Sunday, February 10, 2008

The Asha Chronicles- Part 3


I've never been one to 'journal', yet I do love to write a good story. I've been writing longer than I could either read or write. Hours upon hours were spent as a child with my Grandma G and her antique typewriter pounding out one fantastic story after another. I lost both my Grandparents G&G 6 years ago now and truely missed working and collaborating on stories together. That is until Tim flew into my life. Ok, not Tim, but his Amazon parrot Asha who actually flew into my grandbirdie, AsaMina Sura's life. On a request, as was previously posted, I wrote a story featuring Asha, his Amazon. That simple act has sent the two of us off into 'story-land' and we've been producing one adventure after another together using our birds and those of our friends birds on Bird Channel .Below is the third entry into what's now being called 'The Asha Chronicles'. This story was written 50/50 by both myself and Tim. I hope it makes you smile.
The Asha Chronicles
Adventure Number 3

The room was a stark and sterile white. The equipment in the room, the Feathered Four noticed, was in shades of cockatiel grey, gunmetal grey, and black. The liquid in the vials was a pale orange, but, once processed into a pill, it came out a pretty buttery cream color. The humans in the room matched the room, stark and sterile white in color. The humans, all 6 of them, were covered from head to toe in white attire. Something called a sterile suit to keep the stuff the humans were working with from being contaminated or to keep the humans from being contaminated by it.
The human with the eyes as green as Asha’s feathers was measuring out a minute amount of the orange liquid into a Petri dish. To that the human added a red liquid and a white paste and mixed them up slowly and very carefully, as if moving too fast would cause the concoction to explode.
“Why are we here?” asked Asa from the windowsill just outside the labs one window.
“Yeah, why are we here Asha?” asked Cecil as he took his jet black eyes off the labs contents and placed them on Asha, the blue fronted Amazon with luxurious emerald green feathers who’d called them there. “Not that I’m not grateful for being here, since I did hear my Mom mention that today was supposed to be cage cleaning day and I HATE when she messes with my stuff while forcing me to stay put in a tiny travel cage.”
“Dad had the news on last night and they did a report on some cholesterol medication that is supposed to be a miracle cure for humans. Charles Gibson, the news reporter human who said all of this, said that there are rumors that the Michaela-Jones Drug Company is recycling toxic waste, turning it into a liquid, that orange stuff there,” Asha paused to tilt her yellow, blue and green feathered head in the direction of a tray of four dozen vials of orange liquid, then continued, “and then making it into pills for the humans to take to cure this stuff they get called cholesterol.”
“But, if it’s toxic, won’t that kill the humans instead of cure them?” BabyGirl, the orange winged Amazon, asked logically.
“Yeah, it would kill them.” said Asa simply.
“That’s why I brought you all here. We need to get whatever papers we can for proof for the other humans to see that the Michaela-Jones Company is trying to kill humans, not save them,” said Asha.
“Still doesn’t make sense. Why would the humans want to kill sick humans?” asked BabyGirl, still puzzled.
“I bet it has to do with the cost of that stuff the humans call health insurance. I bet that if there are no more sick humans the insurance companies will get super rich. Humans go a bit nuts around this stuff called money. Kind of like we do with millet sprays, or Asa does with Cheerios.” Cecil thought out loud.
“Hmmmm…Cheerios,” whispered Asa thoughtfully. “I sure hope no humans ever poison Cheerios. Then I’d get really mad and turn into what my Grandma calls my alter ego Psyco Birdie.”
“Well, it would help if we keep our minds on the job here Convicts Chick,” hissed Asha “We’ll have to figure out how to get in and find the papers that tell what the humans are doing here in this lab and then get them to this Charles Gibson news guy so he can hopefully stop them from killing sick humans and making the insurance companies rich. “And since you are our official lock-pick, get your mind off cereal and onto the job” finished Asha.
“We seem to be spending a lot of time trying to keep humans from killing each other,” asked Cecil. “What’s the story on that? Why can’t they live together like we do? We’re a cockatiel, a budgie and two Amazons and we seem to be able to get along. Why can’t humans do the same?”
“I sure wish I knew,” Asa said. “Most of the time when my grandma watches the news on television she tells me how the humans take out all the good parts and only keep the bad parts. She says that more humans like the bad than like the good. She tells me that we were sent here from beyond the Rainbow Bridge to love and protect humans, like angels. Like my Daddy Bird. And I do what my grandma tells me to do….most of the time.”
“Well, you do what I tell you to do now and that is find us a way into that office behind those men,” said Asha. “Let’s fly around and see if there are any windows we can get through.”
The four avian adventurers flew to the other side of the building where they found a small window that looked onto a room filled with computer screens and filing cabinets. The window was open just a crack and emanating from that crack was the sounds of a parrot of some sort.
“This is what we are looking for, an open window” said Cecil. “Do you girls…uh, Diva’s and Asa…hear what I ear?” Cecil added as the parrots desperate calls reached his tiny ears.
“Yeah, I hear it.” Said Asha, Asa, and BabyGirl simultaneously.
“What’s a parrot doing in a lab?” asked BabyGirl.
“I think it’s like Frankenstein or some movie like that. They use animals, usually rats and monkeys, as experiments. Humans inject the stuff they invent into them to see what happens. If they don’t die and sometimes if they do, the humans sell the stuff to other humans, like this cholesterol medication stuff.” said Asa knowledgably.
“Where on earth do you get this stuff?” asked BabyGirl.
“Grandma reads to us mystery books and we watch PBS all the time.” Asa said simply, before adding, “You know, I think I’m going to give Cecil the honor of getting into the room. I think this opening is too small for anyone but him.”
“Isn’t is always ‘ladies first’?” Cecil joked as he ducked down and easily slipped through the tiny opening and into the room.
“It’s one of those new fangled pop out windows, Cecil. Just put your talons on the glass and your beak on those latches and push them out toward the room, then stand back.” Asha instructed.
Cecil did as he was instructed and, once the two latches were pointing toward the room, Cecil silently flew to the computer on the extremely neatly organized desk and immediately left a ‘little something’ on the keyboard for the office’s owner.
Before they entered the room Asha whispered a warning.
“Remember, these people are willing to kill their own kind for something called money. You can be sure they would kill us if they catch us. Be careful and watch each other’s tail feathers.”
The three Feathered Friends still outside, put all their weight against the glass of the window pane. Slowly it began to move and finally, with way too loud of a thunk, it popped open.
“SHHHHHH!!!” The foursome all whispered at the window as they immediately took flight and landed on the ceiling fan.
“What was that?” said a human voice from the other room.
“Uh, probably my window again.” Another human sighed from the same room as the first human, “I’ve put in a dozen requisitions to Maintenance to fix it, but so far no luck. One good deep sigh from the wind and it flops open. I’ll go shut it as soon as we’re done injecting this new batch of Orange 66 into Mergatriod and Zippy.”
“Weren’t we supposed to inject a 6 mm dose into that stupid bird, too?” asked the first human.
“Uh, nah, we need to inject that bird with the Yellow 99.” answered the second human.
“We need to get that parrot out of there before we even think of rescuing any papers!” whispered Asha heroically.
“Yeah.” agreed Asa also in a whisper.
“I can see that the next room, where I’m sure the humans and the parrot is, has a transom just above the door. Lets get out tails over there and wait for the humans to leave.” whispered BabyGirl.
“Why don’t you Amazon Ninjas go paper hunting while the Convicts Chick and I go after the parrot.” whispered Cecil.
“We don’t know what’s in that room, Cecil.” whispered Asa, It may take all of us to get that parrot out. There are also two other critters, a Mergatriod and a Zippy. We can’t leave them behind if there is any hope of saving them.” Asa added. It was her turn to be heroic, as well as logical.
“Ok, ALL of us will go to that transom and wait.” Said Asha decisively.
Asha had apparently had the last word, as without further ado, the Feathered Four took off silently for the transom of the room just across the hall.
With talons gripping the soft pine frame of the transom so as not to slip on the slick frosted glass, the Feathered Four, took in the contents of the room: in a hospital green colored room stood two men in lab coats, each with a big hairy rat in their heavily gloved hands.
“Got Yellow 99 into Zippy.” said one of the lab men
“And, we got Orange 66 into Mergie.” the other said cheerfully.
Mergie and Zippy both began to seize, causing each man to drop his rat. Upon hitting the floor, both rats passed over the Rainbow Bridge, causing the parrot, a blue and gold Macaw, to cry out in sorrow and heartbreak at the loss of her only friends. Asa opened her beak in an automatic attempt to comfort the partially bald blue and gold, but remember at the last moment where they were, and closed it again. Cecil, Asha, and BabyGirl all sighed audibly.
“Sounds like the wind is picking up.” said the skinny lab guy with the wild red hair. “I’ll go close that window.” he concluded as he turned to leave the room and remedy the sound he interpreted as the wind through the window.
“I’ll join you. We need to document the deaths of these rats and requisition a couple more for the adjustments on Yellow 99 and Orange 66.” Said the slightly heavier lab guy with wild snow white hair.
“Yeah, we’ll need a few more rats for tests when 66 and 99 are combined.” said the red headed lab guy.
“Hmm, forgot about those tests. Will do.” said the second lab guy as he exited the room via the door just below the Feathered Four, who were still perched precariously on the transom, and turned and went left down the hall, probably to put in that requisition they’d just heard him mention.
“I’ll join you in a moment.” said the first lab guy as he locked the lab door behind him.
Once both lab guys were out of sight, the Feathered Four entered the room through the transom they’d been perched on. Asa and Cecil went immediately over to the blue and gold macaw while Asha and BabyGirl went to check on the two rats who were still lying on the floor.
“They’re dead, just like all the rest.” said the macaw.
“Did they pluck all your feathers off? Or did you lose your feathers from that stuff they gave the rats?” asked Cecil, genuinely concerned.
“No, I pulled my own feathers out.” Stated the macaw in a very depressed tone of voice. “They think I’m diseased and have been too scared to get near me, so I just keep plucking my feathers so they don’t kill me, too.”
“Smart.” Stated Asa with a beak full of padlock. “I don’t think even I can chew through this, but those wing nuts should be a piece of cake to turn.”
Cecil joined Asa at the top of the Macaws cage and helped her turn the wing nut on the left side while Asha and BabyGirl, after watching the odd couple for a moment, began the same process on the second wing nut on the other side of the cage.
“What’s your name?” asked Asa as the first of the two wing nuts came loose and fell noisily to the floor.
“SHHHHH!!!” said Asha in her most undiva like tone.
“Names Halon. And, don’t worry about the noise. The lab guys will just assume it’s me throwing my food bowls again.” Halon said in a monotone voice.
“Did you get that side Asha and BabyGirl?” asked Cecil.
“Just got in now!” said Asha as BabyGirl pitched the wing nut across the room.
“I can push my roof off, I’ve done it before. But, it’ll make way too much noise if it falls.” said Halon with a bit more happiness in her voice due to the thought of finally being free.
“We can slide it just far enough for you to squeeze out, ok?” said Asa.
“Sure, good thinking.” said Halon.
The nearly bald blue and gold macaw climbed up her rusted cage bars and with the top of her head lifted the cage top just enough for the Feathered Four to grab it with their beaks and slide it about eight inches, more than enough space for Halons skinny body to squeeze out.
“Ok, do you think you can keep up with us, or would you like me to get you outside where you can hide in the bushes till we find what we came here for?” asked Asa.
“I think I can keep up with you guys. I haven ‘t eaten in quite a while, but I think the idea of freedom is more powerful than my empty tummy at the moment.” Halon began. “What do you need to find?” she ended.
“Papers telling about that new cholesterol drug made from toxic waste. Do you know where the humans keep them?” asked Asha.
“I can do better than papers.” smirked Halon “I know where they keep those shiny circles things that all the information and test results are kept. That cholesterol stuff is what killed my friends Mergie and Zippy.” said Halon, a burst of energy just found.
“Well, lets hurry before those humans come back in!” said Cecil as he got airborne and circled the four still perched on the top of Halons rusty cage.
“Right over there…um…didn’t catch any of your names.” said Halon
“Sorry for the bad manners.” Asa apologized before introducing her ninja team, “I’m Asa. The blue buzzard is Cecil. And the blue fronted Amazon is Asha and the orange winged one is BabyGirl.”
“Ok, now we’re officially friends.” said Halon as she joined Cecil in the air and led the Feathered Four to a computer across the room. “Here, the shiny disks are kept in that locked box. I have no clue how you’ll get them out, but that’s where they’re kept.” said Halon, her still fully feathered wing extended toward the small locked plastic box.
“Piece of cake!” said Asa as she literally began to chew right through the plastic.
“Ok, how does he do that?” asked Halon, honestly puzzled at the rate of speed Asa was able to chew through the heavy plastic encapsulating the computer disks.
“First off, she’s a she. A girl ‘Asa’. Asa is short for AsaMina Sura.” began Cecil, as he defended his ladies honor. “Her friend Rosalie named her the Convicts Chick, you name it, she can break into it or out of it. Heck the girl can chew through concrete!”
“Wow.” said Halon astonished.
Asha and BabyGirl giggled, both at Halons astonishment at the Convicts Chicks speed at chewing through the plastic box and the fact she was actually a little girl.
“Ok, there are four disks in here. I say we each take one and get out tail feathers out of here.” said Asa as she peered into the now open box.
“Lets do it!” said Asha a bit too loudly.
“That air duct up there leads to the outside. “said Halon as she tilted her head toward a duct just to the left of the smoke alarm on the wall they were sitting before. “There are a couple of raccoons who come through there all the time, but only at night, to see if they can get in. Not sure why they want in, but I’m sure raccoons just aren’t very smart.”
“Ok Asa, do it again.” said BabyGirl as Asa flew up and quickly chewed through the mesh in front of the air duct.
The Feathered Four and Halon cautiously made their way through the air duct toward a breeze that came from somewhere just beyond their sight. After about a five minute waddle, they made it to the end of the duct and the outside.
“Where to from here?” Asked Halon.
“We’re going to take you to Eva’s in Charleston South Carolina. She’ll take you right in and take the best care of you you could ever imagine. She’s Mom to a couple of my best friends, Leah Danielle Sharon and Ruby Francesca Begonia. She is also Mom to the famous Rosalie Hale Bopp, who gave me my nickname. Rosie and Ruby and blue and golds just like you. Leah is a hawk head parrot and is really cool, you’ll like her a lot, too. Then the four of us are headed to Cecils in New York to get these disks to Charles Gibson so he can help the humans.” Asa said, then quickly added, “Eva will get you your own message page on Bird Channel. That’s how we all stay in touch, so no worries, we’re hard to get rid of. Once our friend, your our friend for life, thick and thin and we’ll always be there for you.”
“Amen sister!” said Asha and BabyGirl.
“Sounds ok.” said Halon uneasily.
“You’ll be fine.” reassured Cecil. “Trust us.” he added as he nuzzled Halons bare chest, which was as high up as he could reach on the nearly naked macaw.
The Feathered Four and Halon headed for Charleston. Once there, they made sure Halon and Eva were properly introduced and Halon felt relatively safe in her new home. Eva was one of those rare humans, like Asa’s Grandma, Asha’s Dad and BabyGirl and Cecils Mom and Dad, they understood birds and even were able to interpret some of their sounds, enough to know what they wanted or needed most of the time. Halon would be safe and happy from now on, they knew that for a fact.
The four friends flew back to Cecil’s home in Tonawanda, New York and found a lost cell phone. With Asa’s help, Cecil called Charles Gibson’s office and left an anonymous tip that Mr. Gibson could find some important information on the new cholesterol drug in the crevice of a gargoyle located on 5th Avenue near 123 Street.
The four friends shared the narrow ledge just above the gargoyle, yet very hidden from human view, as they watched Gibson approach the hidden information and pick it up.
“Well, I guess we did pretty good today,” said BabyGirl.
“We sure did,” said Asa. “But you don’t look too happy Asha, what’s the problem?”
“I didn’t get to mess up a single one of those nasty humans. I was hoping to get to kick tail feathers on all six of them in that first lab plus their scummy bosses! And those two evil lab guys who killed those poor rats!” hissed Asha.
The other three companions laughed as Asha took off and conspicuously pooped on the windshield of a BMW 930i parked nearby.
“Here’s what I think of humans and their stupid money,” she shouted as she headed back home to Georgia.
BabyGirl, Asa and Cecil, still laughing as Ashas tirade of disapointment, also took off for home.



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