millet sprays, or Asa does with Cheerios.” Cecil thought out loud.
“Hmmmm…Cheerios,” whispered Asa thoughtfully. “I sure hope no humans ever poison Cheerios. Then I’d get really mad and turn into what my Grandma calls my alter ego Psyco Birdie.”
“Well, it would help if we keep our minds on the job here Convicts Chick,” hissed Asha “We’ll have to figure out how to get in and find the papers that tell what the humans are doing here in this lab and then get them to this Charles Gibson news guy so he can hopefully stop them from killing sick humans and making the insurance companies rich. “And since you are our official lock-pick, get your mind off cereal and onto the job” finished Asha.
“We seem to be spending a lot of time trying to keep humans from killing each other,” asked Cecil. “What’s the story on that? Why can’t they live together like we do? We’re a cockatiel, a budgie and two Amazons and we seem to be able to get along. Why can’t humans do the same?”
“I sure wish I knew,” Asa said. “Most of the time when my grandma watches the news on television she tells me how the humans take out all the good parts and only keep the bad parts. She says that more humans like the bad than like the good. She tells me that we were sent here from beyond the Rainbow Bridge to love and protect humans, like angels. Like my Daddy Bird. And I do what my grandma tells me to do….most of the time.”
“Well, you do what I tell you to do now and that is find us a way into that office behind those men,” said Asha. “Let’s fly around and see if there are any windows we can get through.”
The four avian adventurers flew to the other side of the building where they found a small window that looked onto a room filled with computer screens and filing cabinets. The window was open just a crack and emanating from that crack was the sounds of a parrot of some sort.
“This is what we are looking for, an open window” said Cecil. “Do you girls…uh, Diva’s and Asa…hear what I ear?” Cecil added as the parrots desperate calls reached his tiny ears.
“Yeah, I hear it.” Said Asha, Asa, and BabyGirl simultaneously.
“What’s a parrot doing in a lab?” asked BabyGirl.
“I think it’s like Frankenstein or some movie like that. They use animals, usually rats and monkeys, as experiments. Humans inject the stuff they invent into them to see what happens. If they don’t die and sometimes if they do, the humans sell the stuff to other humans, like this cholesterol medication stuff.” said Asa knowledgably.
“Where on earth do you get this stuff?” asked BabyGirl.
“Grandma reads to us mystery books and we watch PBS all the time.” Asa said simply, before adding, “You know, I think I’m going to give Cecil the honor of getting into the room. I think this opening is too small for anyone but him.”
“Isn’t is always ‘ladies first’?” Cecil joked as he ducked down and easily slipped through the tiny opening and into the room.
“It’s one of those new fangled pop out windows, Cecil. Just put your talons on the glass and your beak on those latches and push them out toward the room, then stand back.” Asha instructed.
Cecil did as he was instructed and, once the two latches were pointing toward the room, Cecil silently flew to the computer on the extremely neatly organized desk and immediately left a ‘little something’ on the keyboard for the office’s owner.
Before they entered the room Asha whispered a warning.
“Remember, these people are willing to kill their own kind for something called money. You can be sure they would kill us if they catch us. Be careful and watch each other’s tail feathers.”
The three Feathered Friends still outside, put all their weight against the glass of the window pane. Slowly it began to move and finally, with way too loud of a thunk, it popped open.
“SHHHHHH!!!” The foursome all whispered at the window as they immediately took flight and landed on the ceiling fan.
“What was that?” said a human voice from the other room.
“Uh, probably my window again.” Another human sighed from the same room as the first human, “I’ve put in a dozen requisitions to Maintenance to fix it, but so far no luck. One good deep sigh from the wind and it flops open. I’ll go shut it as soon as we’re done injecting this new batch of Orange 66 into Mergatriod and Zippy.”
“Weren’t we supposed to inject a 6 mm dose into that stupid bird, too?” asked the first human.
“Uh, nah, we need to inject that bird with the Yellow 99.” answered the second human.
“We need to get that parrot out of there before we even think of rescuing any papers!” whispered Asha heroically.
“Yeah.” agreed Asa also in a whisper.
“I can see that the next room, where I’m sure the humans and the parrot is, has a transom just above the door. Lets get out tails over there and wait for the humans to leave.” whispered BabyGirl.
“Why don’t you Amazon Ninjas go paper hunting while the Convicts Chick and I go after the parrot.” whispered Cecil.
“We don’t know what’s in that room, Cecil.” whispered Asa, It may take all of us to get that parrot out. There are also two other critters, a Mergatriod and a Zippy. We can’t leave them behind if there is any hope of saving them.” Asa added. It was her turn to be heroic, as well as logical.
“Ok, ALL of us will go to that transom and wait.” Said Asha decisively.
Asha had apparently had the last word, as without further ado, the Feathered Four took off silently for the transom of the room just across the hall.
With talons gripping the soft pine frame of the transom so as not to slip on the slick frosted glass, the Feathered Four, took in the contents of the room: in a hospital green colored room stood two men in lab coats, each with a big hairy rat in their heavily gloved hands.
“Got Yellow 99 into Zippy.” said one of the lab men
“And, we got Orange 66 into Mergie.” the other said cheerfully.
Mergie and Zippy both began to seize, causing each man to drop his rat. Upon hitting the floor, both rats passed over the Rainbow Bridge, causing the parrot, a blue and gold Macaw, to cry out in sorrow and heartbreak at the loss of her only friends. Asa opened her beak in an automatic attempt to comfort the partially bald blue and gold, but remember at the last moment where they were, and closed it again. Cecil, Asha, and BabyGirl all sighed audibly.
“Sounds like the wind is picking up.” said the skinny lab guy with the wild red hair. “I’ll go close that window.” he concluded as he turned to leave the room and remedy the sound he interpreted as the wind through the window.
“I’ll join you. We need to document the deaths of these rats and requisition a couple more for the adjustments on Yellow 99 and Orange 66.” Said the slightly heavier lab guy with wild snow white hair.
“Yeah, we’ll need a few more rats for tests when 66 and 99 are combined.” said the red headed lab guy.
“Hmm, forgot about those tests. Will do.” said the second lab guy as he exited the room via the door just below the Feathered Four, who were still perched precariously on the transom, and turned and went left down the hall, probably to put in that requisition they’d just heard him mention.
“I’ll join you in a moment.” said the first lab guy as he locked the lab door behind him.
Once both lab guys were out of sight, the Feathered Four entered the room through the transom they’d been perched on. Asa and Cecil went immediately over to the blue and gold macaw while Asha and BabyGirl went to check on the two rats who were still lying on the floor.
“They’re dead, just like all the rest.” said the macaw.
“Did they pluck all your feathers off? Or did you lose your feathers from that stuff they gave the rats?” asked Cecil, genuinely concerned.
“No, I pulled my own feathers out.” Stated the macaw in a very depressed tone of voice. “They think I’m diseased and have been too scared to get near me, so I just keep plucking my feathers so they don’t kill me, too.”
“Smart.” Stated Asa with a beak full of padlock. “I don’t think even I can chew through this, but those wing nuts should be a piece of cake to turn.”
Cecil joined Asa at the top of the Macaws cage and helped her turn the wing nut on the left side while Asha and BabyGirl, after watching the odd couple for a moment, began the same process on the second wing nut on the other side of the cage.
“What’s your name?” asked Asa as the first of the two wing nuts came loose and fell noisily to the floor.
“SHHHHH!!!” said Asha in her most undiva like tone.
“Names Halon. And, don’t worry about the noise. The lab guys will just assume it’s me throwing my food bowls again.” Halon said in a monotone voice.
“Did you get that side Asha and BabyGirl?” asked Cecil.
“Just got in now!” said Asha as BabyGirl pitched the wing nut across the room.
“I can push my roof off, I’ve done it before. But, it’ll make way too much noise if it falls.” said Halon with a bit more happiness in her voice due to the thought of finally being free.
“We can slide it just far enough for you to squeeze out, ok?” said Asa.
“Sure, good thinking.” said Halon.
The nearly bald blue and gold macaw climbed up her rusted cage bars and with the top of her head lifted the cage top just enough for the Feathered Four to grab it with their beaks and slide it about eight inches, more than enough space for Halons skinny body to squeeze out.
“Ok, do you think you can keep up with us, or would you like me to get you outside where you can hide in the bushes till we find what we came here for?” asked Asa.
“I think I can keep up with you guys. I haven ‘t eaten in quite a while, but I think the idea of freedom is more powerful than my empty tummy at the moment.” Halon began. “What do you need to find?” she ended.
“Papers telling about that new cholesterol drug made from toxic waste. Do you know where the humans keep them?” asked Asha.
“I can do better than papers.” smirked Halon “I know where they keep those shiny circles things that all the information and test results are kept. That cholesterol stuff is what killed my friends Mergie and Zippy.” said Halon, a burst of energy just found.
“Well, lets hurry before those humans come back in!” said Cecil as he got airborne and circled the four still perched on the top of Halons rusty cage.
“Right over there…um…didn’t catch any of your names.” said Halon
“Sorry for the bad manners.” Asa apologized before introducing her ninja team, “I’m Asa. The blue buzzard is Cecil. And the blue fronted Amazon is Asha and the orange winged one is BabyGirl.”
“Ok, now we’re officially friends.” said Halon as she joined Cecil in the air and led the Feathered Four to a computer across the room. “Here, the shiny disks are kept in that locked box. I have no clue how you’ll get them out, but that’s where they’re kept.” said Halon, her still fully feathered wing extended toward the small locked plastic box.
“Piece of cake!” said Asa as she literally began to chew right through the plastic.
“Ok, how does he do that?” asked Halon, honestly puzzled at the rate of speed Asa was able to chew through the heavy plastic encapsulating the computer disks.
“First off, she’s a she. A girl ‘Asa’. Asa is short for AsaMina Sura.” began Cecil, as he defended his ladies honor. “Her friend Rosalie named her the Convicts Chick, you name it, she can break into it or out of it. Heck the girl can chew through concrete!”
“Wow.” said Halon astonished.
Asha and BabyGirl giggled, both at Halons astonishment at the Convicts Chicks speed at chewing through the plastic box and the fact she was actually a little girl.
“Ok, there are four disks in here. I say we each take one and get out tail feathers out of here.” said Asa as she peered into the now open box.
“Lets do it!” said Asha a bit too loudly.
“That air duct up there leads to the outside. “said Halon as she tilted her head toward a duct just to the left of the smoke alarm on the wall they were sitting before. “There are a couple of raccoons who come through there all the time, but only at night, to see if they can get in. Not sure why they want in, but I’m sure raccoons just aren’t very smart.”
“Ok Asa, do it again.” said BabyGirl as Asa flew up and quickly chewed through the mesh in front of the air duct.
The Feathered Four and Halon cautiously made their way through the air duct toward a breeze that came from somewhere just beyond their sight. After about a five minute waddle, they made it to the end of the duct and the outside.
“Where to from here?” Asked Halon.
“We’re going to take you to Eva’s in Charleston South Carolina. She’ll take you right in and take the best care of you you could ever imagine. She’s Mom to a couple of my best friends, Leah Danielle Sharon and Ruby Francesca Begonia. She is also Mom to the famous Rosalie Hale Bopp, who gave me my nickname. Rosie and Ruby and blue and golds just like you. Leah is a hawk head parrot and is really cool, you’ll like her a lot, too. Then the four of us are headed to Cecils in New York to get these disks to Charles Gibson so he can help the humans.” Asa said, then quickly added, “Eva will get you your own message page on Bird Channel. That’s how we all stay in touch, so no worries, we’re hard to get rid of. Once our friend, your our friend for life, thick and thin and we’ll always be there for you.”
“Amen sister!” said Asha and BabyGirl.
“Sounds ok.” said Halon uneasily.
“You’ll be fine.” reassured Cecil. “Trust us.” he added as he nuzzled Halons bare chest, which was as high up as he could reach on the nearly naked macaw.
The Feathered Four and Halon headed for Charleston. Once there, they made sure Halon and Eva were properly introduced and Halon felt relatively safe in her new home. Eva was one of those rare humans, like Asa’s Grandma, Asha’s Dad and BabyGirl and Cecils Mom and Dad, they understood birds and even were able to interpret some of their sounds, enough to know what they wanted or needed most of the time. Halon would be safe and happy from now on, they knew that for a fact.
The four friends flew back to Cecil’s home in Tonawanda, New York and found a lost cell phone. With Asa’s help, Cecil called Charles Gibson’s office and left an anonymous tip that Mr. Gibson could find some important information on the new cholesterol drug in the crevice of a gargoyle located on 5th Avenue near 123 Street.
The four friends shared the narrow ledge just above the gargoyle, yet very hidden from human view, as they watched Gibson approach the hidden information and pick it up.
“Well, I guess we did pretty good today,” said BabyGirl.
“We sure did,” said Asa. “But you don’t look too happy Asha, what’s the problem?”
“I didn’t get to mess up a single one of those nasty humans. I was hoping to get to kick tail feathers on all six of them in that first lab plus their scummy bosses! And those two evil lab guys who killed those poor rats!” hissed Asha.
The other three companions laughed as Asha took off and conspicuously pooped on the windshield of a BMW 930i parked nearby.
“Here’s what I think of humans and their stupid money,” she shouted as she headed back home to Georgia.
BabyGirl, Asa and Cecil, still laughing as Ashas tirade of disapointment, also took off for home.

The Asha Chronicles- Part 2

2008-02-06T05:55:00.002-08:00

I've had a couple of requests to continue posting my stories on my blog. No arguments, of course, from me on that! The first story I posted on my blog, A Culinary Adventure, was read by a gentleman named Tim Graham. Tim then asked me to write a story about his Blue Fronted Amazon, Asha, and I did. That was the Flight of Feathers Fantasy story I posted a couple of weeks ago. Tim was a journalist for 20 years, but always wanted to write fiction. My two stories gave him that 'push' and he took 'Flight of Feathers' and wrote a sequel to it, now known at Part 2 of the Asha Chronicals. The below story is his very first attempt at fiction writing. There are now 5 parts in the Asha Chronicals and I'll post a new one every now and then. Part 2 is all Tim's writing, but the next story, Part 3, is a 50-50 collaberations by the two of us. You'll just have to be patient to read the next chapter in the Asha Chronicles. For now, enjoy Part 2.

The Asha Chronicles- Part 2

by Tim Graham

AsaMina Sura was a patient cockatiel. She had learned patience over the years while watching her grandmother work at her sewing business. Asa had always enjoyed the hours spent looking over her grandmother’s shoulder as she worked but something had happened lately that took away her patience and filled her with a need for action and excitement.
Asa and three of her parrot friends had just returned from a most unbirdlike adventure in Georgia. Along with a budgie named Cecil and a pair of Amazons named Asha and BabyGirl, Asa had helped foil a plot to murder thousands of humans. They had discovered three humans attempting to poison peaches and had stopped them in their tracks. Asa had to admit that she had really enjoyed her adventure and was really hoping that something else might happen to bring together the intrepid four avian adventurers.
“But what is the chance of that?” she asked herself. “It isn’t every day that a cockatiel gets to help save the world,” she said as she chuckled to herself and prepared to tuck her head under a wing for an afternoon nap.
But, before she could escape into sleep she heard her grandmother call to her from her place in front of the computer. “Asa,” her grandmother said. “One of your birdie friends has a message for you that I just do not understand. Do you want to come here and try to make some sense of it?”
Asa communicated with her friends through the Bird Channel on the internet where they could blog back and forth to each other . That way birds who lived far apart could keep in touch. While Asha lived in Georgia-the site of their recent adventure-Asa lived in Arkansas. Asa spread her winds and flew over to where her grandmother was sitting in front of the computer.
“Look at this message,” her grandmother said. “It is from your friend Cecil.”
Asa looked at the message and her feathers suddenly puffed up in excitement. “We need to meet.” was all the message said. But Asa knew exactly what Cecil meant. He wanted her to meet him just like they had met together in the peach orchard behind Asha’s house in Georgia prior to their last adventure.
Asa pretended that she wasn’t interested in the message and her grandmother gave up and went back to sewing. Asa knew it was better to keep the humans out of the loop. They were way too emotional and tended to cause more trouble than was necessary.
Cecil lived in New York so it would be a long flight for him to get to Arkansas. Asa tucked her head under a wing and took a nap. Suddenly she heard a sound and she woke up and looked to the window nearest her cage. She could see a vague blue shape through the glass. Cecil the Budgerator for sure. She opened the window and let him in from the frigid Arkansas night.
“I thought it was cold up in New York, but it has nothing on this Ozark Mountain cold,” Cecil said as he shook his feathers. Cecil was small as parrots go, but he had a ton of personality and was very smart. He was also hopelessly in love with Asa but was too shy to admit it. Of course, he was about the only bird in the world who did not realize how he felt.
“We need to get the gang together,” Cecil said as soon as he got warm enough to speak coherently. “I think we might have another mission.”
“Ok, I’ll get in touch with them,” said Asa. “It won’t take long for BabyGirl to get here from Missouri. But it might be later tomorrow before Asha can get here from Georgia. I’ll hide you out until everyone gets here and then we can talk together out in the garage.
BabyGirl, an orange winged Amazon arrived about noon but it was nearly dark before Asha, a blue fronted Amazon, dipped down from out of the evening sky. While Asa and Cecil could be considered the ‘brains’ of the group, the two Amazons were clearly the more physical of the quartet. The two Amazons were nearly twice the size of both Asa and Cecil. They had stubby-shaped green bodies with large beaks and long claws.
“I was wondering when you would call,” said Asha. “I just hope ninjafying Arkansas humans is as fun as it was doing it to Georgians.” Asha had the reputation in the Bird Channel of being a bit of a spoiled Diva. But the truth was that she liked nothing better than to slap a bad guy with her green wings and then poop on him just to rub it in.
“Me too,” said BabyGirl. “That peach thing was fun. What you got for us this time?” BabyGirl was younger than Asha and the older Amazon had taken her under her wing when she first came to the BC blogs.
“Well, I’ll try to explain it as best as I can but it barely makes sense to me,” said Cecil. “Did you all see the latest video from that Osama human?” The other three birds all shook their heads in affirmation. Cecil could tell that he had their attention by mentioning Osama. Parrots might make fun of their human companions, but they loved them dearly and any threat to them was taken very seriously. The most recent tape from the human terrorist had spoken of a strike ‘at the heartland of America’ but there were no clues what his intentions were. The government had downplayed the message and said they had no evidence of any threat to the country.
“You may have noticed that in the background of the video there was a small bird,” Cecil said. “It was just in view for a second or two.”
“Yes, I remember that,” said Asha. “I also remember that the bird seemed to say something but I couldn’t make out what it was.”
“Right,’ said Cecil. “Well I could tell that it was a budgie like me and I could just make out what he was saying, but it didn’t make a lot of sense until I remembered where Asa lived and it all sort of fell into place.”
“What does Springdale, Arkansas have to do with someone like Osama?” asked Asa. “About all we are famous for is being the headquarters for Tyson Foods.”
“Exactly,” said Cecil. “And what that budgie on the tape said over and over was ‘tastes like chicken, tastes like chicken.’”
The four birds suddenly felt a shared chill. A few hundred poisoned peaches was one thing, but a potential terrorist attack on the world’s largest chicken processing plant was something else altogether. They just might have beaked off a little more than four parrots could possibly chew.
At that moment Asa’s flockmate Tyson Parker fluttered up to the garage and hollered for Asa. Tyson was know as ‘the parrot who fell to Earth’ as he mysteriously landed in the middle of a church picnic one day and eventually wound up in Asa’s flock.
“Asa,” Tyson said. “Come quick. There has been anew video from that Osama creature. You need to come look.”
“Wait,” said BabyGirl. “What will your grandmother say when she sees all of us?”
“Don’t worry, she’s working in the sewing room. We can watch the television in the kitchen.” said Asa.
The four parrots flew into the house and watched as one of the all news channels broadcast the new terrorist video on a loop. Cecil was especially attentive as he looked to see if the budgie on the previous tape was also on this one.
“There he is!” Cecil squawked. “There is the budgie! Turn up the sound so I can see if he is saying something!”
Tyson turned up the sound and- although it was very faint- the birds could hear the parrot saying something over and over. A human would never be able to tell if the bird was speaking at all, but the parrot’s superior hearing could tell. And Cecil-being of the same species as the bird in the video- could tell what he was saying.
“What is it Cecil? What is he saying?” asked Asha.
“Three if by air, three if by air. That is what he is saying over and over.” whispered Cecil.
“Well, whatever they are going to do, they will be doing it from the air.” said Asa
“Heck, they’re just trying to make it easy on us,” said Asha. “Ain’t no human yet been able3 to beat a bird in the air. That’s like trying to out swim a fish.”
The four heroes went back to the garage where they discussed their plans for stopping the terrorist threat. They decided to divide up and investigate all airports in the area to see if there was anything suspicious going on.
“We need to work quickly.” warned Asa. “We have no idea when they plan on attacking the plant or just what they intend to do. Keep your eyes open and report back here by sun-up.”
The four feathered friends took off in different directions and went about their tasks with gusto. These were intelligent creatures that had spent almost all of their lives sitting on perches and performing silly tricks for their human companions. Now they had a chance to do something exciting and important. It was if a great weight had been lifted from their souls. They had never flown as high or as fast. Their eyes had never been as clear or their hearing as sharp.
Hours later three of them gathered at Asa’s garage.
“Where is BabyGirl?” asked Asha. “Did either of you hear anything from her?”
“She might have gotten lost,” suggested Cecil. “She isn’t familiar with the terrain here.”
The three waited for a couple of more hours and were just about to fly off looking for their companion when they heard a fluttering of wings at the front door of the garage.
“I have never been so scared!” BabyGirl said.
The other three parrots gathered around intent on her every word.
“I was on my way back here,” BabyGirl said after finally calming down. “I had not been able to find anything suspicious and was ready to give up when I saw a small airfield just outside of town. It looked like it had just recently been cut out of a field. I decided to go down and take a look and I saw just what we have been afraid of.” BabyGirl took a break to sip on some pineapple juice Tyson Parker had brought from the house.
“What did you see?” begged Asha. “And, what is more important, do we get to go ninja on some more bad humans?”
“I saw three men working on a small airplane,” said BabyGirl. “They were painting over the old name on it and painting Tyson Foods on it. I think that is what they are going to try to get into the plant without raising suspicions.”
“Good work BabyGirl.” said Asa. “We better get airborne and head for that field. There is not telling when they plan on making their move.”
The four feathered friends immediately took to the air and headed west out of town with BabyGirl in the lead.
“Oh, no!” BabyGirl shouted as they neared their target. “We’re too late! They’ve already taken off.”
“No, we’re not too late, we’re right on time!” shouted Asha as she pointed a long flight feather off to the north. “There they are. Put on the speed and we’ll be able to catch tem before they get to the plant.”
The four parrots flew faster than they had ever flown before and slowly caught up to the small plane. They landed on the rudder and made plans.
“Ok,” said Asa. “Since I’m known as the Convicts Chick, I will open up the door on the plane and Asha and BabyGirl will go after the pilots while Cecil and I check out the back of the plane and try to figure out what these humans are trying to do. Are you ready?”
The four feathered avengers each raised a claw and touched talons.
“When this is over I think I need to have a long talk with your Dad about the kind of stuff he lets watch on television.” Asa said with a grin.
Asa flew up and, using her beak and talons, jimmied open the door to the small plane and opened it just enough for Asha and BabyGirl to sneak in. Asha headed for the pilot, blinding him immediately. It didn’t stop him from pulling a gun from his pocket which he started firing wildly. His second shot caught his co-pilot in the chest. Asha and BabyGirl ganged up on the helpless pilot who soon hit his head on the instrument panel rendering him unconscious.
Meanwhile the third terrorist, alerted by the gunshot, stormed into the cockpit with a knife. Asha and BabyGirl were waiting as they both bit down hard on his ankles. The man fell forward and knocked himself out on the co-pilot’s chair frame.
Asha landed on a switch labeled ‘auto pilot’ and pushed down as hard as her small body could. “Baby Girl!,” Asha hollered. “Come here quick. We need to turn this on or all of our efforts will be wasted!” The two birds pushed on the switch with all of their feathery might and were finally rewarded as it turned on.
The two birds flew to the back of the plane where they found Asa and Cecil looking at several large drums labeled Anthrax.
“I’m guessing they were going to try to land near the plant and smuggle this stuff in and poison the machinery with it.” said Asa. “That way any chicken processed by the machinery would be deadly.”
“We were able to turn on the auto-pilot so the plane will keep flying until it runs out of fuel.” said Asha. “We need to contact the authorities to blow this sucker up.”
“Cecil can do that.” said Asa “He’s good at impersonating humans and he knows how to use a phone. Hey, how did you know about the auto-pilot?”
Asha smiled and winked at her friend. “Just one of those awful television shows my Dad lets me watch.” she said.
The four friends were soon back at Asa’s garage resting over some pineapple juice and birdie snacks.
“I heard on the news that the Air Force was able to shoot down that plane and destroy all of the Anthrax.” said Cecil. “Somebody named ‘Bush’ is taking credit for stopping the attack.”
“That’s ok.” said Asa. “We know who the real hero was. Let’s raise our glasses for a salute to that courageous budgie in Afghanistan who alerted us to the awful plot.”
“Salute!” they all said in unison.
“I just hope I’ll get the chance to shake his talons some day.” said Asha.